Friday, January 25, 2013

SUYL-Adoption

Two years ago I participated in my first link up on Kelly's Blog. I linked up when she did adoption stories. We hadn't been matched yet but we had been waiting a long time. I wanted to offer encouragement to those who might also have been waiting. Here is the link to that post
Here is the link back to Kelley's blog...http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/2013/01/all-about-adoption.html?m=1

Two years later I'm typing this with my 19 month old daughter beside me. It finally is sinking in that we are done with dealing with the adoption agency, but it took awhile! It is wonderful to finally be just a normal family again.

For those of you who are in the process my heart goes out to you. The road that led us to adopting our daughter was the hardest thing I've experienced to date. There isn't a thing I would change about any of it, but I also won't sugarcoat it. It pretty much sucked, but in a good way that made me a better person. Some may not get that statement...but if you waited a long time you understand!!

We tried fertility treatments,  we signed up and waited and waited with our agency, we had a failed match, we went to the NEDC three times and transferred 6 embryos, we had another failed match, we signed with another agency......I feel like in the realm of adoption we pretty much experienced it all.  Finally though on June 3, 2011 it came to an end when our daughter was born.  We finalized her adoption December 21, 2011.....just a few days shy of being exactly 5 years since we made the first call to Bethany.  We spent half a decade dealing with our agency.  Half a decade....

I'll add links at the bottom of the post to our actually story about Camryn's adoption and you can read it if you like.  What I'd rather do right now is try to encourage those who are thinking about adopting or those who are in the process and getting pretty frustrated with it.  There are a million things I learned during our wait, but here are two of the biggest ones.

Don't put God on a timeline.  I hear (or read) about people who say they are only waiting XX months and then they are done.  I understand the frustration and the hurt and the disappointment time and time again but do not give up.  I got to that point many, many times but I am so thankful we never quit.  God very seldom works on our timelines, but His is always the best.  We got our daughter because we were the longest waiting family at the time she was born. As much as it stunk and hurt we had to start waiting October 13, 2007 so we could be the parents of the beautiful girl born June 3, 2011.  I don't even want to think about what would've happened if we had decided it was too hard and quit because we were working on what we thought the timeline should look like.

The other thing that those who are thinking about adopting sometimes wonder is if they will love an adopted child as much as a biological one.  This may be something that those with bio kids really wonder about.  I know sometimes there are families who do have some adjustment and bonding/attaching issues and that is 100% normal.  Thankfully I didn't have any of those with Camryn but this is my own experience with that.....
The minute I laid eyes on Cade I knew he was my baby.  I could've picked him out of a line up of 1,000 other babies.  He was ours.  When we didn't get the first baby in 2010 I was devastated.  After we got home I did some Internet searching and I found a picture of the baby we were going to name Colt James on the hospital website.  I looked at his face and felt absolutely nothing.  He was not my baby.  Finding his picture is what helped me to start healing.  He wasn't mine.  When we went to get Camden James in January 2011 the minute I walked in his room, even without laying my eyes on him, something in my head was screaming "this isn't my baby".  I know it was God protecting my heart because He knew we weren't going to be able to take that baby home.   BUT the moment the nurse wheeled in the isolate with this little bundle complete with a big pink ribbon on her head I knew totally and completely she was mine.  I loved her and felt like she was exactly what we had been waiting for.  Our family instantly felt complete. 


Camryn doesn't really look much like this anymore ha ha!!  Now she is a sassy 19 month old who is decorating the front of our entertainment sticker with Mickey Mouse stickers while I'm typing this.  But nothing about the way I feel has changed.  I couldn't be happier with the absolutely perfect timing God gave us with our kids.  I'm so so so glad I didn't miss out on any of this.


Camryn's Story










1 comment:

Kelley E. said...

Stopping by from Kelly's Korner link-up! I am a fellow adoptive mommy and have an 18 month old daughter. Little girls are so much fun, right? Nice to "meet" you!!