Thursday, January 31, 2013


So apparently 2013, thus far, has been about me wanting to update a few things.  I've wanted to have someone do a cute blog design for awhile.  I finally broke down after the first of the year and contacted Leslie with Sweetie Baby's and asked her to do it.  I am very pleased with how it turned out.  I've tried over the years to add different things.  No matter how much I google and try to follow the directions working with HTML is not something I can do.  I can't decorate my kids birthday cakes and I can't design blogs.  So I have someone do it for me and I am ok with that.  Thanks Leslie, I love it!

I'm also burning up Craigslist and Pinterest looking for things and getting ideas for some home updates we are doing.  Right now I've got so many things swirling around in my head and I can't wait to get started on these projects.  Last weekend my kitchen looked like Pinterest exploded because I have a tendency to start too many things at once.  I was mid way through re-doing my spice cabinet and painting the pantry all weekend.  I did manage to get the kitchen somewhat back together by Sunday evening.  Jay took Camryn to Youth Group and told me I needed to have it cleaned up by the time they got home so Camryn wouldn't injure herself.  That little turkey can reach farther and farther up on the table every day.  No matter where we put a spray bottle of Febreeze we kept finding her with it try to spray everything in site.

So look for more project funnies to come.  I feel sorry for Jay right now.  He is super busy at school because he has no planning period right now and then when he gets home I'm telling him about all these "great and so super easy" Pinterest ideas I'm finding.  He just rolls his eyes.  I told him last night that as long as he clears out President's Day weekend for me that should be sufficient.  I only need him to build some shelves, take some pictures off the old computer, build a frame for the hallbathroom mirror,  maybe try our hand and tiling a backsplas etc.  Not tood bad, right???    He will also be doing a lot of heavy lifting that weekend because we are finally getting new kitchen flooring starting February 18.  YAY!!!  So somtime that weekend he has to move out the computer cabinet, kitchen table, china cabinet, stove, fridge, wardrobe in the laundry room, our man killer dryer and the washer.... Hopefully by the time he goes back to school on the 19th we are still speaking..... 

Friday, January 25, 2013


Two years ago I participated in my first link up on Kelly's Blog. I linked up when she did adoption stories. We hadn't been matched yet but we had been waiting a long time. I wanted to offer encouragement to those who might also have been waiting. Here is the link to that post
Here is the link back to Kelley's blog...

Two years later I'm typing this with my 19 month old daughter beside me. It finally is sinking in that we are done with dealing with the adoption agency, but it took awhile! It is wonderful to finally be just a normal family again.

For those of you who are in the process my heart goes out to you. The road that led us to adopting our daughter was the hardest thing I've experienced to date. There isn't a thing I would change about any of it, but I also won't sugarcoat it. It pretty much sucked, but in a good way that made me a better person. Some may not get that statement...but if you waited a long time you understand!!

We tried fertility treatments,  we signed up and waited and waited with our agency, we had a failed match, we went to the NEDC three times and transferred 6 embryos, we had another failed match, we signed with another agency......I feel like in the realm of adoption we pretty much experienced it all.  Finally though on June 3, 2011 it came to an end when our daughter was born.  We finalized her adoption December 21, 2011.....just a few days shy of being exactly 5 years since we made the first call to Bethany.  We spent half a decade dealing with our agency.  Half a decade....

I'll add links at the bottom of the post to our actually story about Camryn's adoption and you can read it if you like.  What I'd rather do right now is try to encourage those who are thinking about adopting or those who are in the process and getting pretty frustrated with it.  There are a million things I learned during our wait, but here are two of the biggest ones.

Don't put God on a timeline.  I hear (or read) about people who say they are only waiting XX months and then they are done.  I understand the frustration and the hurt and the disappointment time and time again but do not give up.  I got to that point many, many times but I am so thankful we never quit.  God very seldom works on our timelines, but His is always the best.  We got our daughter because we were the longest waiting family at the time she was born. As much as it stunk and hurt we had to start waiting October 13, 2007 so we could be the parents of the beautiful girl born June 3, 2011.  I don't even want to think about what would've happened if we had decided it was too hard and quit because we were working on what we thought the timeline should look like.

The other thing that those who are thinking about adopting sometimes wonder is if they will love an adopted child as much as a biological one.  This may be something that those with bio kids really wonder about.  I know sometimes there are families who do have some adjustment and bonding/attaching issues and that is 100% normal.  Thankfully I didn't have any of those with Camryn but this is my own experience with that.....
The minute I laid eyes on Cade I knew he was my baby.  I could've picked him out of a line up of 1,000 other babies.  He was ours.  When we didn't get the first baby in 2010 I was devastated.  After we got home I did some Internet searching and I found a picture of the baby we were going to name Colt James on the hospital website.  I looked at his face and felt absolutely nothing.  He was not my baby.  Finding his picture is what helped me to start healing.  He wasn't mine.  When we went to get Camden James in January 2011 the minute I walked in his room, even without laying my eyes on him, something in my head was screaming "this isn't my baby".  I know it was God protecting my heart because He knew we weren't going to be able to take that baby home.   BUT the moment the nurse wheeled in the isolate with this little bundle complete with a big pink ribbon on her head I knew totally and completely she was mine.  I loved her and felt like she was exactly what we had been waiting for.  Our family instantly felt complete. 

Camryn doesn't really look much like this anymore ha ha!!  Now she is a sassy 19 month old who is decorating the front of our entertainment sticker with Mickey Mouse stickers while I'm typing this.  But nothing about the way I feel has changed.  I couldn't be happier with the absolutely perfect timing God gave us with our kids.  I'm so so so glad I didn't miss out on any of this.

Camryn's Story

Thursday, January 24, 2013

A side note to the side note

I went to the pharmacy to get Camryn's prescriptions. The doctor called them in. What he told Jay was that it would be Zithromax and something to help her breathing. I was hoping for breathing treatments. Instead it is Prednisone. I had the urge to put my head down by the cash register and cry. No one in the Shepherd household will sleep the next 5 days.

I walk out, having flashbacks to our last steroid experience, and find this Jakeleg parked right behind my car.

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The picture doesn't quite do it justice. He was just close enough that there was no way I could back out. Especially considering there were cars on both sides of me. And he was right in the middle of the driveway. I tried to take deep breaths thinking that maybe he was having car trouble....because only someone with car trouble would park like that. There were plenty of parking spaces on the other side of him....only 20 steps more than where he parked.

Finally he comes meandering out of of the store and walks all the way around his dinky truck. He looked like he was checking it for dings. I should've just backed into the thing when the urge first came over me. He's just lucky he didn't catch me on the tail end of Camryn's prednisone prescription. I'm pretty sure it would've been a Fried Green Tomatoes Moment....but instead of me  saying I am older with better insurance I'd scream my car is full of mud, it is leaking oil and I think something is wrong with the power steering. How can it get worse????

As Jay and I were talking tonight we were also discussing how I saw some kids at McDonalds that should've been in school. They knew I had caught them. I knew one of them, one of them I didn't know and one I couldn't see. I guess there was also a 4th one but I told Jay I didn't see him. Then I remembered the other strange part of my day. McDonalds was full of young Mormon men who must have been on their 2 year thing they do. There were men in black suits every where.  I mean everywhere. McDonalds was packed. I'd guess there were at least 40 of them so it's not surprising I missed the 4th kid. I think my brain forgot about that part of my day because it couldn't handle any other unusual things.

Side note from today's post

My car, from Cade's mud dance, is a disaster. Jay stopped by the office today, after Camryn's appointment and we ate a greasy McDonald's lunch together. Since it was just me in the office and my hands were full I parked close to the building. I just went to the printer and saw my car out front. That is when it hit me that customers have been parking right beside my car all day. I know they are wondering what in the heck happened in my car. I am so embarrassed.

I hope Cade has a child that pays him back for this particular incident.

Small things that sometimes feel huge....

I have really tried the last couple of years to not let things get me down. I’ve learned it is so much easier to try to laugh about things and turn them over to God and let Him deal with it. But I’m also human and there are those days that leave you wanting to bawl on the way to work. Not that anything really bad happened – there are a lot of people who would love to have problems this minor. Even though I know this it still gets overwhelming at times. Most of the time this happens when I’m not feeling 100% myself but as a wife and mother we really don’t get sick days. So we plug on through and hope we don’t do too much damage to our children’s mental health during these off days.

So here is a run down of what is making me want to put my head down on my desk and cry. Just trying to be honest….

1. I don’t feel good.  Which I should say it really is just a cold.  Nothing that would warrant staying home. (I think if you are puking or have a fever staying home with those two issues is common courtesy to those around you). What got me up and going was that I was going to leave at 2 today to get my stitches out and I was going to look at paint colors and new shelf paper for the kitchen.

2. Jay had to be at school at 7:20 for a meeting so I had to drop off both kids. Camryn wet our bed and I didn’t have time to wash the sheets. I just ripped them off the bed so it wouldn’t soak into the mattress any more than it already had.

3. Cade and I are not meshing well right now. I’m kind of at my wits end with him. I know it is his age. I’m trying to be sensitive to that, but on the other hand I don’t know how to get the point across that I mean business. If I say something it makes him mad and seems to make the situation worse. But when someone is almost 11 and they sit in the car while I’m still trying to shut off lights and get out the door – WITHOUT their coat on it is hard for me not to loose my patience. Then when they go in to get said coat and they drag mud and dirt all through the house and take 5 minutes to put the coat on my patience really wears thin. How do you express to your child that you aren’t upset about the mud – it will clean up. But what you are upset about is the fact they should know better than to do that? It is time to start taking responsibility for his actions because he can’t go through life coatless and tromping mud through other people’s business and homes. Believe me – we have customers who drag cow poop into our office and it is super irritating.

4. Camryn was wheezing really bad this morning. As I was loading her in the car I knew she was going to have to go to the doctor.

5. I pulled the car out of the garage and had to check where it had been parked. Yes, I noticed an oil leak yesterday. To me it was good sized – to Jay it wasn’t a big deal. I guess we are watching to see what will happen with it.

6. A kid pulled out in front of me this morning on 96 as I was going about 70. I had to slam on my brakes and everyone shot forward. I laid on my horn because it made me so mad. Actually I honked twice. I was that mad. If I wasn’t already super late I would’ve been tempted to follow them to the HS and lecture them on how they put my children’s life in danger. I knew it was a HS kid because someone had written on their back window with shoe polish. I had to look at that nonsense all the way to the school. Infuriating.

7. Cade – still mad at me over the coat issue, refused to say good bye as he exited the car.

8. My desk and credenza is completely covered at work. I’m overwhelmed right now. Then I was trying to calculate how I could get Camryn to the doctor and still leave in time to get my stitches removed.

9. I unloaded Camryn at the sitters and saw the worst mud mess in my back seat I’ve ever seen in my life. Cade not only drug the mud through the house he also put his feet on the car seats to tie his shoes. And it is wet mud. My car looks like someone turned a wet and muddy German Shepherd loose in it. Again…yes a car is an earthly possession – not a big deal. BUT YOU CAN”T DO THAT KIND OF STUFF IN LIFE. How do you balance that?

10. I walk into work and Pam tells me she has the stomach flu (even though she is sitting at her desk) and she is going to leave at noon. That has got to be my Pet Peeve #1. If you are that sick then you need to stay home. No one is that important at work. I do not need nor do I want the stomach flu. People like that are the reason why I have to use 10X the sick days they do because I have to stay home with my kids while it makes it’s rounds through the family.

11. I was utterly disappointed because that means I can’t leave to get my stitches out. That was what was getting me through my morning. Now I don’t get that few hours away that I really needed today for my mental sanity. And I don’t get to look at my paint colors. I’m so disappointed.

And the grand finale of minor problems really bugging me right now….

We are supposed to finish the last 4 hours of the conceal and carry class on Saturday. I don’t want to go. We are supposed to wear a hat. I hate hats and I look stupid in hats. That is supposed to be over at 12. Cade has a game at noon. I will have to wear this stupid hat to not only 1 but 2 of his basketball games Saturday. Or if I don’t want to wear the dumb hat I will have to deal with hat head. And since I’m not wanting to do this at all it is even more of a bug in my butt. And since I’m not feeling good the last thing I want to do is stand in the cold for 4 hours shooting a gun. Not when I want to put down new shelf paper and paint my laundry room and pantry. And the other issue is not having someone to watch Camryn. Pam graciously offered to watch her, which I really appreciate– but that was prior to the stomach flu. My head hurts.

Ok…I feel better getting all of that out. The urge to cry has subsided. Jay is taking Camryn to the doctor. He also said there will be a major car cleaning party tonight. I will go tomorrow at some point and get the stitches out AND look at paint. I’m still undecided on what I will do about the class. I understand Jay wants me to finish it….but with a sick babysitter, a not 100% feeling wife, a not 100% child and 2 basketball games I just feel my time would be better spent taking care of these issues on Saturday. Not trying to find a stupid hat to wear!!!

Yes, welcome to my privileged, no reason to complain about anything , life.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Reason #549 of why I was late to work...

I work with people who don't have kids. One of them is a 63 year old man who has never been married. I am fortunate that everyone is pretty understanding, but I know they really don't completely understand. I know it is even hard for me to comprehend how I can get up at 5 am every morning and still not get to work until 8. Every day it seems like it is a new issue that crops up.

This mornings takes the cake. I didn't even bother to explain myself. How can you explain to a person that has never been married and doesn't even have a pet that you were late because your toddler is constipated and she needed some privacy this morning. I had to sit in the family room with my coat on while poor Camryn grunted and strained in the kitchen. I couldn't even look at her without upsetting her more. Nothing was coming out so I just had to load her, completely against her will, and take her to Stacy's. I know that is demeaning an embarrassing for them- even at 19 months. She cried the whole way because her tummy hurt.

I can't even make this stuff up. I just walked in to my office and didn't say anything. I got word a little later that Camryn did successfully go. Maybe now everyone will have a better day.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Happy Birthday Lawson

Yesterday we made a quick trip to Sheldon to celebrate Lawson's 3rd Birthday. I can't believe he was born 3 years ago. Time has gone too fast.

All Lawson wanted from Santa was a Mater cake. I think his birthday being so close to Christmas confuses him :) He did get his Mater cake yesterday!

This morning I woke up with a sore throat and a feeling like I had been ran over by a truck. I'm not running a fever so it is probably the same thing Cade had and not the flu. I stayed home from church and have hung out on the couch all day.

Jay has taken Cade to Youth Group and I'm watching Camryn eat a book right now. She had a new nickname- Goat Baby. We swear she is part goat. Boy the weekends go too fast...

Friday, January 18, 2013

Yes, We are still alive

Since I hadn't posted anything since Tuesday I thought I should let everyone know that yes, we are all still making it. 

Jay still has a horrible cough.  Since I am human I will admit it is driving me crazy.  Not that it is his fault at all or it's not anything he can help.  I'm sure he is even more annoyed with it than I am.  But man, he is a loud cougher.  I'd say it is somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 million decibels.  It is a good thing he never took up smoking.   

Cade finally seems to be on the mend.  Yesterday morning when he woke up Jay asked him if his throat hurt.  All he could say was "I don't know".  Obviously he hasn't learned that if he wanted to stay home again he should've said "yes".  We had a good laugh over that then shipped him off to spread his germs to the rest of the public.  Last night he said his throat felt fine and he ate better than he had ate in a few days.  Then this morning he was moving like a snail and he had a pain in his side.  I'll see what happens when I get home tonight.

Camryn's mouth seems to have gone back to its normal size.  The last couple of days she has been making up for lost time when she was sick and not getting into things.  This week I've lost track of everything she has done.  I think Stacy found her swirling paper in the toilet with the toilet brush.  I've found her with my mascara in my hand and mascara on her face.  Again.  Also, some of my makeup was missing this morning.  She can now reach the edge of the table and countertops and the very top drawer in our bathroom.  There is constantly stuff from the drawer on the floor.  Since our vanity is outside the bathroom there is no way to shut the door.  We've had to use a baby gate to keep her out of there.  Jay said she looked at him with disdain when he put it up the other night.  Last night she did seem to be more raspy again.  And she started coughing , got choked and puked curdled milk in our bed.  I've lucked out and not had to clean up much puke in my almost 11 mothering years, but there is something about curdled milk that makes me dry heave more than anything else....especially when I'm half asleep and it is all over my pillow.  Gross.  Fingers crossed that she is not getting sick again.

My thumb is fine.  I should get the stitches out Thursday.  The only problem I'm having with it is getting dressed each morning.  I'm pretty much limited to leggings.  I tried pants yesterday and I did get them up but buttoning them was a definite problem.  I got it done but decided I couldn't work that hard every time I went to the bathroom.  And I was afraid I'd bust a stitch open.  I'm having to get pretty creative with what I'm wearing with the leggings due to the fact my black ones are dirty so I'm having to expand into other colors.  It's is getting tough but who doesn't like a good clothing challenge????  Who knows, I may be able to start another fashion blog.....500 ways to wear a pair of leggings when you almost cut your thumb off  I think that is quite catchy.

We are all surviving.  Honestly our house took the brunt of this week.  I had been able to get it in a state of "wouldn't be too mortified if someone came over" since Sharon's birthday, but I lost that status this week.  I did get part of it done last night and we will hopefully get the rest of it back in order tonight.  Of course it doesn't help that I've been running late the last couple of mornings and I've had to do all of this legging experimenting.  There is a stack of clothes in our closet that needs to be hung up again.  Keeping a neat closet seems to be as likely for me as....I don't know what.  It's just not something I can seem to make happen.  Hopefully I can at least keep it clean until I have to get dressed tomorrow morning.....

Have a great weekend!!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

And Camryn didn't want to be left out....

Stacy met me at the door with Camryn, which usually means things aren't 100%. I could tell Camryn's upper lip was swollen. She went to sit in a chair that wasn't there and fell on her face. Stacy said there was so much blood she couldn't tell if it was coming from her mouth or nose. Knowing Camryn I wondered how long she held her breath after it happened. She is in a good mood but she won't let me lift up her upper lip. I imagine it is pretty sore. She may look rough tomorrow morning.

I think I will collapse on the couch this evening.

And to add to yesterday's totals....

Cade has been complaining about a sore throat for a couple of days.  I've been watching him closely but so far had no fever.  He did look a little off but he also spent the night with a friend Saturday night and he only got a couple of hours of sleep.  Last night, from Urgent Care, I directed Jay to give Cade his Singular.  He has to take that every spring so I thought maybe we were just needing to start him a little earlier this year.

This morning his throat still hurt.  I asked him if it was bad enough to see the doctor.  He said No.  Then I asked him if he wanted Tylenol.  Again, he told me No.  He said it didn't hurt that bad.  Since I saw no obvious reason to keep him home we sent him to school.  I figured we'd just keep watching him and see what happened.

Sitting in the Greenfield office this morning I see a Miller number pop up on my phone.  Great...Yup it was the school nurse.  Cade had visited her yesterday and today about his sore throat.  She said he wasn't running a temp but wanted to make sure she could give him some Tylenol.  I told her that was fine and we hung up.

I thought about it for a few minutes and decided to just call his doctor.  I do not want to be known as the parent who let Patient Zero stay at school with strep or the flu.  I picked him up on my way through from Greenfield for a 1:00 appointment.  I asked him how his throat felt.  He said better since he got the Tylenol.  Really....and I thought he didn't think the Tylenol would help???

Drumroll please for his diagnosis.......we don't know!!!  The strep test came back negative.  The NP said it could be a virus or it could be the beginning of the flu.  We will just have to wait and see - which is exactly what I thought we should do this morning, but when the school nurse calls it puts a lot of pressure on a parent.  So after his appointment I ran him home to simmer....either he is going to get sick or not.  At this point we are just waiting.  I will say that I don't think his eyes look right, they have that glassy look and the NP thought the same thing.  Hoping that with some rest this afternoon he can work on fighting off whatever it is he has.

When she was asking him about his symptoms I was mentally answering with her...
sore throat...Check

Hopefully it is just all mental.  Or it could be the fact that I'm finally back in the office for the day and I am EXHAUSTED from all the running around!!!  Only 2 more hours in the day...surely I can make it. 

What could I title this post....

There are many different titles I could've used for this one....
How to blow through your health Flexible Spending Account in One Day...How to meet your family deductible in 1 to forget you are mad at your husband... Why am I sitting in Urgent Care in the middle of flu season and I'm not even sick...really it was just too hard to decide on only one. Here is the whole story from yesterday which will be forever known as the most expensive day in the Shepherd household to date.

Back when Jay was sick after Christmas he had made an appointment with the kids doctor for the 14th. He wanted to switch to a doctor in MV. The timing turned out to be good because he had a relapse at the end of last week. Dr D said his lungs were inflamed. He got a steroid shot in the office and scripts for prednisone and Zithromax again. They also drew blood and will do a whole blood work up.

Since he already had one appointment he made an eye appointment for the same day. He has needed to do that for awhile so he knocked them all out in one day. He will be getting new glasses in about a week.

Then he also needed to squeeze in the chiropractor yesterday. Sunday morning he slipped on our driveway and fell on his shoulders and back of his head. He is lucky he wasn't knocked out. He could've froze before I would've realized he was gone too long just to be feeding.

So in between all his appointments I called to see about lunch. He was buying a gun. Not to air our problems on the blog like you see on FB all the time, but lets just say I wasn't happy. I knew he was going to buy one, I just didn't know he was doing it yesterday.

On the way home from work yesterday I prayed a lot about trying to let my irritation go. It wasn't like I didn't know that was his plan eventually. I got home and we ate dinner. Jay went out to feed and I started slicing potatoes to get a start on tonight's dinner.

Apparently God didn't think I'd get over my irritation all cozy and snugly in my Jammie's at home. Nope. Not one little bit. Instead I sliced my thumb open with a knife that I had just thought to myself seemed a little dull. Cade saw the blood and ran to get a band aid. Then he took Camryn in our room and turned on the TV for her. He was a big help.

I called Jay and asked him to come in and look at my thumb. I'm a bleeder anyway so it was hard to tell how deep it was. Jay said it probably wouldn't hurt to get stitches. It was 7 and Urgent Care closes at 8. I rushed to change my clothes and flew out of the house. Jay stayed with the kids because they didn't need to sit at Urgent Care and there wasn't time to load them and their gear.

The whole way to Springfield I was thinking "of course I would do something like this and have to go to Urgent Care in the middle if the worst flu epidemic in a decade." Then I did laugh because God definitely helped me to forget I was irritated with Jay. I made it by 7:45. Since I was the last patient of the night I didn't have to sit with the sickies for very long.

By 9 I was on the road back home with 3 stitches, an up to date DTaP and 2 antibiotic prescriptions. Whew!!! What a day. I'll probably be wearing leggings for a few days. My thumb is tender and it is in the spot you need to be able to pull your pants up.

I guess the moral of the story is to remember God answers our prayers in unexpected ways!!! I just hope I didn't bring something else home with me besides stitches and the anticipation of getting another bill from Cox. I feel like I might as well tell them "just put it on my tab- Ill probably catch the flu in a few days from these people so ill be back." At least I know I'm covered against whooping cough since that was part of last nights vaccination.

Please excuse any errors. I am typing one thumbed today.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

What I Did Today....

It is not something I would've ever thought I would was not something I had ever thought about wanting to so...and I didn't do it because I wanted to...
I took half of the requirements necessary to carry and conceal a weapon. Yup...the next time you see me I could have a gun in my bra...but don't be concerned. I don't even have a gun!

Jay has wanted to do this for awhile and he wanted me to do it to. Yes, knowing how to use a gun is a good idea. Knowing how to load and unload it is a good idea. Carrying one on my body though is a whole 'nother thing that I've not bought in to completely.

Jay has been talking to me about this for awhile. This week I finally resigned myself to keep my mouth shut and go. If it was that important to him I'd get licensed, it just didn't mean I would carry one. The same night I made my decision Jay came home and told me he understood I didn't want to....BUT he had a gut feeling I was going to need this some time. WHAT??? Why did he have to say that? Now he has scared the crap out of me. And we don't even own a gun. I've been a little worried to even leave the house since Thursday.

We debated it back and forth, because I'm still too scared to have anything like that with Camryn and Cade. Jay said that we'd learn about where to hide it on our bodies and it would be fine. My hands were sweating through the whole conversation.

At the class today thy showed us 3 strapped under the boobs, one in the waist band and one on the ankle. All I could think was that none of that was going to work very well with my boots and skinny jeans or my dresses. Then don't even get me started on carrying Camryn through the mall with one strapped to my chest.

I asked Leslie about the comfort of it and she told me that it is uncomfortable but she wears it for protection and not for comfort. I completely get that statement but...(girl talk here) I've been having major bra comfort issues for the last few months. If my bra makes me uncomfortable to the point I almost loose my mind during the day I really don't think I can handle a gun strapped to my boobs and poking my tummy roll. I'd seriously be more at risk of going stark raving mad and stripping my clothes off in my office to get away from the constant rubbing than needing to shoot someone.

Then there is the waist band kind. I don't know about other women, but I've spent a lot of time, energy and money on Spanx to camouflage my muffin top. Unless Spanx is making conceal and carry Assets for Target I don't know that one in my waist band will work. And that is even if it would fit in my waist band. I wanted to ask Leslie if she has to go up a size in jeans to make it fit? Then there is the whole issues of the type of pants I wear...I'm afraid dress pants would be too thin and a bulge would show. My skinny jeans would work better but then I'd have to lift up 6 feet of tunic to get to the gun. Because if I'm wearing skinny jeans I want the shirt down to my knees! Then there are my regular jeans. I do love my regular jeans, but they fall down a lot. I can't decide if they are too big or too small, but I'm constantly hiking them up. I'm afraid I'd be walking and the gun would end up around my kneecap. I did mention that with my dresses that I wear to work none of those options would work very well. I guess there is a type of carrier that is like underwear and you wear it there. I'm not sure a gun in my crotch all day sounds any better.

Oh and if I could ever finally find the perfect outfit then there is the bathroom issue. Leslie said she knows the best bathrooms in Springfield for going with a gun. It really is just too much for my brain to wrap around today. Picture it... The mall, a stroller, Camryn, diaper bag, packages, drinks, snacks...then I have to maneuver all that into a handicapped stall, find a place to put the gun while repeating over and over to Camryn don't touch anything and to please not lick the floor.

On the way home Jay asked if I felt better about it. NO!!! If anything I feel more anxious. I'll have to start wearing shapeless Mumus. And what about summer clothes? It would be virtually impossible to hide one then. I just don't think this is for least not on my body. But then Jay has this "gut feeling".... So yeah I am really not feeling a bit better about the whole deal!

We will finish up the class in 2 weeks. I really do appreciate Jake and Leslie teaching it for us. There were 10 in the class. I do feel there is a need for it. If Jay wants to carry a gun I am fine with it. I don't have any problems with people carrying guns. I just have a problem if that person is me!!! I really wanted to get new flooring for my kitchen...not a gun!

After our training we went to Cade's second basketball game. They are now 2-0. I forgot to mention that Camryn was
at the class with it. Four hours of keeping a toddler entertained and quiet. Fun times fun times. By the time Cade's game started, after Jay and I worked the concession stand for an hour, I was worn out. And I might as well have been sitting on rocks as bad as the bleachers made my rear hurt. I don't know if it (meaning my hind end) will survive another 17 years of bleachers. I may have to break down and buy a seat cushion(insert big sigh).

Then can you imagine how my butt would have felt if I had a gun crammed down my pants. Except I was wearing leggings and boots. I don't know if a gun and leggings would go together very well. I'm picturing a possible accidental depantsing occurring. Or if I had the crotch kind on what kind of bulge would that show in leggings and a tunic??

Now I have a huge headache. This is too much for my brain today. I'm going to sign off and do something relaxing like listen to the weather and hear about our possible ice accumulation tonight :)

Here are a few pictures from the game. Cade is the one wearing the red uniform with a gray shirt. He swore he loaded his white t-shirt this morning...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Too Much Disney!!!

We've been watching too much Disney Junior lately. This morning I was singing Jake and the Neverland Pirates song on the way to work. Right now I am trying to concentrate on a file and I'm singing (in my head of course) Chuginton chu chu chu Chuginton AND the worst one....
Cade told me he belted out the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song in front of a friend this weekend. He was pretty embarrassed, but he handled it pretty well. It could've been devastating for a
10 year old.

Why do they have to make those tunes so catchy?

Monday, January 7, 2013

BCS National Championship

Apparently Cade is rooting for Notre Dame. Jay didn't have an opinion - he just knew Alabama would crush ND. Cade is not only watching the game he is pouring over old Sports Illustrated issues. What a cutie. He is growing up way too fast.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Reading the Bible in a Year

That is something I've wanted to do for a long time. I've even started it several times, but never finished it.

One year I tried using the scriptures from the Lookout magazine we get a church each week. I started out behind and could never get caught up. It stressed me to see that stack of magazines. I gave it up after a few weeks. I was only reading to mark that scripture off the list.

Then in 2011 I wanted to try it again. This time I found a chronological plan on the Internet. That time I made it farther than I ever had...even through Leviticus which is always a hard one. Then we found out about Camryn and I couldn't focus on anything. By the time we got her home I was at least a month behind and all of those blank check marks on my papers
Bothered me. I threw that plan away.

I knew 2012 wasn't going to be a year to tackle it again. I wanted to read it because I wanted to- not just to mark it off my to do list. I could barely get myself dressed every day so I knew setting a goal like that would only make me feel defeated before I started.

So last year I did some research and read some good things about The One Year NLT Chronological Bible. I also found out that Stacy, Camryn's sitter had that Bible. I've always been a NIV girl so I wasn't sure about using a different version. But since Stacy had it I knew it must be fine. I put it in my Christmas list.

So far I love this version. I realize
I am only 6 days in to it but this reads more like a book. Everything is arranged by date so I don't have a separate list to follow or things to mark off. I just open the book where my bookmark is at and read.

I'm not telling you this to brag or anything like that at all. I'm only telling you about it today because it is only January 6th. If reading the Bible through in a year is something you've wanted to do but got overwhelmed like me this may be the Bible for you. And there is still plenty of time to get caught'd only be 6 days behind. Actually you wouldn't even need to focus on the dates...just pick it up and start reading it. Or if you've seen this Bible but it was wrapped in plastic so you couldn't look at it- I'm letting you know that I think it is really good.

So there is my unbiased, unpaid review of the day!! Now, I'm not to Leviticus yet. That will be sometime in February so I 'm nowhere being close to saying I will finish it this year. But I'm going to try.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

All good things must come to an end...

I am finally done with our Christmas recap!! I know everyone is cheering. We had a really great Christmas. Both kids were so much fun and we were able to do a lot of fun things.

One of the funniest things was Camryn saying Santa. She is obsessed with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse right now. There was an episode we saw 659 times throughout December where they rescued Santa. To call Santa they would say Santa, Santa Ho Ho Ho. She picked up on that and said it a lot. I even heard her sing a version of Old McDonald where he had a Santa. So cute and funny and sweet!

Apparently though Camryn was over the Christmas decorations by the 26th. I was in the family room when I heard Cade say "oh my gosh...MOM". He has this way of saying things with a tone that makes your heart skip a beat. When I got to her bedroom I saw that she had knocked her tree over. We didn't do ornaments this year but I had added the ones we got as gifts to her tree. I think she was trying to get her Mickey and Minnie ornaments down. I don't even know when it happened. It isn't a big tree so I probably wouldn't have heard it fall. Cade was walking by and saw it down already. I wish I could've seen her face when the tree cane down. She wasn't too concerned about it when I saw it so I don't know if it phased her at all. And I love Cade in the picture. He's playing with his iPod like it is every day a tree is knocked down in his sisters room. I asked Camryn what she had done and she said Tree over and over.

Reminded me of 16 Candles when the weights fell through every floor of the house and you could hear them saying "Party's over." I felt like that was what Camryn was saying....Tree is down, Christmas is over!

Christmas Day

We spent Christmas morning at home, like always. And we had to wake the kids up. Cade is weird like that- he has never woke up early on Christmas morning. We have always woke him up because we were about to pop! Both kids were in our bed so that was probably why we ended up so early. I took a couple of cute pics of them before I woke them up.

Camryn's big gift was a piano. We think she might have an interest in music so we are trying to cultivate that. From what we know her birth father had some musical abilities so we will see. She does love to sing.

Cade's big gift was an iPod. He was thrilled! He also got several Under Armor things. 5th grade has definitely been the year of the UA brand.

Jay favorite gift was a shop manual I found for Cade's 1958 Chevy they are working on. Jay picked me out a really cute dress, leggings and matching jewelry. I loved it. He usually does a good job when he buys me clothes. I wore it Christmas Day but I didn't get a picture.

By the time we got presents unwrapped Jay was feeling worse. Cade was actually feeling better. Funny how an iPod can cure a person. I told Jay to stay home while we went back to Sheldon. He didnt want me to drive by myself. He went with me, but he stayed at mom's house while we went to Aunt Helen's. unfortunately I didn't get any pictures there. My phone battery died. Charity did send me one of some of the cousins with the Happy Birthday cake for Jesus. That is always a fun tradition.

When I checked on Jay that afternoon he was running a fever so we headed home. Poor guy. He was down that whole week with bronchitis.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Christmas Eve Night

Since we were in Sheldon for the day we didn't make any plans because we didn't want to be rushed on either end. Turns out that was a good thing since the Black Plague seemed to be settling in on us as we left Sheldon. Jay and Cade both had sore throats...and moods were quickly going downhill.

Earlier in the fall the beauty shop next door sent the Schwan's man into our office. When I saw that yellow truck I cursed the beauty shop employees. Pam and I hate buying things but we also hate telling people no. We did take a catalog to look at. Turns out they do have some food that is priced pretty decently and it is better than the Aldi's frozen pizzas I was subjecting the boys to on busy nights. I haven't heard Jay complain about heartburn once. I knew I had a Schwans frozen lasagna in the freezer so that ended up being our fancy CE meal. The moral of that story is don't necessarily turn the Schwans man away next time he knocks on your door. He may be a lifesaver on your next important occasion.

After we ate we did the Nativity set that Corey and Kristy gave us a couple of years ago. I decided I would feel less like a failure if I gave up the notion of adding a figure each night for 7 days. Instead we did them all at once on CE and that worked pretty well.

You may notice that Camryn is only wearing a diaper. Our tradition is to open Christmas Jammie's after we read the Christmas Story on CE. She trashed her other Christmas Jammie's my mom gave her with her lasagna. Then she refused to put the pair on that Sharon gave her. At 18 months she already has some strong ideas about her clothing. So I let her go almost naked. It didn't seem to bother her

Once everyone was finally dressed we read The Night Before Christmas and left milk and cookies out. Cade was really by feeling good because he wanted to go to bed at 8 and we weren't far behind him.

Oh- and these are my absolute favorite PJ's I ever got Jay. I could not wait to give them to him.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Sick Baby...Again

Looks like I will be staying home today with this poor thing. Stacy called me yesterday and said Camryn was miserable. I had a feeling something was going on because she had been extremely cranky over the weekend and very lethargic New Years Day. Actually I had been pretty concerned about her. I was almost relieved when the nurse said her temp was 101.3. At least I knew there was a concrete reason for why she seemed sick. This has been our 4th trip to the doctor in a month!! Dr D looked down her throat and said it looked like strep. He didnt put her through the misery of swabbing it. Since we can't get
This chest congestion cleared up she needed an antibiotic anyway. Here's to hoping round 2 of Zithromax does the trick. And as soon as he said strep my throat started feeling sore...

Christmas Eve Day

We celebrated Christmas with dad and Lynn Christmas Eve morning. Since we spent the night with dad we decided to have a Christmas breakfast. It was fun and different. Like Jay said- he really enjoys a good breakfast! It was a nice change from the normal holiday food that we normally eat.

We left the kids in their Jammie's. and true to form a decent picture was next to impossible.

And, as usual Jay loved playing with Avery's gift. This year it was a cash register with a microphone. Jay loved that microphone.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A New Year, A New You

That was one of the cliche segment titles the Today show used yesterday. Most of the time the news makes me want to cover my ears, but it especially does around New Years. All those segments on weight loss and resolutions and exercise blah, blah, blah. I would've changed the channel, but that would have meant getting up...

But as I was making fun of that title in my mind I did have a thought hit me. Maybe Camryn would be willing to start the new year bottle less. I decided to ask her...

Me: Camryn, since it is a new year would you like to start using a cup more?

C: Yeah

Me: So we can throw your bottles away?

C: (as she grabs her bottle off of the coaster she had placed it on and protectively crosses her arms over it) NO!

Oh boy. I think I'll try again on Presidents Day.