Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Yesterday's Debacle

Yesterday Cade had a dentist appointment.  It had been on my mind ever since Jay scheduled it over Christmas break.  As the day got closer it looked like I would be the one to take him.  It was stressing me a little because this week is horrible at work.  And I've known it was going to be really bad for quite awhile....The loan officer is going on vacation next week, we have 5 loans that need to close this week, 3 of them have FSA Gurantees, one is a poultry loan with 3 different loans for one person...I know that means nothing to most of you, but to me it means a long, hard, very bad time to leave work early kind of week.  But yet I didn't want to cancel the appointment.  We actually got one of coveted after school slots so I hated to give that up.  I was just going to take him and hope for the best.  I was so glad when Jay's thing got rescheduled to another evening.  That meant he could take Cade to the dentist and I could stay at work.  No one had to miss any work for this appointment.  I was so relieved that I completely forgot about the appointment.  So did Jay.  Yesterday at 3:40 it hit me for some reason.  Luckily Jay answered right away.  I quickly blurted out "Cade has a dentist appointment".  Jay had to grab Cade from the computer lab and head out the door.  It was 3:45 by the time they got on the road.  The appointment was at 4:00.  They were at least 30 minutes away from the dentist office.  I called the dentist office and said they'd be about 10 minutes late.  I knew that I was lying because I thought it would be 4:15 before they got there but I didn't want to say it.  I was afraid they would make us cancel the appointment.    I got a text from Jay at 4:06 saying they had made it.  Since they made it there before 4:10 I didn't feel like I had lied anymore.  I just breathed a huge sigh of relief that they made it and the appointment would take place.  I also told Jay he needed to drive extra slow on the way home to make up for it!

A few minutes later I got a text from Jay saying I owed him big for this trip...Cade got ticked when he got ripped from the computer lab and then he got even more ticked when he fell asleep on the way and Jay woke him up once they got there.  I reminded Jay that Cade would be even worse once he got done.  He had to have some fillings so his mouth would be numb.  Two things really aggravate Cade - when he gets his eyes dilated and when he has his mouth numbed.  Neither are good experiences for Jay or me.        

And yes, Cade has had teeth filled before.  Thankfully they have been baby teeth, but I find it to be disturbing.  I'm sure a dentist would argue with me, but I'm convinced the health of your teeth has a lot to do with genetics.  I know people who brush and floss all the time and still have issues, while others only brush once a day and never have problems.  I never had cavities until after I had Cade, (since he sucked every nutrient out of my body and left me with only an additional 50lbs) - then I had a billion of them that we watched for a couple of years.  Once we decided to fill them it took several trips to the dentist.  Fun times, fun times.  With Cade I think part could be genetic and part is also the fact that it takes him all of 14 seconds to brush his teeth.  And then a friend of ours pointed out that we are on well water so Cade hasn't ever had any fluoride.  That was a good point...I'm going to blame it on that and believe it's not from  lack of parental involvement of standing over him twice a day making sure he actually moves the toothbrush around and doesn't just spit out unfoamed toothpaste.  I sure clean a lot of hunks of blue toothpast out of the sink... 

I tell you - being a parent is so totally exhausting.  Before having a child I knew it would be hard. I understood all of the big things like discipline and the fact that you worry about their safety constantly.  It's the little things I was unaware teeth brushing and multiplication tables and homework and monitoring how much TV they watch and what kinds of things they are watching/listening/reading and do they exercise enough and do they eat right and is him talking about the NFL constantly something the other kids make fun of....

There is so much to do and not enough hours in the day!!!  Sometimes I think God must know that one at a time is all I can handle.  At least when we have a 2nd child Cade will be old enough to monitor some of this stuff.  Jay and I will be too old and tired by that point.     

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Cell Phone Incident

I was off yesterday because of Presidents Day and it was wonderful!! Presidents Day is
the only holiday outside of the normal ones that we get so it's always a nice little bonus. Jay and Cade had school so I had some alone time at home in the morning. Very nice!

That afternoon Jay needed to go to Fayetteville for a school thing so Cade and I rode along. Cade and I got to spend a few hours with Nana and Granddad and I also did a little shopping. There is a great kids store there I like to check out when I'm in town.

We didn't get back to Miller until close to 10pm. We cleaned out the school van and then got in our vehicles to head home. I was in Jay's way so I pulled out first. When I got a little ways down the driveway I noticed he wasn't following me. I looked back and saw he had stopped and it looked like he was looking for something. I decided to go on because if he needed something he would call.

The whole way home I kept looking for his lights behind me and never saw them. Again I knew he call if he had a problem. We got home and Cade got into bed. I put up our coats and shoes and put away the things I had bought. Got all that done and Jay still wasn't home. I decided to call him. My phone was plugged in so I leaned against our kitchen counter to reach it. As I dialed his number I felt something vibrate on my stomach and heard it hit against the counter. All of a sudden I flashed back to the view in my rear view mirror - Jay outside the truck looking for something. Instantly I knew what he was searching for. His phone was in my hoodie pocket.

I didn't know what to do. Cade was in bed and it was after 10. I was afraid if I went back I'd miss him on the highway but I was also afraid he'd look for it all night if I didn't do something. Finally i decided I needed to find him I told Cade to hop in the car and not to worry about shoes because there was no time. I slipped on a pair of Jays shoes and off we went. Thankfully I met Jay just a little bit away from the house. I stopped and asked if he was looking for his phone. The look he gave me was not the overjoyed one I expected when I told him I had it. We got back to the house and he asked when I picked it up. I don't have a clue when I did or when I put it in my pocket. Poor Jay had been digging in the school dumpster afraid he had tossed it with the van trash while I was at home thinking he'd call if he had a problem...

Pretty sure I got myself banned from ever touching his Blackberry again...

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Friday, February 18, 2011

Riding in a car with a boy...

***I thought of another one this afternoon.  Added it to the bottom.

Right now we are starting one of Jay’s busiest times of the school year – FFA contest season. He is gone several nights a week from now until the end of April…meetings, contests, practices, etc. It can be hectic for all of us. But one benefit is that Cade and I spend a lot of time together in the car. Being in the car  is the best place to have a conversation with him. There isn’t anything else for him to do or focus his attention on. It gives me a little more look to the inside workings of his brain, especially when I pick him up from school. That is Cade’s best conversation time. The only problem is that he says so much stuff it is hard for me to remember everything, but I wish I could. Most of it is so funny.

Here are some highlights from yesterday. He actually said several more really funny things but I can’t remember them, which really irritates me! We spent even more time together yesterday because I picked him up from school, came back to work, drove home and then went back to basketball practice. Lots of talking time. Most of it is him talking with a few questions thrown in that he doesn’t give you time to answer…

So why is the Super Bowl MVP always the Quarterback? Don’t you think they should line them up and give it out to some other players. There are other good players on the team. I guess that’s not how they roll in the NFL.

When I took him to practice I planned on parking and walking him into the gym. Then I was going to go across the street and check on something at our church. As we pulled into town my gas light started dinging. I decided to just drop him off, go get gas and then go check on the church stuff. I told him to look inside and make sure Jeff and/or Christina (coach and his wife) were in the gym or at the very least some of his team. Which I realize I complicated it when I added in the last line about the team. Then Cade started asking me well what if so and so is there or what if the team that practices on the other side of the gym is there or what if only one or two of my teammates are there. I finally had to break in and say just Jeff or Christina. If you don’t see them let me know. I dropped him off and he gave me the thumbs up. I had no idea what I was going to find when I got to the gym 10 minutes later. It was anybody’s guess. When I told Jay this story he asked if I told Cade “nice job on the questions, those are exactly the same things I would ask”. Then he proceeded to tell me that Cade and I are two peas in a pod. Not sure he is exactly thrilled about that…

But then that leads into the next story….when we got home Cade asked me something about Nana’s family. I didn’t know the answer but I said we could look it up in the books she made us for Christmas. I handed him the book and he looked at it a minute then says “It’s times like this I wish I was a little autistic”. Of course I said WHAT??? He said that autistic people can scan a page and have it all memorized. I asked him where he heard that. He said Temple Grandin. Jay rented that movie over Christmas, which was really good by the way. You can click on her name to learn more about her, very interesting woman. I told Jay that story last night and when I got to the part about asking Cade how he knew about someone with autism Jay said - Temple Grandin. So who is the one who thinks like Cade???

And as a side note – their relationship seems to be back to a normal dad/son thing and not two siblings at each others throats. Since Jay got home late Cade seemed  glad to see him. He sat on the couch for a minute and gave Jay a big hug. Not only is the temp outside way up from last week so are the moods in our house!

**Dad is a State Farm Driver, are you a State Farm Driver?  Yes, all of our insurance is with State Farm.  You are one of their 4 million customers. How much money has it saved?  (Trying very hard not to laugh) Cade, I have no idea. 

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Life does go on…

Yesterday I took a couple of hours of mental health time from work. I had already scheduled to be gone in the afternoon because of my appointment with the dentist so I just moved my flight time up by a little. There is nothing like a little retail therapy and lunch at Chick-Fil-A to chase away the winter/adoption blahs. I had a couple of funny things happen to me yesterday. I got my food and sat down in a booth where I could people watch. I looked over and saw my mother-in-law. She hadn't seen me. If I had sat in another spot we would have totally missed each other. I think I surprised her when I walked over and asked if she wanted someone to sit with. After we ate we walked around Penney's for awhile and picked out some birthday presents for Cade, since that is coming right up. After that I had to leave the mall for my dentist appointment. After I was done there I went back to the mall because I was on the hunt for some new tennis shoes. I had just a little bit of time between the dentist appointment and another appointment. I found some shoes and looked around several stores and then headed to B&BW. You'll never guess who was in there. Yup, ran into to Sharon again. What are the chances? She had a coupon that she gave me so I got a free bottle of body spray. So yesterday was a good day…new Puma's (which I have never owned a pair of) and the newest scent from B&BW – Carried Away.

The dentist appointment though was so-so. I need a gum graft, which I figured would be the case. It's not necessarily an emergency, but since it's not bad it will be easier to correct it now. I.Do.Not.Want.To.Loose.My.Tooth! So I'm scheduled for the procedure March 30. They will scrape the roof of my mouth and use that skin to fix the gum. So far it's not really bothering me, but he scraped it yesterday and I could tell the root was exposed. Probably best to fix it before it causes me a lot of problems.

My 2nd appointment of the day was the natural doctor I started seeing before our transfer. I'm not sure why I'm still going – except that I like her. A lot. I think I like just talking to her as much as anything else that she does for me. She just has a calming spirit, which I can always use that in my life. So I go about every 6 weeks to get my dose of calm and put things in perspective. And getting my back put back into place isn't bad either.

After my 2nd appointment of the day I headed to the grocery store. Our pantry was pretty pitiful so it was time. I've started going to 4 different places to get food. It takes a little more time, but it has saved us quite a bit of money. I've been doing that since the first of the year. I didn't get home until 8 last night. Then we had to unload the car and put it all away. Needless to say I was ready to finally sit down last night.

I guess this boring post is just to say that life still continues to go on. I get sad or mad, and then I have to recover and move on…But there is nothing like a new pair of shoes to help speed the healing process along J

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Waiting Game

Yesterday was one of those very rough waiting days. Thankfully they aren’t as frequent as they used to be because they flat wear me out! By the time we got home from Cade’s 4-H meeting I was exhausted and climbed into bed. I didn’t even get up early enough for my normal morning routine. I felt like I needed the sleep more. I think I’m starting feel somewhat back to normal now. Thank goodness!

Basically this day has been in the making since the 10th. We got a call from agency #2 that there was a mom who wanted to look at profiles. Were we interested? Called the agency back Friday, got the details and told her to show us. They were meeting with mom Tuesday (yesterday). The agency said they’d let me know by email what the mom decided. Even though I seriously think this had to be close to the 40th time our profile was shown (and that is not an exaggeration, that is a low ball estimate) , I was still nervous.

Add in a profile showing with the year anniversary of last year’s disappointment mix together and you have a mental mess! Then we got our monthly update from agency #1 yesterday morning. Baby C has been placed with a family. I am so grateful for that, but at the same time it stung a little. It was just all of that bad stuff was wrapped up in a neat little package with a one line statement. That made me sad. Then yesterday afternoon agency #2 called to let me know the mom looking at profiles had picked another family. I was so sad by the time I got home last night. It was just a lot to digest in one day.

Also on the update from agency #1 was a reminder that we have to complete 10 hours of training, per person, before a placement. This is a new rule. It makes me want to pull my hair out. Not that I’m against training, but it is just more crap to wade through. Honestly I keep forgetting about it. I think I’m mentally thinking “whatever!” . At this rate I feel like we’ve got years to get that 10 hours done. I’m sure some of the families are jumping on it and probably have their hours done. I can’t even remember to print off the email to take home to deal with it. And it is 10 hours for me and 10 hours for Jay. That should be fun to get through during his busiest time….Oh who am I kidding, his job is always busy!

Every time our profile is shown I pray that God helps the family to make the right decision and if they do place their baby to give it to the right family. I’m getting tired of us never being the right family. I really think 40 showings is a generous low estimate. We have been shown a lot. A whole lot. Out of those showings only a handful of those babies ended up with their biological families. They were placed with adoptive families – just not our family. Out of those showings we were picked once because the mom liked us, but in the end released the baby to foster care. Even in Baby C’s situation I don’t know that we were picked because she liked us – she felt strongly about giving him to the family who waited the longest. So in a way we won by default and not because we were liked. I’m sure she did look at our profile and was ok with placing him with us, but still….Another time we were the only ones willing to be shown in a situation. She looked at our profile and decided foster care was a better option. That one really hurt. So as you can see I was just a mess last night!

But because I married a really great guy, he understood. He told me to go to bed when we got home last night and he handled the bedtime routine and homework and other NFL questions. Then while I was writing out this whole sad post I got a delivery….

The card was signed Just because we love you - Jay & Cade.  Isn't he the best.  Only problem is that it made me tear up again!

*Also, to clarify - I don't fault any of the mom's for making the decisions that they did.  Especailly in our loss last year.  I really feel that she was coercied into that decision by some of the events that transpired.  My anger in that particular situation was centered on the DFS of that state.  They did some really underhanded things that our agency had never experienced before.  We've had a lot of out there things happen to us with the situaitons we were picked for.  As an adoptive parent you prepare yourself for the possibility of not getting the baby because the parents decide to parent.  That hasn't happened in any of our situations.  I really feel I could've handled that scenerio better than knowing they were going into foster care.  That really makes me sad. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

One Year Ago....

Today is the baby’s first birthday. It’s hard to believe that just one short year ago our lives were turned topsy-turvey over the course of 10 days. In other ways it feels like a lifetime ago that we got the calls that changed so many things in our lives in 2010. A lot of the direction and focus of our year all came out of that time. When I think about those days I don’t feel particularly sad, at least not as sad as I thought I would’ve felt on February 18, 2010. I also obviously don’t feel happy either….it’s a weird emotion of almost nothing…but yet something. Maybe it’s because there isn’t a word to define missing something that was never yours to begin with….

I’ve never really connected a name to him. In my mind he’s usually baby…when Jay and I talk about it, which is rare, we call it the trip to Illinois. He’s not the name we picked out the few short minutes before we got the call saying he wasn’t ours, but yet I don’t think we would ever reuse the name if we were blessed with another boy. It wasn’t a name that I had any particular fondness for. I liked it, but I wasn’t in love with it. I was never attached to it like I was Cade’s name. The name is all wrapped up together in my head with the whole experience. It was something we went through as a family…parts were good, parts were bad, but I prefer to keep it all in there together in my mind.

I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about him. I may think about him several times in one day, but then not think about him again for a couple of weeks. When I do think about him, it’s usually to say a quick prayer that he is healthy, happy and loved and then my mind wanders to curiosity……These are all things I’ve thought about over the year. Not all at one time obviously but different thoughts sneak up on me at different times.

What does he look like? He was a mixed race so what different traits show in his features? Does he have dark hair and eyes? Is his hair curly or did is stay straight like it was in his hospital picture?

How big is he? He would’ve been the biggest of my parent’s grandchildren to this point. Would he still be the biggest? How does he compare to Lawson’s size now?

What are his accomplishments? Can he walk? What words can he say? How many teeth does he have? Is he doing a lot of the things Lawson is doing right now

What does he like to do? Is he into cars, tractors and anything with wheels like Cade was at that age? Or is he more interested in sports? Does he like to play ball?

Is he well loved by his family? Were they able to adopt him so he’s not a casualty of the foster care system?

Then sometimes my mind goes to the what ifs. I try to not go here often, because it is painful, but sometimes it’s hard not to. It just happens….

What if we had brought him home? Would I be planning a big birthday party (YES!!)? Would he and Lawson be good buddies since they would’ve been 4 weeks apart? What would Cade and the baby’s relationship look like? Would Cade still be as thrilled about having a brother now that he would be mobile and into Cade’s toys? Would I still be sleep deprived and half crazy like I was for the first part of Cade’s life? What would it be like to have a baby in the house again? We are SO out of practice!

Sometimes I wonder if he’ll ever know the full story of what happened when he was born. Will he know there was another family that almost took him home? If I were to guess on that I’d say no. He’ll probably never know how so many people in our lives were praying for that little boy and his birth mom during those days. Or that some of us may still continue to pray for him. But imagine having someone you don’t have a clue about praying for you? That’s a pretty neat thought. So if you are reading this and have time, would you also say a birthday prayer for this baby who was almost our…nephew…cousin… friend…

Happy 1st Birthday Baby, wherever you are!!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines Day

Valentines Day….whoever created this ridiculous "holiday" obviously didn't have a boy in elementary. I find it to be as stressful as Christmas….except it is worse. Christmas is hectic, but at least I enjoy all of the crazy stuff with it. I don't enjoy Valentines Day. And those who say they enjoy it don't have a boy in elementary. I think I've whined about this day since he was in Kindergarten, when we had to start making boxes. I have a boy – Valentines Day is all hearts and flowers and pinkness. It is a bad combination. At least some of the pressure was off this year – Jay is in charge of box building in odd numbered grades.

We aren't even sure if/when they are having parties because we have not been in school since January 31. We could not convince Cade that there was no way he was having a party today. There hadn't been any notes sent home yet. Nothing can occur in elementary without a note! Or at the very least a list of the kids in the class. Back in the good ol' days (a/k/a the 80's) I did my own valentine's without a list…and without parental involvement. They bought the cards and got whatever food was necessary for the party. They did help with the Valentines boxes in the grades where we made our own – but we were girls. Totally different ballgame! I remember thinking about the layout of the classroom and I would mentally go up and down the rows and fill out my own cards. I also knew how many kids were in my class so I knew if I had them all. And, since we are talking about years and years ago – Sheldon still had combined classes. Not only would I have done cards for my class but also the class we were combined with – so if I was in the 3rd grade I would also have shared a room with the 4th graders. You all can pick yourself up off the floor from laughing now. Jay always makes fun of that aspect of my education.

Cade almost lost his mind yesterday about the party situation. Finally we told him we'd do the box and the cards and put them in Jay's truck. Jay would find out the party status and deliver them if they were needed. That caused us to make an emergency run to the story to purchase the cards. Then while Jay was at a church board meeting Cade and I worked on the cards. Let me tell you – lists are essential when filling out cards with a boy. I started him out by trying to get him to just write his name on the cards. I was in the middle of rolling out/baking sugar cookies and it was impossible for me to concentrate on both. Instead Cade randomly put down kids' names and his name on cards. He struggled for about 10 minutes trying to think of kids, completed 4 cards and said he needed a break. That was fine with me at that moment.

After I was done baking I took control of the cards. I didn't do myself any favors by having him work on them during America's Funniest Home Videos – one of his all time favorite shows. On a commercial I told him to think about the desk in front of Miss C's desk closest to the chalkboard (when I said that I knew I said the wrong thing but could not think of what they called them anymore). I asked him who sits there. He remembered that kid, but then couldn't remember who was next. That method was a disaster. Then I remembered I had taken a class photo at the Christmas party with my phone. I got that out and tried to name the kids. There was come crabbiness back and forth between us since I was interrupting him during his show for useless information. Finally I had a list together. On the next two commercials I made him fill out cards. That's when we developed problem #2. I didn't know how to spell some of their names and either did Cade. He has an Aaron in his class so I told him to spell it A-A-R-O-N. Cade told me that wasn't right. I told him to write it the way it should be, but he didn't know what that was. We left it with two A's. We have extra cards so we will be making corrections before the party (if it even occurs). Which a total of two or three commercial breaks is an improvement over the last few years. In Kindergarten it took us almost a week to get the cards done. With his attention span we could only do 4 or 5 a night. Huge Improvement!

By the time Jay got home from the church board meeting it was Cade's bedtime. We put him to bed and then Jay started in on the box. Cade told us what he wanted and then Jay made it happen. Yes, we are terrible parents who did the box themselves. Actually, Jay did it, I just helped with some taping. It is a cornmeal drum turned into a football. It looks pretty good for a thrown together sort of thing. To me it resembles a crayon with two ends, but I'm not complaining. It is done and it wasn't my problem.

Looking back I'm not sure Cade has ever helped with his boxes…K he was sick and asleep while I frantically put it together the night before, 1st was the rocket ship which was totally Jay, 2nd was the Indiana Jones that I finished up the day before we got the adoption call…Nope, I don't believe he has contributed much to the boxes. But that is ok. We took him to the doctor last week and he asked us about Cade and how much he contributes to the family unit. He went on to say that how we raise Cade is how Cade will raise his kids….so that means it will come full circle. Some day Cade will be sitting in the middle of the living room floor taping, cutting and pasting a box together while directing every letter written on every Valentines Card. He will get his turn eventually. I can't wait to sit back and laugh!

So far I've managed to save all of his boxes. If we have another one I think we will recycle them. There will be at least 9 years between them…no one will ever know!

Friday, February 11, 2011

I don’t even know the man that I’m living with anymore….

he's growing a beard, taking up coffee drinking and has a crazed look in his eve. This has all started in the last 9 days that he's been out of school. Today was probably the craziest I've seen him…and I got caught up in it also….

 They picked me up for lunch. I needed to get back by noon for a phone call so we ran to McDonalds. As we pulled in we had to stop because there was a bus in the way. I still remember what it was like when a bus load of kids unloaded at McDonald's, but since I graduated almost 16 years ago, it doesn't sink in as quickly as it used to. Since Jay spends a lot of time on a bus with 30+ High School kids he is well aware of the chaos that ensues when they unload at McDonalds. He reacted much quicker than I did. Instead of waiting on the bus to move he whipped the truck over into the drive-thru lane and started yelling at us to GET OUT, HURRY THEY ARE GETTING OFF THE BUS, GET ME A QUARTER POUNDER, GO GO GO. It startled me and then I looked over and saw this stubble faced guy looking quite crazed in the eyes. Obviously he was hyped up from the coffee he drank that morning. I had no choice but to hurry. I flung open my door, which got stuck in a pile of snow and I had to squeeze through it, without slipping on the slush on the running board and then step into a hard packed pile of snow and maneuver over it without slipping and falling into the drive thru lane all while trying to beat a bus load of kids who are 16-20 years younger than me to the McDonald's counter. I was using my fastest walking without running speed that I've got. I made it to the door and turned around for Cade. He wasn't behind me. He got himself caught up on the seat belt. He was still struggling with the truck door. I had to make a split second decision. Did I go back for Cade and help him across the drive thru or did I leave him to fend for himself. I made a decision that I'm not proud of – I left my child behind. Even then the first thought I had was "dang, I don't know what he wants…" But I justified leaving him with the fact that Jay was blocking the drive thru so no one could hit him. I'm usually very protective when we go in and out of our McDonald's. I will hold something of Cade…arm, hood, belt…anything I can grab because he doesn't realize how dangerous the drive thru is. And today I went off and left him standing in a place I'm terrified of and have lectured and lectured him about. Yes, I am up for Mother of the Year.

When Jay made it in to the building after parking I told him thanks for making me almost break my ankle on the snow pile. Again with the crazed look, he told me I obviously did not know what it was like when a bus load of kids unloaded at McDonald's. What is even funnier is that the kids never did fully unload. Just a handful came in to use the bathrooms. I can only imagine how ridiculous I looked flying out of the truck. Thank goodness I had on my snow boots today. They'd better be back in school on Monday. I don't think any of us can handle another day like the past 9….

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Just realized what today is…

I wrote the date on someone's closing papers and it dawned on me. We got "the call" one year ago today. It was almost exactly at this same time. I never thought I'd survive a year if we didn't get another call after that one failed and yet here I am. I survived, even though there were some times I wasn't sure. That probably explains why the three of us have been on edge the last few days. I've dealt with this before through our almost 6 years of infertility. Sometimes I'll find myself crabby and just not feeling quite right and I'll realize it is a significant milestone of some sort. It's like my body knows something is up even before my mind has registered it.

Even though we are making it ok, I do wish we'd get a call. We took Cade to the doctor yesterday for a check-up. They asked us how we wanted them to code it because my insurance pays for a well child visit once a year. We told them to do it as a well child. After the nurse left the room the thought entered my mind that I should've waited on that and used it in September when we update our medical part of the home study. It wasn't a negative thought, it's just that waiting on this has become such a routine thing for us. It's hard to imagine doing anything besides waiting. It's even hard to believe that 1 year ago today I thought we were done with waiting….and yet here we still are. Most days I'm ok with waiting on God's timing, but there are some times when it gets really hard.

Day #8

I think yesterdY went much better for Jay and Cade. When I got home they were both in much better moods and our evening was mostly normal. Maybe the impending snow had something to do with their moods Tuesday
night?? Jay introduced Cade to a new website I think it will help all of us. He can read about every team and player to his little hearts content. I think he wants to go to the school today so he can use their Internet. That suits Jay just fine.

Things should start improving after today. A week from yesterday our high temp will be 64...which sure beats my car reading this morning of -12!!!

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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Day #7

Today is Day #7 of no school. I believe it makes 11 days total since January. My boys are about to loose their minds. It is the law of the universe that siblings must fight on snow days, especially when those days drag on for almost two weeks. The problem in our house is that Cade doesn't have a sibling to fight with. No brother or sister to pick on to relieve some of his pent up frustrations. And don't think that they grow out of that just because they are pushing 34 years old. We have the perfect storm brewing in our household….Jay and Cade are getting on each others nerves.

Yesterday I got a text before 9 am. Cade was already wearing Jay out with various football facts and questions. He wanted to know the worst teams, the best teams, had Heinz Ward (Steelers player) put on weight because he thought it looked like he had, was Auburn the best college team, was Arizona any good, etc. In the afternoon I got another text – Jay was playing NFLopoly circa 1994 with Cade.

By the time I got home last night I was tired. I ate a very late lunch so I wasn't hungry and they weren't satisfied with what I told them I was willing to prepare for dinner. We drove to Subway. On the way there Cade started using a British accent. We got him a WWII Wii game for Christmas so he was repeating the phrases the RAF pilots used so he could work on this new way of speaking. I asked Jay if we had a Will (guy from church who can imitate almost any voice) in the backseat. Jay said "I think he sounds more like Rickey Repeat". Apparently this was not the first time Cade had worked on his accent that day.

At Subway I sat down and let the two of them battle it out while they were ordering. Cade came over to the table and I could tell he was ticked. He had two little red spots on his checks and he threw himself in the booth. He told me he was mad at his dad because Jay ordered him the wrong sandwich because he couldn't hear what he wanted. And Jay didn't hear him when Cade said he wanted it cooked (toasted). At that exact moment my phone buzzed with a text from Jay, who was standing 5 ft away from me. He was irritated with Cade because he whispered when Jay was trying to find out what he wanted to eat. I about lost it.

When we finally got home everyone separated for a few minutes. Then we got the phone call that confirmed they would be out for day #7. Cade looked like he might cry when I told him the news. Jay didn't look much better. We rented a movie so a little later the three of us sat down to watch it. I was on the couch, Jay was in the recliner and Cade was on the loveseat. Cade walked over to sit with me and he had to walk in front of Jay. I can't describe it, but the way Cade looked at Jay and tossed his head I thought he gave Jay a dirty look. I said something about it and Cade whispered "maybe" as he was snuggling down beside me. That's when I decided we needed to call Memo. The two of them needed a break from each other. Unfortunately that didn't work out because we woke up to more snow this morning. Cade put his head down and cried when we told him he had to spend another day with Jay.

They have got to get back to a normal routine. I think they spent some time in separate rooms this morning. Then they went to the school for awhile. I saw on Facebook that there is no school again tomorrow. If that is true it will make day #8. I had a customer come in yesterday who knows us pretty well. His first question was if the snow days were creating a little too much one on one time for Jay and Cade. Since his wife worked and he farmed and they had two daughters I'm sure he can sympathize with Jay. He would've been the parent home with them when it snowed. Jay should give him a call. Maybe he'd have some good coping techniques….

Monday, February 7, 2011

Going on Day 6...

Of no school. It is time for things to get back to normal.
Jay is getting frustrated and Cade is starting get a glazed over look in his eyes. How many days can a boy be cooped up without going crazy? Jay has been going to school every day which has created a lot of one on one time together. I think it is safe to say that Jay is not going to be a stay at home dad any time soon.

Cade has even started Picking out his own clothes. Since he really isn't going anywhere (except to school and out for lunch everyday) we aren't saying anything. We are picking our battles...

I've got to quit being so efficient on getting the laundry done. Friday he layered this green John Deere shirt under an Arkansas football jersey that is getting too small. He then put a burgandy hoodie on over the whole thing. Today it was the same green shirt under a navy and orange
shirt. I may not do a load with that shirt in it for awhile...or whoops it may fall behind the basket and I won't see I for a
couple of weeks.

Jay has decided to not
shave until he goes back to school. But he doesn't look like you'd expect. For some reason he can't grow facial hair very well. It is a weird thing. So I'm looking at Cade in unmatched clothes and Jay with scraggly patches on his face. Yes, it is time to get back to normal!!!

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Sunday, February 6, 2011

Super Bowl Sunday

Update #2 Cade did not care for the Black Eyed Peas. Actually I didn't either. It felt like it was all over the place...Slash...Usher...but it did provide the quote of the night. Said by Cade in reference to Fergie-That girl looks really pretty but her costume is so last year.

Update #1 Jay won our bet on how long he'd actually sit still and watch the game. Didn't last
through the 2nd quarter.

This fall Cade has really got into football. It has been quite humorous, especially during Razorback games. It was definitely monkey see monkey do. If Jay yelled, Cade yelled. Then Cade discovered the NFL. He has wore us out with different football trivia over the last few months. One of our newest games we play while driving is "Guess the NFL Team". One of us has to describe a helmet and the other two have to guess the team. I'm usually at a serious disadvantage.

It amuses me because I've never thought Jay was that into pro football. He likes the Chiefs, but our lives don't come to a screeching halt on Sundays during the fall like they do on Saturdays. Cade talks alot about the Chiefs and his 2nd favorite team, the Patriots. And any other football things he can think of. I'm learning more about football than I ever cared to. Sometime I don't have a choice but to listen - like when we are in the car. I even think Cade is wearing Jay down with the football talk. I guess we did well when we named Cade after my grandpa. He would be proud of Cade's obsession.

So even though our household is not Steelers or Packers fans Cade was super excited for today. Since Miller was still snowed in we did not have church. It was a long day with him asking every so often how much longer. We did venture out to buy him some snacks for the game. You can't watch the
Biggest game of the year without food! I thought I'd surprise him and set it out like I do when we have people over. Apparantly he expected it because he yelled into the kitchen to see if I had the food set up yet. Such a man in training!

Jay grilled the burgers. He was about a foot taller due to the snow.

Here he is in front of his food layout. And what is a picture of Cade anymore without him being in a dorky pose?

Jay and Cade have a bet going on. Cade is for the Packers and Jay is for the Steelers. The looser has to make the others bed for a week. Uhm....if Cade wins he is not going to see much of a difference in his life. We already make his bed...

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Friday, February 4, 2011

Somebody is always watching...

Poor Jay.  You know how when you do something silly, like trip and fall down, your first instinct is to look around to see if anyone saw what happened.  Yesterday, after being stuck in the house together for 2 days, Jay delivered me to work and then he and Cade traveled to Miller.  From what he has told me things were a lot worse there then what we got.  Funny how there can be such a difference in snow amounts in a distance less than 10 miles.  The school parking lots were not in good shape.  They got stuck twice.  Both times he was able to get himself out.  But not without a lot of yelling - which didn't come from me.  I believe I've passed on my back seat driving tendencies to Cade.  From what Jay described, Cade did me proud.  When Jay gunned it to about 40 mph to unstick himself Cade had a look of terror on his face and screamed "I told you not to do that".  That's my boy!  The snow was as deep as Cade was tall in some areas.  I'm not sure how Jay managed to get him in the school - I'd probably just as soon not know.  I'm just glad I was at work when all of this took place.  Jay told me all about this yesterday when he picked me up from work and we laughed about it.  Then last night this picture appeared on Facebook.  One of Jay's former students saw Jay in this pickle and took a picture for the world to see.  So now matter how much you hope someone didn't see you do something stupid - they did!  And thanks to modern technology even more people can see it.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Did we fly to Russia?

No, it is just Jay measuring our 10+ inches of snow in his Russian hat.

Poor Charlie could hardly walk inte snow. I don't think he is much taller than 10 inches.

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Our Weekend

Saturday was absolutely beautiful.  There was one time I looked at my car and it was reading 70 degrees.  I was driving around Springfield with my window down.  It was a great day!

I spent Saturday going to Springfield and spending about an hour and a half of my life at an enormous yard sale at the fairgrounds.  I've had some decorating ideas that I wanted some cheap frames for so I thought that would be a good place to go.  So did half of the county.  It was busy.  I did overhear some comments that made me smile.  One was from a lady pushing a stroller to another lady in her group - I do not know why we continue to do this to ourselves!  That one really made me laugh because many, many a time have I said that to myself when Cade was little.  That is also what runs through my head every time we go to Silver Dollar City for Christmas.  The other comment was a husband to his wife as they were exiting the event right behind me - You could not pay me a $100 to back in there.  I felt the same way.  But I did leave with 8 frames and 2 glass dishes for less than $20.  After leaving the yard sale I headed to Hobby Lobby to purchase the rest of the stuff I needed for my projects.  I tend to handle stressful events with completeing a project - the adoption loss last year netted me some new curtains and and newly decorated spare room.  This time I'm doing stuff for the kitchen and a new theme for our mantel and a birthday idea for my mom.  I spent a lot of time in HL Saturday.  Then I got groceries and hurried home so I could spray paint everything before it cooled off since Saturday was the only day that had been warm enough and would be warm enough in the foreseeable future for me to use spray paint.  

When I got home I hurridly pulled in the driveway and started unloading groceries.  It was 4:30 and the sun would quickly be going down.  I saw the air was a little smokey, but Jay is a fire bug.  He's always burning something so I didn't think much about it.  My plan was to carry everything in and only put away the cold stuff.  I'd get the rest later because I didn't want to waste the warmer weather.  I got in the house and Cade was inside.  I told him it was nice and he should be outside playing.  This again was one of those times I didn't take the time to really register what he said to me...he said that he wanted to play in the woods but since it burnt up he couldn't.  I just shrugged it off because I had painting to do.

Typical of a lot of my projects the vision I had isn't going to work.  Four of the frames are too big, which I discovered after painting them yellow.  The paint I was using on the ones for mom's present quit working after I had used a 1/4 of the can.  That's what I get for buying cheaper spray paint - I will never do that again.  The dishes I bought don't look right where I wanted to use them.  I think 3/4 of what I got at HL will be returned.  I thought I'd be able to go back to HL and buy better paint for mom's project on Wednesday after my gum appointment, but I don't know if that is going to happen now with the weather.  Mom might get her present sometime in April when it warms up and I can spray paint freely.  So all that was going through my head while I was in the garage smelling smoke...

Cade finally came outside and he and Jay played football then he rode his bike.  Cross our fingers but I think Cade finally mastered bike riding. I've decided Cade isn't slow - he is just stubborn.  He isn't going to do anything until he is good and ready.  Apparantly Saturday, January 29, 2011 he decided he was good and ready to learn how to ride a bike.  A bike that I believe we bought him in 2007 for his 6th birthday.

So that night Jay tells me he is tired and goes over his day...
He went to his parents and borrowed the donkey's so he could start breaking Cade's new show heifer.  True to their nature the donkey's didn't want to load/unload so that was physically exhausting.  Then the heifer was extremely stubborn and he had to physically deal with that.  I think Jewels kept flopping over or something like that.   Then he played football and worked with Cade on riding his bike - But none of it had to do with the fact that he caught the woods on fire and our neighbors had to help him.  WHAT???

I guess he felt the need to burn some feed sacks (he is such a fire bug!) and the fire got away from him.  We haven't burnt the woods off for a couple of years because he is trying to control the ragweed.  With two years worth of dead leaves on the ground the sack fire got out of control quickly.  One of our neighbors spotted it and called two other neighbors.  Finally the 4 of them managed to get it under control.  I think Jay's decided that ragweed is better than a fire hazard so as soon as this weeks snow melts I think he's going to burn off the woods.  If you'll remember this is the 2nd time we've had a fire on our place.  But at least this time the fire department didn't have to be called.  After Jay told me all that I remembered Cade's comment about wanting to play in the woods but couldn't because it had burnt up.  That explained it.  Oh, and the fire burnt Charlie's dog house but unfortunately it didn't get the hog house that is in the woods.  Jay told the neighbors that I was really proud of the hog house so he was glad they saved it.  Sometimes I wonder when I lost control of my life and turn into Old McDonald's wife? I'm sure your all jealous!!!  Especially when you find out that the next time he ties the donkey to the heifer I have to help.  Can't wait for that bit of fun.

What a weekend!  Seventy degrees Saturday and tonight we are expecting a huge ice/snow storm.  Only in the midwest can you use your heat and your AC in the same 24 hour time span.