I wrote the date on someone's closing papers and it dawned on me. We got "the call" one year ago today. It was almost exactly at this same time. I never thought I'd survive a year if we didn't get another call after that one failed and yet here I am. I survived, even though there were some times I wasn't sure. That probably explains why the three of us have been on edge the last few days. I've dealt with this before through our almost 6 years of infertility. Sometimes I'll find myself crabby and just not feeling quite right and I'll realize it is a significant milestone of some sort. It's like my body knows something is up even before my mind has registered it.
Even though we are making it ok, I do wish we'd get a call. We took Cade to the doctor yesterday for a check-up. They asked us how we wanted them to code it because my insurance pays for a well child visit once a year. We told them to do it as a well child. After the nurse left the room the thought entered my mind that I should've waited on that and used it in September when we update our medical part of the home study. It wasn't a negative thought, it's just that waiting on this has become such a routine thing for us. It's hard to imagine doing anything besides waiting. It's even hard to believe that 1 year ago today I thought we were done with waiting….and yet here we still are. Most days I'm ok with waiting on God's timing, but there are some times when it gets really hard.
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