Friday, September 28, 2007

Profile is.....

pretty much done.

I finished it up last night. At work all day yesterday I kept thinking that I needed to go home and do laundry and clean the house. Once I got home I felt this urgency to work on the profile. So my house is a wreck, but I got the profile almost done. I worked on it all last night (except during CSI, which I had to watch). I printed off a black and white copy today to proofread, which I've already found a few things I want to change. I think, if everything goes ok with the pictures I need this weekend, I should have a copy to our Social Worker sometime next week.

Last night J wasn't feeling good. I finally asked him if I needed to call Dake (the local vet) to put him down. He was limping around pretty bad, it's a good thing he's not a horse.... I don't think he appreciated it much because I wasn't being very sympathetic. The poor guy did go to the doctor Wednesday with a whole list of issues. He also is driving a bus this afternoon so not only will the bus be directed by a bunch a little kids, the driver is plagued with a rash (unidentifiable by the doctor), stomach problems, leg/hip/back pain, and two ingrown toenails, but rest assured he did pass the Bus Drivers Physical that day. Can you tell J doesn't like to go the doctor unless he's got more than one illness. I asked if the doctor charged him double for the office visit. Maybe I should leave early so I can pick C up from school rather than letting him ride the bus....

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

If You're Looking for Something to do....

Go to

This is our agency's website. If you look on the right side of the page there is a blue box that says Family Profiles. If you click on that you will be able to view the Dear Birthparent letters of families waiting to adopt. If you've never read one of those letters or have never looked at an adoption agency's website you should go look at it. Bethany does more than just the kind of adoption that we are doing. They offer extensive counseling to the birthparents before and after the adoption. They have an infertility ministry called Stepping Stones. They do embryo adoptions. They do international adoptions. They will be there for the families that adopt through them for as long as they are needed. They are a Christian agency that you can tell care about everyone that they work with. They're not just there to collect their fee and forget about us.

We've been working on our Dear Birthparent letter the last few days. In those you try to cram as much information as possible hoping you will say something that will make the birthparents remember you and want to look at your profile. I've looked at some of the other letters and pictures of couples wanting to adopt and it's easy to try and compare ourselves to them. Sometimes we forget that this isn't a competition. We aren't trying to out do each other, we all have different qualities that would make us good parents. By the time you get to this point in the adoption journey, everyone will make good parents. You don't go through all this unless you really, really want a child. I encourage you to read some of the letters from the other couples to see how even though we are all different, we all wanting the same thing. Also, notice the respect and concern that is shown to the birthparents in these letters. That is high importance in all the letters and I really believe that the families aren't just saying it.

Our pictures and letter isn't there yet, but I will let you all know when it is.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

As Promised....

A trip down Memory Lane

Here are a few pictures I found while working on the profile. The only one that made the cut is the one of J and me together, but they are still fun to look at. There were more Party Pics that I would've liked to have posted, but they probably aren't appropriate for my blog and so you know they definitely didn't make the cut for the profile. We had some fun times didn't we!

Why am I standing like such a dork in my shower picture????

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Happy Birthday Mamma

Edited Monday afternoon to add pictures of Saturday at the bottom of post

Today would've been Mamma's 83rd Birthday. She's been gone for 5 months, but I still miss her. The night of our homestudy I was going over my list of people I called. I called Mom, I called Dad, I called Charity and then I thought I need to call Mamma and then I realized what I had thought. Mamma always was there for every major or minor event in our lives. She was at every ballgame and every school activity. She went with mom to buy our first Easter and Christmas dresses. She went with us when we bought our prom dresses. She was there when we bought our wedding dresses. When J and I bought our first house she was there helping us by waiting on the people who laid our carpet. She and Pampa even drove to the hospital when we had C, drove home early that morning after he was born, and drove back the next day. I've been having a hard time lately because this adoption is another major event in my life and neither of my grandma's are here to share in it with us. For 30 years Mamma was always there and it's hard getting used to the fact that now she's not.

To celebrate Mamma's birthday, Mom, Pampa, Charity, Avery, and C and I visited Mamma's grave. I had not been there since the funeral. We also stayed in town and took C to the Fort. He's been so obsessed with the Civil War lately, so he had a great time. We were finally able to find him a Civil War hat so he was happy. We also took a trolley ride around town before we came home. We had a good day, it's been a long time since we had been to the Fort. It was pretty much the type of day Mamma and Pampa had taken us on several times while Charity and I were growing up. That evening we went to Pampa's house and Mom fixed dinner. It was a celebration that Mamma would've loved. I thought it was a very fitting way to spend her birthday.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Home Study is Approved!!!

It's not that we were really too worried about it, but it's nice to know we are approved. As soon as our agency receives our check, they will mail us a copy of the home study. J and I are both interested in reading what the home study has to say. Neither of us really have any idea what topics they cover in those, so that should be very interesting. I'm still working on the profile. Last night I was digging through some old pictures, trying to find one of me in high school, but all I could find were from college. Be watching next week, we may have a trip down Memory Lane. Anyone remember Party Pics???

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Adventures in Bus Driving - Take 2

J had to substitute drive again this afternoon. He got on the bus and there were two high school kids. One is in the regular classes, the other one is a little slower. J asked if anyone knew where he needed to go, the high school girl said that she did, but she was the third stop. After she got off the bus the other high school kid tried to help, but all he could say was turn that way. He didn't know his left from his right. When he got off the bus J asked if there was anyone over the age of 10 on the bus, no one raised their hand. He asked the oldest kid to come up to the front. When he got there J asked him how old he was, he was 9 (but J said he had the BO of a 40 year old). J had to rely on a 9 year old to get him around. He started telling J, you turn this way then you turn that way then you turn this way again. J called me to let me listen to the directions that he was getting. I heard the boy say something about turning by the black mailbox. When he got off the bus, J then had to rely on a 7 year old to finish the route. The kid couldn't tell him where he lived, just that he needed to go "that way". The 7 year old directed J from one side of the district to the other. One thing to remember is that our district is the 2nd largest district in the state. It stretches across the entire northern half of the county. The 7 year old told him he needed to turn at the patch of grass in the road, which actually was a Y, with grass growing in the center. Once he finally got the kids dropped off and was almost back the school, he turned the corner and C fell out of the seat head over heels. J said he got up rubbing his head. At least it was our kid and not someone elses. Doesn't this give you that have kids riding a bus a comforting feeling knowing that their bus driver may not have any idea how to get them home? The next time you're behind a bus that seems to be going too slow, don't get too mad at them. It may be that a 7 year old is the one directing it.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Happy Birthday Nana

Well Nana this is my first post on the blog. Anyway I just wanted to say Happy Birthday. We just wanted to say thank you for everything that you have done for us over the years. we truly do appreciate everything. Maybe by your next birthday we will have a baby for you. Love You J C C

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

No News on the Home Study Yet...

I know that our agency has the home study, because we got the bill for it, but we haven't heard anything yet. Our old social worker, Danielle, left at the end of August so our new social worker is Ivy. I finally e-mailed Ivy yesterday to find out the status of the home study and the person who will review it has been out for a few days. She will be back in the office tomorrow so we should know something by the end of this week or the first of next week. I'm ready to get that approved and get our family profiles done. I've been working on the big profile, but since I'm a perfectionist, it is going a little slow. Trying to think of the right words and find the right pictures to use has been very challenging. It's hard because when it comes down to it we're trying to market ourselves as people, ourselves as parents and our family. We're trying to find pictures that say "really, you can trust us with your child, we haven't done too much damage to the one we already have...." along with putting it with a wording that sounds open and honest. I'm having a hard time trying to convey onto paper what we feel about adoption. Then it doesn't help when I think I'm done with a page, but then the next day I think of something that would make it even better so I end of messing with the same page again. I'm getting closer to having it done to where we can print it out, but then more editing will take place. I can't ever leave anything alone, there will still always be a way to make it better. Think about your own life and all the things you've experienced and then try to fit it into a few pages along with a few pictures to have someone look at and judge you by what they read and see. I also try not to think about this very often, but think of all the people who have read our home study and know what someone else feels about us people and as parents. It's one thing to have performance reviews at a job, but it's a totally different thing to have one of your life. There is a line from the paperwork the agency sent for the profile that says to relax, God already knows the your match. I keep remembering this line, because it's true. No matter what the profile looks like, there will be someone out there eventually who will like us and God already knows how the whole plan will unfold. This profile will be a neat thing to give to our baby along with the rest of the stuff in the adoption notebook to show them how much we wanted them. But then I feel bad for C, because he doesn't have a notebook. Surprises don't generally come with notebooks and family profiles.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

A Tale from the Kindergarten Diaries

Last night we got to go to the football game together for a change. Normally the FFA runs the concession stand so J's there way before the game to way after the game. Last night they let the Booster Club have it for the evening so J and Lyle got a night off. After the game J talked to Mrs J, who comes into C's class at the end of the day to help with calendar time. Calendar time is where they talk about the days of the week, the months, weather, birthdays, etc. It must be working because C doesn't hesitate when you ask him his birthday. On the way home J told C that Mrs J said he was a very good listener at calendar time. That seemed to open the floodgates on some pent up feelings about kindergarten. Normally we can't get C to tell us much about his day, only that it was fine and he didn't loose a stick. He started telling us how boring he thinks school is and how much he doesn't like it. Rest time was really long that day and that was boring. I asked him what else he didn't like about school and he said Math, Writing and how sweaty he gets at recess. All the kids get sweaty and he just doesn't like it. I asked him if he had ever been the line leader and he said no, Mrs L never picks him and if he tries to get in the front of the line she makes him get in the back.
Then he said "Daddy, you'd hate my school, it's so boring". He said J wouldn't like it because they have to trace letters and it's so boring. J said that he used to be in kindergarten and had to trace letters. C said "I wish I was a teacher so I wouldn't have to trace letters". J told him that Mrs L used to have to trace letters and C said "No she doesn't!" I asked him if there was anything that he liked about school and he likes riding the bus, reading time and calendar time. Since his bus riding time is only about 5 minutes, unless J is driving, and this will probably be the only year he has calendar time, Reading is the only thing we have going for us. I wish I had a recording of his little voice venting his frustrations to us last night. It was dark in the truck so I couldn't see his expressions, which is probably just as well. We had a hard enough time not laughing as it was, seeing his expressions would've made it worse. I know school has been a shock to him because all of the times he had been at school before, he was in the High School. What C sees in the Ag classrooms are trailers being built and meat being cut. There are no letters to trace in daddy's room. We still have a long time to go until C can build a trailer. Considering it's September and C still hasn't gone a full week of school (they've had several early outs) we are in for a long 13 years.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Something New

I found this website on another blog and thought I'd try it. I borrowed a CD today that mom had made from her camera so I thought I'd use it. The majority of the pictures are of my two favorite little ones. Some of the pictures of Avery are when she was only about 6 months old. She's changed a lot since then.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Adventures in Bus Driving

And the Great Santa Claus Debate

Because the school is short on bus drivers J has been filling in a few times a week since school started. Actually he ended up driving several mornings in a row, which meant he and C had to leave our house by about 6:15 each morning. I would love to be a fly on the wall of that bus, especially since C is one of the kids on the bus. The first morning they ended up with two other kindergartners on the bus so the 3 of them karate chopped each other through the entire route. J finally had to stop the bus and get on to C, C said "my dad's a teacher, we better listen to him". As C looses his seat partners in the evenings he'll stand up and yell to the back of the bus "who's gonna sit with me now?" On Monday J had to drive both routes, so when he got on the bus in the evening he realized C wasn't on the bus. He had to radio around to figure out which bus he was on and tell that driver to send him to J's bus when they got to the high school. I really don't know how C found the bus. I keep imagining this big rush of HS kids trying to get on the bus while he was trying to get off and find his dad. J said it was fine, but I'm sure there's more to the story than that. I have a feeling that over the next 13 years there will be a lot of things that I'll never hear the full story, only the condensed version of "he's fine".

Tuesday morning J called me on my way to work to tell me he thought C had learned the truth about Santa in the front seat of the bus that morning. He said C and the two other Kindergartners were debating it. Of course it made me sad, I thought we might have one more Christmas, so I told J to try and divert their attention elsewhere. C came up to J and asked if Santa was real, and like any good parent being faced with that question, he lied. I know there is a lot of debate about lying to your kids about Santa because then they'll doubt you on other more important things like the existence of God, but we did it anyway. I think we'll be able to repair the damage. Later that evening C wanted hot chocolate and he and I were snuggling in our bed watching the History Channel. I didn't know if I wanted to put it in one of my regular mugs because I was afraid he might spill it. I have a tall Christmas mug with a matching plate that we use for Santa so I got it out. I asked C if he wanted to use the big Christmas mug. He said (with his little nose turned up) "Nah, Santa's had his mouth all over that." I told him I'd washed it since then, but it still seemed to gross him out. Unless another debate starts at school we may be safe for another year.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Today is September 11, 2007

6 years ago today is a day none of us will ever forget. For those my grandparents age it is one of three days, for those my parents age it is one of two days, so far for my generation and younger it's the only day we remember. People still talk about where they were when they found out about Pearl Harbor or when Kennedy was assinated. This day will be no different for those who lived through it. I remember that day very clearly. I was one day away from reaching the 13 week goal of pregnancy. In one more day I would officially be past the first trimister into the "easier" part of pregnancy. The fear of miscarriage would've been behind me, the rest of the pregnancy should've been anxiety free. I was sitting at my desk that day when Mom called. She asked if I knew what was going on, I didn't have the radio on in my office that day. I think by the time I found out what was going on the first tower had already fallen. Do you remember the feeling of confusion? Do you remember the horror of seeing the chaos and fear on the faces of those running from the falling buildings? Did you just want to go home and hug your family? Were you completely terrified because you didn't know what would happen next? Do you remember waiting to see if all the planes were finally accounted for that day? Do you remember how that day and for the next several days the sky was so clear and bright?, it made it hard to imagine that something that terrible had just happened.

I think being pregnant brought this day into a whole new light for me, even more so than what J was feeling. I was terrified because I had no idea what our life would be like by March. What kind of situation would I be bringing my child into? For the next nine months my heart went out to those who gave birth to babies that would never know their daddies. For those who went through labor without their spouse and felt the greatest joy ever imaginable mixed with the greatest sorrow imaginable. For those children already born who lost their parents, I can't even begin to imagine what that was like, and still is like to this day.

The other thing I think about often is that C won't ever have the complete innocence that we knew. He already knows what happened that day, he even asked this weekend if he was born when it happened. We even invaded Iraq within a day or two of his first birthday, so that was in the back of my mind in the days leading up to C's party. I tried expressing this to J at the time of C's birthday and I think he thought I was worrying too much. It's not that I sit up at night worrying about this, but it does makes me a little sad. As a mother, our first instinct is to protect our children and guard their innocence. We want to shield them from every bad thing for as long as we can. It makes me sad because I feel like I never even got the chance to protect him.

I remember during the 2004 election during a debate between Senator Kerry and President Bush, Kerry made a comment about the amount of time President Bush continued to sit with those school children after he knew about the attacks. I don't focus on politics quite as much as J, but from what I remember Kerry had even timed it to so many minutes and so many seconds. He said that if he had been President he would've told those kids "I'm sorry boys and girls but the President has a job to do" or something to that effect. Of course that got a round of applause from all his supporters. I remember that infuriating me beyond belief when I heard it. Hindsight is 20/20 - of course you could say that now, but what if he really had been President at the time. How can you even begin to imagine what you would've done while faced with the greatest attack on American soil since Pearl Harbor knowing there were millions of Americans looking to you for guidence. I know part of it the President had to be trying to wrap his mind around what just happened, just like we all were. But I also like to think maybe he was trying to protect the innocence of those school children for just a few more minutes. He may be President, but he is also a father and what parent out there doesn't want to hold onto their children's innocence for a few more seconds. Maybe he knew that he could no longer protect America, the worst imaginable thing had already happened, but he knew he could protect those children for just a little longer.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Home Study is Done!!!!

When we had first talked with Danielle, our social worker from the agency, she said Pam would meet with us three times and then it would take about 3 weeks to get the report written. We would also need to have so many fire extinguishers and smoke detectors and a plan for child proofing the house. When Pam got there last night she asked to see the house, so I took her on a quick tour, she didn't even look in closets and then we sat down and talked. She was there for almost 2 hours last night and we think things went really well. She said we had done such a good job answering our initial questions that she really didn't have much to ask. I do remember her specifically asking us why we chose our agency, what finally made us decide on adoption, and how much C knew about adoption. She also talked to us about our level of openness for a legal risk placement. When we first sent in our paperwork we were not at all interested in that, but once we went to the training last month we had changed our views so we made those changes last night. The rest of the evening was more or less just talking. She had also experienced infertility and is now on the "other side" where you can see how much it made you grow. She said last night that while she was walking the infertility path she would have traded it in a second, but now she wouldn't. That's a good way of putting it. If we had a baby when we first wanted one there are a lot of things we would've missed out on that we've experienced the last two years - good and bad.

C handled himself pretty well last night, until the end of the evening. He wanted Pam to see his Gator so we walked out through our garage and then stood outside and talked for a few minutes. For some reason C picked up a T-Ball bat and hit our truck with it. He's never done anything like that before, it was quite a surprise. J took the bat from him and Pam laughed and so did we, but what came over him? I'm sure we'll be laughing about this for years to come - Hey C remember the time a SW came to make sure we were fit parents and you hit the truck with a bat?

When she left last night she said she'd have the report to the agency in 5 days and she'd call us if she had any questions while she was writing the report. I guess we are done. I thought I'd have most of September to get our profiles done so I'm going to be a little behind on that. I'm hoping by the first part of October we will officially be waiting.

Since the house was all clean I decided to take the pictures for our family profile. I don't know if I'll use the one of our bedroom, but I wanted to use one of C's. I don't know what our plans are for decorating a baby room, neither of us are in a big hurry, but I want the birth family to know that there will be a special room decorated for a special baby. Hopefully she'll look at C's and realize that her baby have a special place not only in our heart but our home as well. But since I was taking pictures anyway, I took some of all the rooms so I could share them here. I don't know who else actually reads this besides my family and Leslie, so Leslie these are for you!

Front of our house

Back of our House

The room that we now call the Green Room, but will someday be the Baby's Room

C's Room - if you ever need to make conversation with my dad ask him about the red paint in C's room. I think it was the hardest thing dad has ever painted. I don't think I'll get him to volunteer to help me when I decide to re-paint C's room.

Our Bedroom

Our Bathroom

Kitchen - Looking at this picture there is a lot of wood in the kitchen. It really looks a little cluttered, but it really isn't that bad in real life, I promise!

At this point I realized something was missing, I had forgotten to take pictures of the family room. Besides the baby's room the living room could be the next important room for the birth mom considering we spend most of our time there - and I forgot to take a picture. I'll post one once I get it taken.

Yesterday I posted that I felt like I was "fooling" the SW because of our house being so clean. I knew I shouldn't have worried, by the time she left C had taken care of the problem for me. This is how our living room floor typically looks, except this is even a little mild.

Have a good weekend!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Really Getting Started Today.....

because tonight is our first Home Study Interview.

I think after tonight we'll really feel like we're getting somewhere, even though it could still take another 3 years to finally make it there. I'm not really sure what to expect tonight, Pam didn't really say much except she wanted C to be there. I'm guessing tonight will be more of a "get to know us" type meeting and then layout what she wants/expects when we meet again. Our house is in perfect order (or at least is was when I left, hopefully C won't do too much damage in an hour this afternoon???). I almost feel like we're "fooling" her, our house doesn't normally look this perfect on a Thursday, or any other day of the week. It's not that we don't try and keep it clean, but things have been hectic this summer. I told J this morning that I think this is the first time the entire house has been clean at the same time since we left for vacation. I've only had time to do a room here and there so it's nice to finally have the whole thing clean again. I probably threw our shower into shock last night because I had cleaned it Sunday and then I cleaned it again last night. It hasn't gotten that much attention in ages! I'll update the blog first thing tomorrow morning with how the Home Study goes tonight. I asked C this morning what he was going to say if Pam asked him if we wanted to adopt a brother or sister and C said he only wanted a brother. Hopefully that's not a strike against us already!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

It's 2:00 a.m. and Guess What....

I'm up scratching again. The Hives are driving me nuts. According to the info sheet they gave me in Urgent Care I could have these for up to two weeks. No telling how many early morning posts I may do before those two weeks are up. Since I'm awake anyway I thought I'd update you on how the sale went and tell you about how J and I were terrible parents to our boy yesterday.

I'll admit that there have been times we've left in a hurry in the mornings and as soon as we pull out of the driveway I'll realize that I have forgotten to feed C breakfast. I'm especially bad about this on Sunday's because a lot of times he doesn't wake up until almost time to get ready and then we're in such a hurry I forget. Luckily Cheryl gives the kids crackers and juice during Sunday School so it's not like we've completely starved him...until yesterday....I did have my wits about me enough yesterday morning to give C some waffles, but then I had to get ready so I'm not sure how much of them he actually ate. Once we got to the sale he took off with the other kids and I have to admit it was a relief. It's pretty nice now that he's old enough to turn loose, especially in a safe environment like yesterday. He ran wild with the other kids and had a great time. At one point I saw him with a can of Root Beer and I asked him where he got it, he told Papa Kerry that he was thirsty so Papa bought him a drink. Later on I saw him with a can of Pepsi and I asked him where that came from. It was from Grandma Robyn. Then I saw him eating a bowl of ice cream which he said Aunt Janice bought for him. It was at that point I realized it was about 2:00 p.m. and we had not fed him lunch. J and I had gotten so wrapped up in the auction that we forgot to feed our child. Thank you Papa Kerry, Grandma Robyn and Aunt Janice for taking care of my child for me yesterday. Between the sale and the hives I guess I temporarily lost my mind. I do promise you that this doesn't happen often and that's really not why he's so skinny. I do feel bad because I wanted to tell Janice thank you but I got side tracked on my way over to talk to her. Yesterday was a crazy day.

I think that the sale turned out pretty good yesterday. I know that Helen, Clint, Larry, Janice, Ed and Dad have to be relieved that it's over. I know for me it was a day I've dreaded for 19 months. It was something that we knew had to happen, but it's hard to see people picking through your loved ones stuff. Especially knowing that these were things Grammy and Granddad had accumulated over almost 75 years of marriage. I was fortunate to have had all 4 of my grandparents and both parents until 3 months before my 28th birthday, then within 28 months Charity and I lost Granddad, Grammy, Mamma and the way of life we've always known. Some people have tried to comfort me by saying they were old, they're better off, at least they're not hurting now, you'll adjust etc. Yes that's true, but I still miss them and the life we grew up in. There is hardly a day that goes by that I don't think of at least one of them or the times Charity and I had growing up. I always think of Granddad outside with his roses or Grammy sitting in her kitchen or calling Mamma on my way home from work or the other constants in life Charity and I assumed would always be there. Yesterday when we first got the sale I had this overwhelming urge to just say that I wanted it all. Even though I really don't have any use for most of it, it is still stuff that I grew up with and it was hard seeing it split up, especially the things that went to complete strangers. I'm smart enough to know this was something that had to be done, but it was still hard to watch. Even though I really hadn't even seen most of this stuff in a while it was at least comforting to know that in a world where things change so fast and we're expected to move on from our grief in a matter of days there was still one place in the world that hadn't changed much since I was a baby. The tractors that all of us grandkids rode were still there. The deer statues were still there. The church pews were still in the basement. Grammy and Granddad's chairs were still in the living room. We went up there Sunday night to look over the stuff and I picked out something from their 50th Anniversary collection and C played with the tractors. It broke my heart that night to see him riding on that tractor up and down their sidewalk. If only we knew how many miles those tractors have been driven. I knew that the tractors were going to be in the sale and it was bothering me. After talking to a lot of the grandkids on Monday, I realized it was bothering all of us. None of us wanted those to go outside the family. I didn't want them, and I knew that we couldn't afford them, but in a selfish way I didn't want anyone else to have them either. I'm so glad that Charity wanted them. Her and dad went together and bought both of them. It was such a relief to all of us to see her get them. I couldn't even watch while they were bidding on those. I had my back to it and Laura told me that Charity had gotten them. Now Charity's kids and grandkids and nieces and nephews will get their own tradition of driving the tractors at her house. Once we have another baby it will get to also be part of that tradition. I think for me, and I can't speak for Charity, but I have a feeling it was more than the physical place where the tractors will now be, it was an emotional attachment. We've been through so many things in the last 33 months that we've had no control over. We've lost a lot, probably more than some of you realize, but at least the tractors were something else we didn't have to lose. I know no matter how far their stuff got scattered yesterday or how much things continue to change, it doesn't change the fact that Grammy and Granddad loved all of us as much as we loved them and in this frustrating mixed-up world that is one thing that can't be taken from us.

Monday, September 3, 2007

It's 4:30 a.m. and I'm Awake....

because I'm scratching. I'll start from the beginning of the weekend...
Friday night Mom and Pampa came to watch the first football game, which we won. We got home that night and when I got into bed I started itching. I didn't think too much of it because I was so tired. At 1:30 a.m. I woke up really itching so I got up to see what was going on and I was covered in hives. I took some Benadryl and went back to bed. Saturday morning they were still there so I took more Benadryl and passed out on the couch. I woke up around 10:30 and got ready to go into town for the Fall Festival Parade. My hives were looking better so I thought they were gone. During the parade they came back. After the parade J and Terry headed to Fayettevile because they are proud owners of Razorback Season Tickets, courtesy of Nana and Granddad. C and I went home to take a nap. When I woke up I was in really bad shape so Mom came back and took me to Urgent Care. I left there with a shot and prescreption and really scared because my blood pressure was 158/120. By the time I went to bed Saturday night the hives were gone, but when I woke up Sunday they were back. They got better during the day, but we came to Dad's last night because today is Grammy and Granddad's sale and they got worse after I was outside. I'm really wanting to go to the sale, but I don't know if I'll be able to stand being outside today or not. This week has been pretty stressful so that may be partly what is causing the hives.

Saturday morning C watched the History Channel again and they were featuring the states. When we got to Walgreens Saturday night to fill my prescription C knew that the flag flying at Lone Star across the street was the Texas flag. I asked him if he learned that from the History Channel and he said yes. Saturday night he learned about big Tsunami waves and he's decided he doesn't want to live close to where those will happen. It took me awhile to convince him that a Tsunami shouldn't affect us in the midwest. He is getting more and more like me in the way he worries about things. I think we drove Mom crazy Saturday night because I was fretting all night about my blood pressure because it's never been high. I kept asking mom if she thought it was because of the hives and the Benadryl so she kept having the reassure me. Then out of the blue C said "I hope we don't have a tornado tonight". The sky was perfectly clear. That sounds like something I would say.

Just FYI - I took my blood pressure last night at Dad's and it's pretty much back to normal. I'll still follow up with my Dr like they told me to do at Urgent Care just to make sure. Who know's if I keep this itching up I may be seeing him Tuesday.