It's Been a Year

It's been a year since we made the decision to seriously pursue adoption. Last year I spent the week between Christmas and New Years searching the Internet and calling different agencies. Over the next few weeks packets of information started showing up in our mailbox. We had reached the point where we knew we didn't want to spend another holiday feeling the way that we did the last two years. Was this year any better...yes and no. I know I wasn't nearly as sad as I was for Christmas in 2005 and 2006, but there still is that feeling of something missing. The fact that there are only 3 socks on the mantle and only putting out presents from Santa for one knowing that next year he may not even believe in Santa anymore. I also realize how blessed we are to be able to have one to do that for. There are many people struggling with Primary Infertility and Christmas is a really hard time of year for them. In some ways it's hard to believe it's already been a year, in other ways it feels like it's been about 10 years. I had always thought I'd be pregnant at Christmas 2005, that came and went but I knew that we'd still have a baby by Christmas 2006. Christmas 2006 also came and went with no changes, except knowing we were running out of options if we decided to continue along the treatment route. After 2006 I quit hoping we'd have a baby by 2007, I knew the chances were very unlikely. So now that we've passed 2007 I can't help but wonder about 2008. I'm trying really hard not to, but there is still that little part of me that hopes 2008 will be the year that's different for us.

Merry Christmas

Hope Everyone had a great Christmas. We had a lot of fun this year. Here are a few pictures from C's school party, Silver Dollar City, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

Wrong Toy

C got the wrong toy from yesterday's Happy Meal. He showed me his toy when I got home last night. I made a big deal over it, telling him how cool it looked. He gave me one of his looks where he thinks I'm the dumbest thing on the planet and informed me that he had gotten one of the bad guys. Luckily I had to go unload my car so I was able to make a quick exit before he had a chance to tell me anything else. This morning he said that he really wanted to get another black one. I have a feeling J & C are going to be eating a lot of Happy Meals over Christmas break.

More evidence that C is becoming like me - Tuesday night during the toy fiasco he said that next year for Christmas he was going to ask Santa for Bionicle toys. We told him to slow down, we haven't even gotten through this Christmas yet. Isn't that just like me - it's never to early to plan ahead!

Our Anniversary

December 18, 1999 - The day of the wedding was relatively calm for me (I'm sure mom and dad think differently). After a beautiful candlelit ceremony we drove to KC. The next day we flew to San Antonio for a week long honeymoon. It was a nice, relaxing time.....

Fast forward 8 years later and we and C's groupies (his grandparents) are sitting in the school gym for C's first school program. This program did answer some questions I had been pondering since becoming a mother - Will the bleachers be any more comfortable if I'm watching my child perform? The answer was NO. It seemed to be a really long program, but it was cute watching C. The two kids beside him were acting terrible, but he stood there just perfectly. We were really proud of him. After the program C, us and his groupies went out to eat. We had a nice time. On the way home we were telling C about our wedding day. It was a nice family moment, the evening had gone smoothly...almost too smoothly.

We pulled in the garage and I got out and opened C's door. He wouldn't get out of the car. He was looking for the hand to a stupid toy he'd gotten out of a Happy Meal that day. It was a black Bionicle toy. I'm not even sure what it was supposed to be, but C was thrilled with it. We were tired and cold so we went in the house and thought C would come in on his own shortly. I piddled around for awhile and then I walked back into the kitchen and saw that the door to the garage was open. I went to close it and saw that C was still in the car. I shut the door and told J. We each tried to get the other one to go out and get him, I finally ended up braving it. He was in the back seat of the car just distraught because he couldn't find a piece to this toy that's probably worth about 50 cents. I helped him look and it was no where to be found. I went back in the house to send J out. Eight years ago I saw J wearing a tux standing at the end of the aisle. Last night I saw him wearing a t-shirt, boxer briefs, white socks and his Razorback slippers while he was trying to drag his boy out of the car. There was all kinds of crying and carrying on last night about this toy. C wanted to drive back to the restaurant last night to find the missing part. I told him that J would take him to McDonalds this afternoon and get another toy. That's how we finally got him in the house, but that created a whole other problem. Then he was worried about which one he would get today. While we were reading to him he kept going on and on about which one he would get today. He was definitely showing symptoms of OCD about this toy. J and I were laughing so hard on the inside about this because he was so distraught.

This morning I thought that maybe he would've have forgotten about it....Not a chance. I opened up the shower to help him out and he said "I think it would be best if I got another black one". He went on and on the rest of the morning about which one he wanted (at this point I "reminded" J this was his fault - when I told him to give C a snack yesterday I didn't mean take him to McDonalds) Then while I had started typing out this post he dug the Happy Meal box out of the trash and shoved it in my face to show me which one he didn't want. Eight years ago at this moment I was on a plane flying to San Antonio - today I've got a Happy Meal box with a partially eaten hamburger stuck in my face.....but I wouldn't trade today for anything in the world.

Christmas Program at Church

I've been a little slow about updating the blog lately. We had our Christmas Program at church Sunday evening. I was the "organizer" of the little kids part of the program. That actually means I was the one in charge of "wrapping" their costumes. Thanks to Jay for helping wrap them and for Cheryl and Travis locating the boxes. The kids sang "I'm Gonna Wrap Up Myself for Christmas" It was about giving themselves to Jesus because it's the present he'd like best. They also sang "Go Tell it on the Mountain" and "O Come All Ye Faithful". C had the wrapping song down and the chorus and part of the versus to GTIOTM, but OCAYF was a struggle for him. He told me Sunday morning he didn't want to singe the sa dor e song. It took me a minute to figure out what he meant - let us adore him. The picture of the kids didn't come out very clear, but you'll get the idea behind our theme.



Tonight is his first school Christmas program. I think they're singing about penguins. That should be entertaining.



By the way - for those of you who were "lucky" enough to wear one of the 8 red dresses in our wedding, you wore them 8 years ago today. Hard to believe that it's our 8th Anniversary. Hopefully the damage I might have done to you because of the bright red dress has been forgotten! But I'm sure you were able to wear it again....ha ha ha

NEWSFLASH......

Mrs L told J that C suffers from "test anxiety" Does anyone find that surprising. J told Mrs L that he comes by it naturally so I'm guessing there was all kinds of laughing at my expense this morning. I did inform J that the anxiety comes from me, but the test anxiety is more like Charity. Mrs L wants to have C tested for the gifted program and then maybe the gifted teacher could help him with the anxiety. My question is - if he doesn't test well how will he test into the gifted program. Seems like a vicious cycle to me. All I know is that I've got a 5 year old who appears to be a bundle of nerves. If Kindergarten is this stressful how will we ever make it through college? I'm afraid we're going to need nerve pills by 1st grade. Hopefully C will develop my sense of humor so someday we can look back and laugh at this phase of his life. I just pray he grows out of it.....QUICKLY!

Welcome

We put our blog address on our Christmas Cards this year so I want to Welcome anyone that is checking in here for the first time. I was first introduced into the world of blogging almost 2 years ago. I was spending a lot of time on the Internet researching infertility and adoption. I loved reading other blogs so much that I wanted to start one for our family. The problem was I didn't have anything to write about. How much can one person read of "not pregnant, I cried again". When we started the adoption I thought "now there is finally something I can write about". I've tried to mix in feelings and education about adoption and infertility along with just happenings from our life in general. Some posts you may find totally boring, but hopefully some you'll learn from - like the posts about adoption. I hope that you will continue to keep up with what's going on here and if you or your family have a blog let me know. I'd love to read it!

Compliment from Santa

We took C to see Santa Saturday afternoon. We had to wait in line for over an hour to talk to him. C and I left J standing in line and we went to pick out a gift for C to give J. C had an idea of getting his dad Razorback socks, but we couldn't find any. Since we couldn't find those he then wanted to get J a toy race car. I was able to talk him out of that and we finally settled on something that I think J will like. It's interesting taking a 5 year old boy shopping for a Christmas present. Somehow C doesn't quite understand that not everyone has toys on their Christmas List. When we made it back to the Santa line I waited for awhile to give J a break. He needed it because we were in line in front of the most annoying couple in the world. That is always our luck. I know that sounds mean, but if you all could've seen this couple you'd understand. Especially considering we spent over an hour beside them.

When we finally got up to see Santa C stood beside him and they talked for a little while before C got on his lap. I couldn't hear everything they were talking about so who knows what C told him. Then C got on his lap and got their picture then C told him he wanted a Pirate Ship. Santa said "Thank goodness, that's something I can build, I was afraid you wanted a Wii or something." They talked for a little longer and then Santa asked C if he could have a hug. As Santa was hugging him he told C that he was very impressed with him. I realize that Santa's not real, but I have to admit it was nice to have Santa compliment our boy. We've tried to raise him the best way that we know how and I'm never sure how he comes across to others. I know he has his moments, like every child, but for the most part I do think he's pretty good. I'm glad Santa was impressed because I feel that if anyone is qualified to be an expert on child behavior it's a mall Santa.

Ok, I'm going to bore you all with pictures of our Christmas decorations. This year I am really excited about my trees. Some years they just seem prettier than others. I was trying shots with with different things on my camera so some of these pictures aren't the best. There were a lot of things about my camera I didn't know about until Wednesday night. I still can't figure out how to get a picture of the tree looking the way I want it to, but this will give you an idea of how some of the house is decorated. I do decorate the entire house, even the bathrooms. In case you're wondering - it is tasteful (at least I think so) I don't have a toilet seat cover that looks like Santa or anything like that! J loves it because he gets to carry in tub after tub of decorations!

C in front of the Christmas Tree in our family room

Trying to get a picture of the tree showing the lights, but it didn't work so well

I've always put a 2nd tree in the Green Room, but I've never been happy with it. In general I'm pretty much unhappy with that room - I just can't get it decorated to suit me. I think that mostly has to do with the fact I'm trying to turn a bedroom into another family room. I'm not using the room for what I really want to be using it for. This year we decided to try something new - we got a real tree. I finally like the tree in that room. I wanted it to look old fashioned so we strung popcorn and I made Gingerbread Men for the tree. I've been so happy with how that tree turned out this year

You can see the tree topper a little better in this picture. There is a store in town that I love. I guess you would call the style "Colonial" It's more early American than primitive. I went in the store one day last week at lunch and found the perfect topper for the tree. I decided to think about it because it was a little more than I had planned to pay. Mom called me that afternoon and told me to go buy the store and pick it up. She had bought it for me as an early gift. Thanks Mom, it goes perfectly on the tree!

Close Up of the Gingerbread Man that I made for the tree in the Green Room

And last but not least.....

My favorite part of my decorations - The Nativity Scene. I splurged in 2004 and bought this Demdaco set. I had wanted it for a long time and I thought 2004 would be my last year of having extra money because in 2005 I would be pregnant. God must've laughed the day I bought it because of what I was thinking. I don't mind, I laugh at myself everytime I put it up. Little did I know I could've bought one every year since then. I guess I might as well go ahead and buy the Wise Men!

Christmas

6For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Of all the "Christmas" verses that one is my favorite. This is the one that Ralph read at the cemetery at Granddad's funeral. It's hard to believe that it will be 3 years ago tomorrow that Granddad passed away. Ralph used Granddad's Bible at the funeral and read verses that Granddad had marked. Since his funeral was on December 10 Ralph read this verse because it was marked (I think it was written in the back of his Bible, but I can't remember for sure) and since it was Christmas time it was perfect. Every time I hear this verse I always think about Granddad. I am so thankful that I grew up with four Grandparents and two Parents who made God a priority in their lives. I am thankful that they raised me to love Christmas and everything that it means, but to always remember the real reason why we celebrate. I love that at this time of year when I hear this verse I know that it had special meaning to Granddad. I love knowing that God fulfilled the promise that he gave to Isaiah by sending a tiny baby to a stable in Bethlehem. I can't imagine celebrating Christmas and not knowing why. It really makes me sad for those who don't know. Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without celebrating the birth of Christ.

Christmas Comic Relief

I laughed and laughed the day I made this. It was a day at work that I was by myself so I was able to laugh out loud. J's is the one that gets me everytime. Just click on the link. It takes a little bit for it to open, but it should be worth it.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1151801089

Merry Christmas from Our Family!!!

Happy Birthday

Today is Sharon's Birthday. This is the picture that we used of her and C in our profile. I think it's a sweet picture of C. Memo was reading him the Christmas Story on Christmas Eve 2004. He was not quite 3 yet which is hard to believe because it doesn't seem like it was that long ago. Happy Birthday Memo, thanks for all that you do for us.



Today would also have been Grammy's birthday. I didn't have a picture of just her so I'll use this one. It's one of my favorite pictures we have because it's got all of C Grandparents and Great Grandparents in it. This was taken at C's 2nd birthday party. Happy Birthday Grammy, we miss you. Ok, guess I didn't get that picture downloaded yesterday. I'll have to add it later!