Thursday, September 27, 2012

Some Confessions....

Another post for those of you who try really hard to be perfect but of course you aren’t and then you feel bad about it.

*I have no interest in weaning Camryn from a bottle. I enjoy sitting with her when we get home and relaxing for a few moments while she takes a bottle. Jay is highly disturbed by this…especially when he saw Camryn lovingly hug her bottle when my back was turned. He said we will start the weaning process as soon as we are home from Virginia. I’m not sold on that idea yet…..

*I struggle with being a submissive wife. My ideas and ways are “better”. I am working on this…it is a daily battle.

*My house, right at this moment , is a disaster. It is so bad that I don’t want to go home tonight. Camryn and I may just drive until we run out of gas. There were so many throw pillows and toys around the end table that Camryn got tripped up and hit her head. I had to, yet again, tell Stacy she might have a bump come up during the day.

*Every day for the last week and a half I’ve wondered if today is the day Cade is going to tell me he has no clean underwear. Our laundry is so out of control I don’t even want to begin.

*I probably have the messiest closet in America. No matter how much organizing, vowing to keep it clean, giving away old stuff I do it doesn’t help. If I had unlimited funds I’d pay someone to organize it for me.

*This morning Camryn may have ate a dried up piece of macaroni left over from her Shells and Cheese meal Tuesday night. I may have turned my back and let her do it…because I was trying to get out of the house and she was quiet and not attached to my leg.

*Every day I vow I will eat no more junk. Now, as I’m typing this, I have a Coke in front of me and I’m going to have to replace my co-workers Cheez-It’s before she comes back Monday.

*I don’t read my Bible nearly enough.

*I have treasured just almost everything with Camryn- even the yucky stuff like lack of sleep and dirty diapers. But one thing I have not learned to love…or really even like is bath time. I didn’t like bath time with Cade and I still don’t like it with Camryn. My first thought on Tue/Thurs nights is not “oh Jay and Cade won’t be home with us tonight” it is “darn football practice, that means I have to bathe her again.” I usually volunteer to clean up the kitchen after dinner while Jay does the bath. He doesn’t understand my dislike for it because she is so sweet and clean afterwards. I don’t disagree that she is sweet and clean…I just want someone else to do it for me and then hand me the dried, lotioned, diapered, combed, dressed bundle of sweetness.

*I have no idea how to parent a 10 year old boy. I don’t seem to be doing much of anything right. Or maybe it is him….he goes from sweet to ticked in seconds and I may or may not have even opened my mouth. I’m truly scared of age 13 and beyond.

I’m sure there are a million other things that I could confess but these are the ones I’m currently dealing with. At least now you will know you aren’t alone.

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