Being Content

Somehow I missed my 1 year anniversary of having this blog. My first post was June 13, 2007. When I started this blog I named it the Shepherd’s flock because it was a good play on words – we are Shepherd’s, we are trying to add to our flock and we all are part of The Shepherd and His Flock

Then my tag line or subtitle was “Our journey through adoption and life in general”. At first I thought this might be some profound blog about adopting where I’d explain all of the details about adoptions…….little did I know that there’s only so much you can say unless you want to turn the blog into some huge debate on ethical adoptions or correctness in adoptions. Or saying we’re adopting, but adoption is evil because I’m stealing someone’s baby. You’d be surprised what lurks out there in the blogging world concerning adoptions. I can’t read too much of the stuff because it makes me angry for one and then it depresses me. It makes me feel like no matter what I’ll ever do, I’ll never be able to parent an adopted child. I know that’s not true, but hearing/reading so much of that stuff can really mess with your mind.

Instead I like to fill it up with things about our lives, our crazy dog, our nervous child and the fact that Jay and I love being married to each other – but sometimes we have our moments. If you’re wondering what I’m talking about just visit his comment on the “Charlie Tails” post. Now my posts aren’t so profound, but mostly just a human look into the lives of a couple trying their best to raise their one son and his dog while waiting on God for the next step for their family.

I’ve been gong through a 12 week Bible study called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. So far I’m on the 4th week, which is an accomplishment in itself. I’m notorious for starting something and not getting it finished. But I’m determined to finish this. So far it’s been about:

Philippians 4:11-13
Being content here and now, not when things change
Contentment is the state of the heart, not the state of affairs
Philippians 4:6-9
Leave everything up to God, it’s in his control. It’s the only way to have His peace
Dwell on the positive things God has given you, not the negative
Psalms 139: 13-16
Being able to thank God for the way he made you – abilities and disabilities.
Remembering God created you with a specific purpose in mind

After reflecting on this for the last few weeks I think a better subtitle for this blog would be While We Wait. Right now, for the first time in several years…maybe even ever, I can say I’m content. If we could freeze time – I’d be happy with right now. We may not have another baby yet, but I’ve reached a point where I can say ok (at least on most days), whatever you want God, you’ve created me and our future child with a specific purpose in mind – I’ll wait for you to show the path to me. We may not be rich, but God’s providing for our needs as they arise. I may not be as thin as I’d like, but I’m healthy. The list could go on and on…..

So I guess I’m announcing that I’m really working, and making some headway, on trying to be content right here, right now – While We Wait.

I just got a phone call from Jay and God’s really working on this contentment/trusting him thing. I needed new windshield wipers. Not only are the tires for this car expensive, but the wipers are outrageous. I am content with $40 wiper blades, I am content with $40 wiper blades…… It may take the rest of the day, but I’ll eventually become ok with it.