Thursday, December 20, 2012

Practical Parenting Advice

Any one who has raised a child has heard the same cliches. Although they are good advice and good things to doesn't really tell anyone the nitty gritty of what they need to know. Yes, I know he will grow up fast so I will rock them and never clean my house. I will try to nap when they nap. Yes, I know perfectly well she was more than worth the wait, etc. so after 2 awful shopping trips I thought about what I wish someone had told me. Next time I'm invited to a baby shower I'm going to print this post and slap it on the inside of the card.

Here is my big prepared to sweat more than you have at any other time in your life. Now, I'm not talking the
sweat that happens when you exercise. That is what I call an expected sweating. What I'm talking about is the kind that comes over you quickly and spreads
Throughout your entire body. Come to think of it maybe that is another sign of God's attention to detail. He gave us this sweating in motherhood so by the time we had hot flashes we would be prepared.

I noticed after having Cade I just seemed to be hot all the time. At first I thought it was hormones. Then I started suspecting it was him causing it. Then getting Camryn confirmed it. Since there is no physical reason for my core temperature
To register at molton lava levels it has to be the kids causing it.

So here are my random sweating moments the last few days....

While eating Chinese with Charity and her kids Thursday night. The kids were pretty good, they just wanted to look at the fish instead if eating. What caused the sweat was realizing there were other kids their ages sitting and eating and not wanting to circle the table. I can never decide what is the lesser of two evils...letting them circle the table or forcing them to sit and have them scream and cry. If you ever see us in a restaurant I'd ask the hostess to seat you somewhere else. We won't be offended. Jay and I might take turns sitting with you actually...

At Wal Mart while wearing a sweater in freezing temperatures. Camryn wouldn't ride in the cart so I was carrying her and Cade was pushing the cart. I can't blame this all on Camryn because Cade is an awful cart pusher. People were jumping out of our way. His driving abilities better improve the next few years. Otherwise I will never ride with him.

Friday we had to do some last minute shopping for Jay. That alone will make we sweat because I hate waiting until the last minute but it couldn't be helped this year. I sweated the whole afternoon at the mall. Camryn wouldn't ride in the stroller. What is wrong with my kids??? Neither if them will ride in strollers or carts!! We made a stop in Maurice's (yeah, that wasn't for Jay). Camryn found the jewelry and put on bracelets then I couldn't get to her because there were people in line to pay and she was weaving around their legs. Every time Cade got close she screamed. It was like circling prey. Finally I got her caught and got the bracelet removed. And she screamed like I was kidnapping her. I mumbled to myself that I was sweating. A mom heard me and snickered. She must have been a sweater to.

Then there was the moment at Penny's. Jay had met us by that point. He kept Cade and the stroller while I took Camryn. We were waiting in line to pay and she was darting all over the place. The mom/grandma behind me must have had perfect kids because she didn't seem to be amused. When it was my turn I finally got her on the Counter. Guess who ended up at the register beside us?? She really wasn't amused with us. I had to do two transactions because I had two coupons saved in my phone. I was wrestling Camryn, finding the coupons on my phone, trying to swipe my debit card, etc.
Between transactions Camryn somehow got my phone. The clerk paused for a second and said "wow, I've never seen a baby who could work and iPhone." Yup she knows how to swipe through the screens to find what she wants.

Another sweaty moment was at Mexican Villa. Camryn and tortilla chips. You can probably imagine. Most of the time I feel like we need to be leaving a 50% tip because of the mess.

Oh, and Camryn is on Zyrtec for allergies right night. That intensified her behavior about a million times. It really hypes her up and it is hard for her to nap.

So the moral of the story is this...if you have small children and also need a new winter coat don't worry about it. You can put that purchase off for at least 5 years. I've needed a new one for awhile but I realize I'd never wear it right now. I do have a somewhat heavy one that would get me buy if we were planning on vacationing in The Arctic Circle...but it is way too heavy for a Missouri winter with a toddler. So if you see me wearing a tank top while it is snowing dont think anything about it.

This to shall when it does I will miss the sweet baby and the horrible cart pusher who made me sweat...but I will not miss the actual sweating part.

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