Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Fighting in our sleep….

I wish we had a video system in our house to record what happens there during the night. I think we would sit around and laugh at ourselves night after night. Jay and I have some of our best fights when we are asleep. I'm not sure how that fits in with the Bible verse telling us to not let the sun go down on our anger…. We will wake up remembering that we were so mad at the other one during the night, but usually can't remember it fully. At least we both usually laugh over it. And Jay is a crazy, hard sleeper who talks in his sleep. I'd like to record some of the conversations I have with him. I'm usually awake, but I can't remember them when I wake up. One of the funniest stories though that I do remember happened when Cade was a new baby. I finally got to bed and Jay was snoring. I asked him to please roll over. He didn't move for a minute. I was getting ready to nudge him again when he started patting me on the back. I asked him what he was doing and he said "you told me to burp the baby". Yes, he gets really out of it when he sleeps.

The last couple of nights have been perfect examples of this. With Cade being sick everything around our house is a mess…the house itself, our sleeping habits, etc. Sometime Sunday night/Monday morning Cade got in bed with us then he started in on his horrible coughing. I got up to get him a drink to see if that would help. When I got out of bed I had this horrible pain in the center of my spine. I wondered what in the heck that was. So then I turned on the light to see what was going on. Cade's sinuses are very irritated right now and I think he had picked his nose during his sleep, which caused it to bleed. It really freaked me out to turn on our lamp and see blood on our white sheets and on his face and shirt. Besides getting him the water I also had to clean up the blood. I tried to wake Jay up because the whole blood thing worried me. He mumbled something about it being ok and then he went back to sleep. I got back into bed and worried about Cade's nose. Finally I couldn't take being squeezed between the two of them any longer. I asked Jay to go to Cade's bed. Jay willingly got up and went. Jay is such a heavy sleeper I worry about leaving the two of them together in bed. He had already tried to roll over on me a couple of times. I'm afraid Cade wouldn't stand a chance when Jay is really sleeping hard. I laid in bed and listened to Cade's horrible cough for the rest of the night.

At 5 am the alarm went off. I was exhausted. Since Cade was on my side of the bed it was a lot of work to reach over and shut it off. I hoped Jay would hear it and get up. No such luck. Finally after hitting snooze a couple of times I had to walk to Cade's room to get him up. I was so tired and not fully awake so I was pretty crabby. I think I yelled at him to get up. Which he did but then got right back in our bed. I decided he wasn't working out so I shut off the alarm. When it went off again at 6:30 he did get out of bed. I alternated between dozing and struggling to reach the alarm when I needed to hit snooze for the next 3o mins. Finally at 7 I realized that I could not remember him getting ready for school. I yelled a couple of times and got no response. I knew I had to get up again and check on him. He was asleep on the couch. I was really tired and really crabby at that point. I remember thinking I was so mad I wanted to spank him. When we talked about it last night Jay doesn't remember much about it.

Last night was about the same. I woke up and realized I was slammed against Jay's back because Cade was in our bed. Remember the pain in my spine the night before? Mystery solved – Cade brought his knees up to the fetal position and rammed them directly into my spine with all of his 75 pounds. He kept pushing and pushing which pushed me even farther onto Jay. Finally at 4 am I could no longer take it. I asked Jay to please go to Cade's room. It was just so much easier for him…I would've had to climb over one of them to get out of bed. Then once I got to Cade's room I would've had to take his clock down and shoved it in a different room and cover it up with something. The tick-tock on it is so loud. Jay doesn't have the issues with the clock like I do. And I don't fully trust Jay to operate the alarm in the mornings. Jay was not nearly as agreeable today as he was yesterday. I got a hateful "not really because I have to get up in an hour". That ticked me off because I had to get up at the same time. Finally he agreed and then stomped off to Cade's room. I think we all slept pretty well for the next hour.

This morning I asked Jay if he remembered getting mad at me during the night. He said he vaguely did. He also asked if there was stomping involved.

When I think about the ridiculous things we fight about I feel so blessed. Half of our fights even occur in the night, when neither one of us can remember what in the world happened. I hear stories of what other couples fight about and our problems are nothing….sleeping issues, moving to a different bed, not being fully awake to deal with sickness. And our fights in the nights usually give us something to laugh about in the morning.

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