Tuesday, April 16, 2013

So yesterday was not my best day at work. About 11 we got an email that some of the top dogs were coming to our office on Wednesday. We’ve speculated for awhile that our office would eventually close but we thought it was still a few years down the road. Apparently there have been some other turnovers and situations in some other offices that caused our closing to more than likely be accelerated. So I don’t know for sure….but I’m pretty confident we will be told tomorrow our office is closing. Yeah…not the worst news a person could hear but definitely not great news to start the work week. I don’t feel like I will be without a job…but I am concerned I will be driving to our new Joplin office which is not what I want to do. Not at all. There is a chance there could be a spot in the new Springfield office, which is what I’m hoping for. I’m pretty unsure we will hear anything for certain tomorrow. My company likes to announce broad plans before they think through the details. So I’m afraid tomorrow we will hear “oh your office is closing” and that will be the end of it. I’m afraid we will still be in turmoil for quite some time. I’m definitely having some stomach issues today.

So I allowed myself a pity party last night. Jay had a meeting so Camryn and I ate cheese dip and chips in my bed….or as she likes to call it “her bed”. She actually calls her bedroom Daddy’s Room. Apparently she thinks daddy’s like navy blue zebra print. It was also pretty hard to get up and come to work this morning. I know now why the other office has had so many problems the past year. It is pretty hard to come in and work like nothing is wrong. What I really wanted to do today was drive past the office and possibly scream an obscenity or two. But I held all those feeling back and pulled into the driveway.

So I’m going to get it all out here and hopefully I can move on and remember it is in God’s hands.

Everyone told me 35 would be rough. Your metabolism slows down and things just start to go down hill. Thirty-Five was fine. But 36 so far has not been a walk in the park. Right after the first of the year my metabolism hit the brakes. It’s not so much I gained a lot of weight….it just started taking up residence in some areas it hadn’t inhabited before . That did not make me very happy. Then I’ve just felt out of sorts emotionally. I don’t know if I’m going through perimenopause or what. I’ve just not felt quite right. Then I’ve been ignoring this – but I think my hair is thinning. I’ve tired to fluff it more, but around my part I’m just sure it is thinner than it used to be…like at Christmas time. I asked Jay this morning if he thought it looked thinner. He told me I was just in a mood where nothing was going to make me happy. Maybe he’s right but I swear I can feel my hair receeding as I type.

So right now here is my worst case scenario….driving to Joplin with this spare tire accumulating more and more around my middle while wearing a wig.

But thank goodness I saw this picture on a blog today. It was exactly what I needed to help me refocus. So I’m going to try to remember these words and be done with my pity party. I’m just not sure I’m to the point of being able to say I will laugh in the face of hair loss while clothing myself with a wig…..

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