Easter Dress Shopping

Right now I should be a good girl and post all of my purchases from last weekend on my Excel Worksheet that I use for a checkbook register, but I'm not. Instead I'm going to use the last few minutes of my workday to tell you about a new theory Charity and I have that could revolutionize Sex Education in today's high schools. To lead up to our theory I need to set up what out weekend plans were:

This past weekend Cade stayed with his MeMo and Papa Jim and J was at a contest. This was the perfect weekend for me to go shopping for our Easter clothes. Earlier last week Charity had decided to go also and we were going to the outlet malls in B. She just didn't know if Avery would be going with us or not. I didn't mind if Avery went, but every time I thought about it I had flashbacks to a shopping trip I went on with Sharon and Lorita when Cade was 18 months old. I swore I'd never do it again. It's not that Cade was bad, he was just an 18 month old baby and since it was after Labor day the mall decided it was time to turn on the heat. I was sweating profusely trying to keep up with a child that seemed to be a direct descendant of a track star rather than his two ordinary parents. When Charity and I were talking on Friday I told her that I blame my infertility on the birth control shot that I had used, but sometimes I wonder if my ovaries just shriveled up that day...or they spontaneously combusted due to the heat.

So Saturday morning I got a phone call that Charity was on her way and she was bringing Avery, which again was fine. I knew that it would be a somewhat challenging day, but we would be fine. So to recap - we needed to buy Easter clothes for the 3 members in my family and at least 2 members of Charity's family, it was unseasonably warm on Saturday, we had an umbrella stroller and an 19 month old with a shoe fetish. Wild doesn't even begin to describe what the next 36 hours were like. I have never seen a child rip shoes off as quickly as Avery does, she was pulling high heels down off the displays and wearing them around, she tried to run out of every shop door as soon as someone opened it. That girl can flat run in a pair of high heels 10 sizes too big, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. At one point during the day Charity said she felt like her insides were shriveling. I had to agree, if I had anything left Saturday took care of it.

Since it took us so much longer than we had planned on Saturday we decided to spend the night in B. No, we didn't have anything - no clothes, no makeup, nothing. We went to Target and got some necessities and made do with that. J asked if that was our version of camping. Sunday morning dawned and it was even hotter than it was on Saturday. Our first stop of the morning was the Tommy store - we bought t-shirts. We went in the dressing rooms, put them on, ripped the tags off and then paid for them. We were so hot and worn out we didn't even care that it probably wasn't the most proper thing to do. At least we were comfortable. We did manage to get our stuff purchased and make it home Sunday afternoon before midnight, which really was an accomplishment.

That brings me to the new Sex Ed. Charity and I think schools need to send their students on the kind of weekend we had. They need to be armed with an 18 month-2 year old, one umbrella stroller that tips over every time the kid isn't in it, one heavy diaper bag and a list of things that must be purchased. I'm not talking about turning them lose in Wal-Mart to purchase groceries, I mean serious shopping. They need to be required to purchase a dress that they have tried on and that looks decent on them along with all the accessories. They'll also need to purchase clothing for their entire pretend families. They need to experience trying to eyeball two different sizes of pants for a 6 year old while the 18 month old runs wild. They need to try and match an adult tie and shirt (I have a hard enough time doing this on my own) while the child screams and carries on because they want down. They should have to make that split decision when the child runs off - do I have time to grab the stroller before I chase them down or do I leave the stroller (which will tip over) with my purse and purchases in the middle of the aisle while I chase the child down? These are major decisions which will make the choice about a date to prom look like a piece of cake.

Besides helping with Sex Ed I also think it will improve the schools dress code. The girls will soon learn that low riding jeans and low cut shirts are not the thing to wear if you are going to be around a child. Considering you'll spend most of the day in some sort of a bent over position either picking them up or putting them back in their stroller. They'll learn the only way to get through the day is in a pair of tennis shoes. But when you're a mother who cares about fashion?

To end the day we stopped and got something to eat and I know we looked exhausted. We didn't have on any makeup and our hair was in sad shape. Our motel had a hair dryer but no curling iron, but that wouldn't have mattered anyway. The wind was blowing yesterday. While we were sitting there a couple of college age girls came in and Charity said she wondered how long it took them to get ready that morning. They had the hair that was fixed to look like it was messy. I said it probably took them all morning just to fix their hair - all it took us to get that same look was 5 minutes outside with Avery in strong wind gusts. But somehow I don't think our look was the look they were going for.

At the end of the day I did tell Charity thank you for going with me. I had been a little depressed lately about the adoption/infertility thing. I think I'm good for awhile.