And the doctor/insurance drama continues.....

I called to move our doctors appointments around today and I got the run around. What my doctors office is saying is that since we are having a paper signed saying we are in good health for adoption purposes they will not file it with our insurance company. When I explained that Blue Cross had said as long as it was billed as an annual exam it would be covered the office told me to contact my insurance company again and have Blue Cross fax them something telling them what code to use to bill it and what the coverage amounts will be. I called Blue Cross and they legally can't tell the drs office what code to use, but as long as the exams are coded as a yearly physical they would be covered. Well the doctors office so far has refused to send them in as a yearly physical. Ok, I can handle that on mine, but C needs his 5 year old checkup anyway plus his 5 year old immunizations. If we were just going in for a normal appointment those would be 100% covered, but since I need the doctor to sign his name to the form we may have to pay for the entire visit and shots. I'm so frustrated right now. I feel like we've been through so much and this just adds to it. I know that it really is a minor problem compared to the other things we've been through, but it is really frustrating me. I've made calls back and forth to the doctors office and the insurance company and I'm getting nowhere. J decided to call the nurse at the drs office because she is really good and she said she'd check on it. The only problem is she will check with the ladies at the front desk and we'll just get the same answer. If anyone is looking for a specific thing they could pray for this would be it. I need patience to deal with these women when we go in for our appointments and it would be really nice to have our insurance pay for these visits and that we would come out with a clean bill of health so we can move on to the next step. Mine and C's appointments are Friday, July 6 and J is Thursday July 12. Thanks!

Criminal Check

Last night I had my fingerprints done for my criminal background check. Instead of doing it the old way of using the black ink on fingerprint cards, I had my fingerprints scanned. The old way consists of using the black ink on every finger and then sending them off to the Highway Patrol along with $14. This way is cheaper, but it takes longer. The new way is to have each finger scanned into the computer and it's sent directly to the highway patrol. This way cost me $12 more, but it was worth it. I didn't have to get my fingers yucky with the black ink and my results should be back in about 5 days. Tonight J and I are going to sit down and try to figure out when we can get all the appointments scheduled for him and C. I made doctors appointments for us yesterday, but after I made them I realized J & C appointments would have to be changed. I don't think C is ever going to get his 5 year old check up done. I tried scheduling it in April and rescheduled it two times that week before I ended up cancelling it all together. Now I have to call and reschedule it again. I hope they don't have a record of all the times I've changed C appointment because the Dr's office may start to get cranky with me. Oh wait, it won't matter because they were already cranky with me when I made the appointments. There must be something in the air because every time I've tried to do something lately it seems I'm dealing with cranky people. The drs office told me they won't even bother to file my adoption physical with the insurance company because the insurance company won't pay for it. I'll be responsible for the checkup and the lab work. I called my insurance company and they said the physical would be covered up to my limit of $500. I know it will be a fight when I go to the drs office, hopefully everything will get filed correctly and the insurance company will pay. Paying for all of that without insurance isn't something that I want to do, especially since I figured out what we owe for the hernia surgery. It's amazing how much a little hernia can cost....I guess I'll be repeating the first part of Matthew 6:25 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life.....and Matthew 6:27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life.
How many of us have a hard time obeying this verse? I know this is one of the hardest ones for me!

1st Mailing to Agency

Another purpose of this blog is to let everyone know everything that goes into the adoption process. For both of our families adoption is a brand new thing, I don't think any of us are familiar with what goes into an adoption. I can't remember what details I gave you in earlier posts, but here is an update on where we are and what we've done so far....
January - Attended adoption informational meeting. Mailed in pre-application the next day. Agency called us back and said they'd let us know when we could send in the official application, probably 6 months to 1 year.
May - Received letter from Agency letting us know about their new Networking Program. Families on the waiting list can go ahead and go through the homestudy process so that when they are officially accepted to the program they will already have that done. In the meantime their profilies will be on the internet and possibly shown to birthparents. When we called the Agency to find out more, they told us we were next in line to be accepted into the program anyway, so we had 2 weeks to decide what we were going to do.
June - Mailed in official application and received the packet back for our homestudy.
June 25 - Mailed our first bunch of paperwork back to the Agency:
Affidavit of Health Insurance (signed by my employer)
2 consent forms
Release of Information for our employer and C daycare so the Agency can contact them
Adoption fee schedule and Adoption Services Contract
Statement of Faith - To put it simply, this states we believe in God. It actually says much more than that, but it's hard to condense it down here
Adoptive Family Information - This is the physical characteristics of the three of us
Family History Data - This repeats our physical traits, but also asks for our parents and siblings full name, city and state of residence, age, education, occupation, and religion. A humerous part of this form is that it asks for Family Characteristics (Interests/Physical Characteristics). That's exactly how the question was writen. We really had no idea what to write because we only had a very tiny line to write it all down in. When you think about our families how do you condense something down like that? We scribbled down a few things, but it just seemed a little odd to us. We also had to check off the diseases that are in the family just going back as far as our parents and list the areas where our family, relatives and friends reside or have strong ties
Copies of our last two years of tax returns and birth certificates

This packet was large (it took 5 stamps to mail it) because it contained a lot of stuff, but none of it was the really hard paperwork. We're still working on the questions, but everything was pretty much on hold last week because of VBS. Our goal is to get everything done before our vacation. We leave in 18 days....I'd better get off of the computer and get to work!
Be joyful in hope, patient in afflication, faithful in prayer - Romans 12:12

Take the Plunge - VBS 2007

Today was VBS at our church. I was lucky enough to be the director this year, so it was a busy day. Since our church is small we were all spread pretty thin, so we decided to do a one day VBS on a Saturday afternoon. We didn't have a huge crowd, but I think the ones that were there had a good time. We used the Standard Publishing VBS theme - Take the Plunge. It was a water park theme and all of the lessons showed how Jesus used water to change the lives of the people that he met. The key phrases were:
Plunge into Obedience - The Miraculous Catch of Fish
Plunge into Worship - Jesus and the Woman at the Well
Plunge into Faith - Jesus Walks on Water
Plunge into Courage - Jesus calms the storm
There is also a 5th lesson Plunge into Service - Jesus Washes the Disciples feet, but we only used 4 of the lessons. I helped with the Miraculous Catch of Fish lesson, due to a scheduling change on Friday night. I had originally planned on helping with Jesus Walks on Water. That lesson really spoke to me because it was telling the kids how to Plunge into Faith. That is something that I've struggled with over the past couple of years. How many times do we say "God I have faith you'll be there for ________" and then somehow along the way we lose our Faith. When that happens were like Peter, we end up almost drowning in our problem. We could possibly be missing out on what we could do or should do because we don't fully trust him. For me the key part to remember when I feel that way is that just because we have Faith doesn't mean the situation will turn out the way we want. The Faith part comes in when you still believe that God will give you the strength to get through it. Here are a few pictues of J and C at VBS, along with our stage decoration. J did a lot for me today. He taught a lesson, which means he did it 4 different times, then played outside for 2 hours with the kids, then cooked hamburgers for the BBQ. He really worked hard today, thank you so much. Also a big thank you to Memo and Grandma Robyn, the snack ladies. I couldn't have done it without the three of you. And, if anyone from church ever happens to read this, THANK YOU to those that helped today. The day might have been a little smaller than I'd hoped for but it still was a successful day.

Dino Mini Golf

Last Sunday we went to a close vacation spot and spent the night. We left right after church and did a little shopping, saw a show and then took C mini golfing at the Dinosaur place. We saw this place last year on vacation, but we didn't golf last year. C has remembered it and has talked about it frequently. When we left church we told him that we'd play golf at the Dinosaur place, BUT that it would be dark before we'd go. That was all C could think about the rest of the day. Poor little guy, we told him we'd take him but we made him wait until 10:30 p.m. to play. J decided since it was Father's Day he wanted to see a show, so we played after the show. I can see that my personality is starting to show in C because he's becoming a worry wart/high strung when he's got something he wants to do. All through the show he worried that the golf place would be closed. It was all he could talk about. When we finally got there it was like he had waited for this for so long that he didn't know how to control himself. It also didn't help that we were there from 10:30 to 11:30, so he was really tired. By the time we got to the last hole he was so tired and really high strung. He kept trying to get his ball in the 18th hole and I finally told him to just drop it in. We're not really for sure what happend, but somehow he kept falling and rolling around on the ground during this time. At this point all J and I could do was laugh at him, which C does not like to be laughed at. Finally he got his ball in the 18th hole and then ran over to a hole on a different course and waited for his ball to pop out. It was a little pitiful, but J and I really started laughing. I'll never forget the look on his face when I told him his ball wasn't coming back. He got really upset because there was a hole onthe other course that he wanted to play. Luckily J hadn't putted his ball in yet, so we took it and played the hole ont he other course. That seemed to satisfy C so then we snapped a few more pictures and headed back to our room.

Why I'm Using Initials

When I first told J I was going to start a blog he wanted me to be careful about using our names and giving away the location of where we live. I agree with not wanting to say anything about where we live and because of what I've named the blog using our initials is probably the best thing. When I talk about other people I'll proabably use their first name, but I won't give out any other information. I'm sure that in a couple of weeks I'll post some pictures from a certain little girl's birthday party and saying Happy Birthday A won't be the same as using her name.

Letting Go of the Dream

Tuesday I had my yearly appointment with my doctor. I hadn't seen him since our last IUI in March. While I was in the waiting room watching the pregnant women come and go I realized that I don't fit in with them anymore. No matter how much I've tried to beg and plead with God over the last two years I can't fit into the pregnant mold because that's not where I belong. I've known this in my heart for the last two years, but it became very clear to me on Tuesday. It was like God was telling me that sitting in the doctor's office is not where I belong, he has a much better plan for me. Needless to say I kept tearing up while I was sitting there. It's hard not to, and it's hard to not be judgmental while your waiting there. How could the people sitting in that office deserve a baby more than J and I? I'm ashamed of that way of thinking, like I haven't learned anything in my struggles the last 2 years. When I finally got to see the doctor he didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know, it's just different to actually hear the words - I can't do anything else for you. I could tell he felt bad because he didn't have any answers for me, not that I expected him to have any. We are Unexplained Secondary Infertility, there aren't any answers. He was giving me the information on IVF, he thinks we could have a good shot at it because for our IUI's we always looked good on paper. J and I talked about IVF a year ago and we both know that's not the direction God wants us to take at this time. I feel 100% confident that adoption is where He wants us to be. My doctor is sure that I did get pregnant from the IUI in November and the one in March, it just didn't take for some reason. I strongly feel that the reason is because there is another baby out there for us. More than likely this baby isn't even conceived yet, but I know God knows the plan. We are just trusting him to lead us along.

We have a table for 4......

For our first anniversary J and I bought an antique round table that came with 4 antique chairs. We were so excited about our purchase. Even though kids were still off our radar at the time, we knew we wanted 2 kids to fill up our new table. God had other things in mind for us because 6 months later we found out we were pregnant with C. I like to say that he was the best surprise that I've ever gotten. When he was about 18 months old he moved to the big table and has been there ever since. The nice antique table doesn't look quite so nice anymore, it is definitely showing it's age, but I still love it. The only problem with the table is that there is still one chair that's not being used and it happens to be the chair directly across from my spot. Even though J sits to my left and C sits to my right, it still feels empty because the spot that I look at is empty. We've tried for 2 years and several failed fertility treatments to fill the spot, but nothing has worked. That is what brings me to this blog and the purpose of it. We have mailed in an application for domestic infant adoption - we are officially started on trying to fill the empty place at our table. I know that God has a plan for everything and I'm excited to see his plan unfold through this journey.