Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Hot Flashes and Emotions…

I think Friday night I started experiencing my first symptoms from the Lupron. That would've been 7 days after the first injection so I'm guessing that would be about right?? Cade played his last ever Coach's Pitch baseball game. We lost the first game Friday night so our season was over, but we ended up 3rd so that's not bad. While I was watching them line up to tell the other team good game I had that sad feeling like it was the end of something, but I held it back. We sent Cade home with Sharon because we had a rodeo event going on last weekend. Jay and I drove back to the event and found out it was a bust. Lyle and Jania had very willingly volunteered to work it for us and they had sold 6 while we were gone. We decided to close up and go out to eat. We hoped that Saturday would be better.

On the way to eat I told Jay I was sad because this was Cade's last game, then I started crying. Next year we will be in big baseball. Then while we were eating I kept tearing up. I think the Lupron mixed with the stress that fertility procedures put on a person did me in. I kept thinking about Cade's last game and would we ever get to experience this phase again with another one? We've had so much fun with Cade and we would like to have another chance someday. Then I don't know if this made me laugh or cry, but if we are ever blessed to experience this with another child at least we won't have to worry about who's going to work the ice stand. Cade will be at least 17 when we would have an 8 year old in baseball… No more begging friends/family to help us out!!

Saturday I thought I felt a little better. I went to Republic to get groceries and decided to grab something to eat. Fast food didn't sound good so I decided on Pizza Hut. While I was eating I started crying…for no reason. It was so awful and embarrassing. I had one napkin that was covered in pizza sauce and tears. I couldn't seem to get control. I texted my friend Shelley who's been through this stuff before. She said it was definitely the Lupron. Finally I got myself together enough that I could pay and get the heck out of there. No less then three Pizza Hut employees asked me if the food was ok. I should've told them No, I was really craving Canadian Bacon and Pineapple and there was none!! I really wish I would've thought of that sooner….

I told Jay about my Pizza Hut experience while we were on the way to Saturday night's rodeo event. He seemed to be horrified. He said the next time I felt like that maybe I should think about going through a drive thru. The problem was I had no idea it was going to happen. Definitely one of the weirder things I've ever experienced.

Then Sunday I got to experience my first hot flash. We were killing some time before going to the Schlitterbahn Waterpark in KC, by walking around a mall. All of a sudden I had this hotness just explode from the inside out. It was like a fire spreading up my back. Jay's always hot so I asked him if the mall was warm. He said it wasn't. It was all me. You know how sometimes you see older women wearing skimpy tops and you think to yourself that they really don't need to be wearing that? Now I know why they do. It's because they are so hot they think they are going to be incinerated on the spot. Totally understand where they are coming from now.

I should have about 10 more Lupron shots left. I think my last one is 7/8. My ultrasound was yesterday and I'm still waiting to hear from the clinic. Once I hear from them I get to start the Estrace. So I'll be taking Lupron to kill the hormones and Estrace to put estrogen back in my system. My body won't know which way is up by the time I'm done with all this stuff!


Laura said...

Hang in there, sweetie! Just think you are getting a pretty good idea of what menopause is like, so you will be prepared! I dropped Henry of to Andrea last Friday and thought I would die from being hot right then and there, then we went to eat at Fazoli's, the kids were cold, Brad was a little chilly, and I was dripping sweat into my Rigotoni! I am now one of the fat girls you see wearing spaghetti strap shirts and Capri's with blinding white legs and fat hanging out of my shirt! Oh well I have a ring on my finger it's all downhill from here!
Love ya

Crystal said...

Your age was not what I was thinking as being older. You are only 7 years older than me. That's really not old! You look fine in your tank tops! You may see me working The Icebox at the Sheldon Picnic in just a sports bra though...

Laura said...

Can I bring a camera to the picnic????? Love the blog, the stories about Cade are hysterical! You have a beautiful family and are wonderful parents. Sometime, like the last few days, I look around and although I am happier in my marriage and life then I have ever been, can't help but think of how badly I screwed being a good mother up. The most important job in the world and I failed. Younger 2 say otherwise, but.................oh well you don't need to hear my sob story! Always thinking about you, miss the family, hopefully will see ya soon.