Thursday, January 28, 2010

Adoption Update

Today is a slow day at the office. Probably the slowest I've had since the middle of September. I seriously have everything done that I need to do…except for some pesky life insurance phone calls, but those can wait until tomorrow…or sometime next week…or as long as I can put it off. Leslie will hate me when she reads this, but since she's working 70 hours a week she probably won't see it until sometime later in the spring.

I decided to take this time and create a post to announce the new direction we are going to try with our adoption. For about the last year the topic of embryo adoption has kept coming up. At one time last spring our social worker even called us to see if that was something we would be interested in. It was, but every time we thought about doing something different the agency would get a rush of potential situations so we'd decide to wait before turning in our application (and paying the application $$$), if we didn't need to. Finally last summer, right before we went on vacation, we decided to send in the application. In turn, they sent us a bunch of paperwork back that needed to be filled out.

That was what made our doctors appointments last fall so hectic. I think I posted about that while we were going through everything. We had double the work in terms of medical tests and paperwork to be signed off on. Also, while I was updating our domestic adoption profile, I was also trying to create our profile for the embryo adoption. There was a lot of stress going on, but we weren't ready to announce yet that we were going to try the concurrent embryo adoption. We've just had so many ups and downs with this whole process I didn't feel like announcing something and then have to take it back.

We still aren't out of the woods yet in knowing if we will for sure be able to do this. Our homestudy has been approved, but we are on another waiting list. When I talked to the patient coordinator the first part of December she said that we were on the list then proceeded to shuffle papers and count each couple that was in line ahead of us in my ear. She seriously counted 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 out loud. There are 18 couples ahead of us waiting to have their initial appointment. I think that is the story of our lives with this adoption – hurry up and wait! I'm guessing that's going to put our initial appointment sometime this summer? I'm hoping by August we'll be headed to Knoxville, TN to meet with the doctor….which would put a transfer actually happening towards the end of the year.

At this initial appointment they will check us over and determine if I'm even a candidate for embryo adoption. Since we don't know the cause of our infertility I have no idea if this will even be an option for us.
We are excited about this prospect, but my hands also get sweaty thinking about it. I really want to do this, but I'm also scared. We've had so many disappointments over the last 5 years that I'm nervous about trying anything else. I'm nervous about the anxiety I'll have during the two week wait to see if the embryo(s) stuck. I'm terrified of bawling at my desk every day because I'm so stressed out wondering if it's going to work or not. I'm also nervous about all the medication I'll have to take. It all sounds so complicated. I'm really really nervous about the progesterone shots, which Jay will have to give to me. The thought of Jay coming towards my rear end with a needle is frightening. We get to try this 3 times. How will I feel if they don't take? These are all emotions that are running through my mind off and on.

I guess I'm making the announcement so that 1. I'll have something else to talk about on the blog except – oh we weren't picked again and 2. Some extra prayers for us while we go through this process would be great.

Right after our homestudy was approved we got our Bethany quarterly magazine and there was an article about embryo adoption. Their story sounds so much like ours – they were waiting for something every time they turned around. Like us they waited over 2 years on the domestic adoption list before they decided to try the concurrent embryo adoption. Then their first transfer didn't take. Then their second transfer resulted in a miscarriage. Finally their third transfer worked and they were pregnant with twins. But their waiting wasn't over. The pregnancy was very hard and she ended up on bed rest. Finally, the babies were born healthy and this couple has a wonderful relationship with their children's genetic parents. The article was called Worth the Wait. I try to keep focused on that thought – that someday we will finally be at peace with our wait and know that whatever happens will be worth everything that we went through.

If you are interested in reading more about embryo adoption or the clinic where we will be going – the link is here.

I know this is a topic that some of you may have never heard of.  If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment or just ask one of us.  We are excited to think about giving life to these frozen embryos....or "Snowflakes" as they've been nicknamed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey - I resemble that remark! And not to worry, I see the 70 hour weeks waning. . . . . ;o) I'll be praying for you that God blesses such wonderful people with the opportunity to be parents to another beautiful child!