Monday, October 15, 2007

Thoughts on Adoption

At our training this past Saturday we heard from another couple who adopted two children. The children are now 16 and 12 and they seemed to be great kids. This family was the best part of both of the sessions that we've been to. J and I could've listened to them for the entire 5 hours we were there on Saturday. They also brought along one of the grandma's so we got to also hear some comments from her which was great. I wish everyone in our family could talk to them because it just reinforced our decision to adopt. J and I feel so strongly about what we are doing and even though our families are both supportive we wish you could hear this family. It's hard for me to describe everything that we feel about this experience and this family managed to put it all into words. Adoption is a calling from God. It is nothing short of amazing to be in a room with 15 other Christian couples all in different stages of the adoption process. Some are adopting Internationally, some are adopting Domestically, but all of us know in our heart that God has a special child in mind for us. We're just waiting for His perfect timing to be matched with him or her.

I want to devote some posts to adoption and try to explain some of the feelings that led us to this decision. I was going through some of the information that our agency sent us when we first contacted them. One of the things was a checklist to see if you were ready to adopt. Here are some of the things we considered in the very beginning:
1. Are you losing energy to pursue further fertility treatments - YES
2. In many ways would it be a relief to stop trying to conceive - YES
3. Have you tried every medical option with which you feel comfortable, yet experienced no success - YES
4. Are you willing to make yourself vulnerable to someone else's judgement - YES, this one took some time to get used to
5. Have you grieved the loss of the child you had hoped to conceive (vitally important question)- YES, we spent two years doing this
6. Do you find yourself spending more and more time thinking about and talking about adoption - YES
7. Do you and your spouse both feel adoption is a positive option - YES
8. Can you look over the following list of wrong reasons to adopt and conclude these are not the reasons you want to adopt - YES
We will be doing the poor child a favor, Other children will have a playmate, We have been through a difficult infertility experience and we deserve a baby, Raising a baby will help our marriage, Having a baby to love will make me feel completed and loved

All of the answers to these questions were YES for us. I was thinking yesterday that I don't really think of us as being infertile anymore. There was a time where it consumed almost every thought that I had, but there are days that go by now and I don't even think about it. I've said in previous posts that I don't want to forget about it (which I won't), but it's nice not to think about it quite as much.

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