Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Most Important Email. Ever.

One year ago today we got an email right about 4:00 pm.  When printed out that email amounts to about ¾ of a page.  When you read the actual description on the situation that could fit on ½ a page.  One year ago today this……..

Was a few lines on half a sheet of paper. During our wait we lived for those situations emails. I wish I had kept track of how many of those things we read over the years. I started to keep them all but they got pretty depressing so I stopped. My best guess would be 60 ish at least. Each one would bring hope and excitement. I’d mentally calculate leave dates and such. No matter how much I’d tell myself to not get my hopes up too much it was impossible to do. It was just the way it was.

This email was different though. I’m not sure why or how, but I knew from the moment I read that email this baby was ours. We didn’t find out we were chosen until May 19th, but I just had a feeling. There were times during the next couple of weeks I wondered if we would actually bring that baby home but for the most part I had an incredible sense of peace. I just knew. I don’t know how God works everything out. I don’t know that His plan was for C to experience the pain of placing her child for adoption so our family would be complete. I think it’s more His way of making the best of a not the best situation???? I don’t know….I don’t even pretend to know that I have the answers to those tough questions. I think it’s a combination of becoming older and wiser and struggling with infertility/adoption for so many years, but every day I understand Proverbs 3:5 a little more…. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. The older I get the more I realize there is less and less I understand about this world, but that is the way it is supposed to be. That’s how I continue to approach Camryn’s adoption….there are many many things I don’t understand and I just know that God will provide the answers when I need them. I’m not naive though and think there will never be issues that stem from her adoption, I’m just completely putting it with God and we’ll go from there. All I know right now is that one year ago today our lives changed forever.  This little girl was ours from the moment I opened the email and read those few lines.

On April 21, 2011 I blogged this....

This time of year I tend to get myself a little extra worked up because we are heading into summer….How great would it be to get a baby during the summer and I could take my 12 weeks off and spend it at home with a new baby, Cade & Jay. So the Easter daydreams are being replaced with summer vacation dreams….which this is nothing new. Happens every year around this time….

How God like is it that a few short days later our prayers were answered?  Little did we know that when we sent our yes email back to the agency at 4:14 pm we were saying yes to this…..
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1 comment:

Rachel said...

I LOVE this blog post. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I can't say anything fancier than that. xo