Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Onward to November

I was very surprised this morning to receive a call from Clydene at the NEDC. She was ready to send me the embryos profiles so we can get them reserved for the November transfer. I was surprised because I didn't think this would happen until sometime in September. I guess the NEDC is doing it differently now…instead of picking the embryos in a mad rush each family gets 24 hours to make their decision. I have to e-mail Clydene our choices by 8 am tomorrow morning and then the remaining profiles will be passed on to the next family.

This new system is good and bad (at least for me). It's nice that I'm not frantically sorting through profiles and rushing to send an e-mail. I'm enjoying that part. On the other hand though it's not a good idea for me to have a lot of thinking time. I'm already wondering which ones we should pick. We still have 3 blasts on hold from the last transfer. Do I keep those and pick 3 more blasts? One issue I have is that 2 of the blasts are from genetic parents who were 40 and 50 years old. Yes, the age concerns me. Not only is the chance for genetic problems higher, the egg quality likely isn't as good. But it was still good enough for a pregnancy for the donors. It's sad to think that those babies may never get a chance because of people overlooking them due to their age. Do we release them and go with younger donors? So complicated!!!

I'm staring at this stack of profiles wondering if our child is in there? Is it in the stack we have at home from the last transfer? What if we make the wrong decision? I tend to go a lot on gut feelings, but sometimes my gut gets so confused because my head does too much thinking. Maybe we should put them in a hat and draw them out? Hmm, actually that's not a bad idea….

And the tension headache continues….

Clydene also reminded me about that pesky homestudy problem. It needs to be updated in September. I am so dreading that. I really really dislike filling out that paperwork. What I hate the most is the financial part of it. I do that sort of thing every day at work, but I hate to do it for myself. I don't like filling out the balance sheet, I detest breaking down where every $$ goes to each month, It aggravates me that I have to copy our tax return and the statements of every account we list on the balance sheet. EVERYONE ELSE CAN GET PREGNANT REGARDLESS OF IF THEY CAN AFFORD IT OR NOT!!! You loose all of your privacy through the adoption and this is the part that bothers me the most. Probably because I'm the one who has to fill it out and I'm the one making phone calls and digging through the enormous stacks of paper trying to find our latest statements. Makes my head hurt more just thinking about it. Have I mentioned this is the FOURTH TIME WE'VE DONE THIS??? I guess I feel like yelling today!

But we do have one new asset to add to the balance sheet this year. Maybe it will distract them from all of the other stuff. I'm guessing it's not everyday a social worker would see 1 Hawaiian Ice trailer listed on an adopting couple's financial statement. Maybe Jay could even offer to whip up one for her….she'd pass us through with flying colors after that regardless of what the balance sheet says!

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