A Lump of Coal

Last night there was a FFA thing at the school so Cade and I went. I wasn't planning on staying very long because 1) Cade had homework and 2) the CSI series premiere started at 8:00. Of course if anyone asked me, my reason for leaving would've been 1) rather than 2). Jay thinks I'm weird because I love that show. It is my favorite and has been my favorite since it came on. That show has been a constant through our newlywed days, my pregnancy (even though I had to catch the re-runs during the summer because I passed out by 8:00 every night), my time as a new parent, Cade's toddlerhood, infertility and now adoption. Me, our recliner and CSI have weathered many a Thursday night together. I wasn't about to miss the season opener due to a chili supper/slave auction. Yes, call me unsupportive, but I'm territorial with the 8-9 time slot on Thursdays. I did show up, we just left before everything was done. If you polled the people leaving last night I don't think any of them would've noticed.

So last night I was a little hard on Cade at the auction indirectly because of CSI. In the afternoon's he has somewhat of a free reign around the school. Besides the FFA event there also was a volleyball game so people were everywhere. I did not want Cade running wild because I was concerned about him and I didn't want to hunt him down when it was time to go. I did not want anything to interfere with me getting home by 8:00. Needless to say, there was some disciplining going on in the school halls along with whining.

Once we got loaded in the car we had exactly 10 minutes to get from the school to the house. I knew we were going to be close so I was concentrating. Cade picked that moment to start asking me about our weekend plans. That created 7 solid minutes of him asking in another whiny voice "well what will we do after that". He wouldn't take I don't know, or we'll see as answer. Finally after 7 minutes of this I told him that was enough, he was not to whine anymore. He sat there for a little bit and then said he thought he would get cold. I told him the car was hot, there was no way he could be cold. The he yelled it louder that he was going to get cold at Christmas. I told him that yes, it usually was cold at Christmas. Then he screamed at me because I was being dense that he was afraid he was going to get coal in his sock. I was thinking about CSI and was mistaking his coal for cold. I don't know where this came from and I really wasn't in the mood to discuss it last night. Discussing things with Cade is like talking to a wall and well to put it bluntly he's really started to nag me. He is always nagging me about something I did wrong with his homework - he never nags Jay, even though Jay has actually been the one who's forgotten to write the books in the log. This morning he nagged me because we had read his homwork stories out of order. I assured him his teacher wouldn't know, he argued back, I tried to convince him it was ok, etc. Yes, I am hearing myself come out in my child and I'm not liking it.

Back to the coal - I said why do you think you're going to get coal? He said it was because he was whining and had been whining a lot (isn't admitting the problem the first step to recovery?). I assured him there was plenty of time to turn things around before Christmas. He wasn't convinced that Santa could ever see the good in him. This is where the nagging comes in - he said "Mommy, when I do get coal don't give me that look and say oh Cade you were bad and got coal." "You need to just say nice try Cade, maybe you'll do better next year." Doesn't that sound like something he's heard at school? Luckily we pulled in the driveway and he forgot all about the coal before I had to respond. I guess according to Cade, our shopping should be relatively light this year. I asked Jay if it would be too damaging to put coal in his sock as a joke. I wouldn't ever do that.....that would be too traumatizing, right?......