Being the mom of a teenager.....

So I’ve had another long blogging break.  My life just isn’t all that interesting right now.  Maybe it’s the weather that’s put me in a funk – but there just isn’t anything funny to write about when all you are doing is working, driving home, working some more, sleeping and repeating the same cycle every day.  I’m not complaining about the lack of excitement, believe me I’d rather have a million average days like I’ve had.  But there hasn’t been a lot of blogging inspiration going on. 

Camryn is somewhat out of her get in to everything phase.  At least for the most part.  We still have moments where she backslides, but there isn’t many stories there.  With Cade being older now I do shelter him somewhat from the blog.  He’s at that weird age and I don’t want anything I’ve said here to somehow get back to him in the wicked Jr. High way.  I thought Jay and Charlie were mellowing in their old age because I don’t hear as much screaming as I used to.  I think though that the screaming is now taking place farther away from the house so I’m not hearing it.  Which means no stories to tell. 

I’ve gone back and forth on what I should do.  I really do like writing.  It’s a stress reliever for me.  But do I need to go another direction with the blog?  Should I try to fill up the time with other things in between stories or go weeks at a time with no new post?  Does anyone really even care what I type? (that’s not a fishing for compliments I just figure no one really cares about my specific topics.  They aren’t earth shattering like Pinterest Told Me To or my personal favorite Suburban Strut.  Those are real life changing Blogs right there)  These are all things I’ve been mulling around for a few days.  Then over the last 24 hours I got my inspiration.  Maybe I should start writing about being a mother of a teenager. I’m not talking about how to handle their mood swings and other 7^th grade attitude adjustments.  I’m talking about me.  How I’m handling being a mother of a teen(or at least he will be one in 21 days). I could sum it up in one short sentence by saying – I’m not handling it very well.  But since this is me I will draw it out for several paragraphs…..So for those of you with younger kids listen up!  Learn how not to be. 

I am almost 38 years old.  As of May 12^th (or maybe the 19^th) 2015 I will have been out of school for 20 years.  And while I was not what I consider an overly mean high school girl I did have my moments – like pretty much every girl who’s ever gone to school, but I wasn’t horrible.  I went to a small enough school that there weren’t any clique’s and we had all known each other since birth so that cut down on a lot of problems.  College was a little different because you found friends that were a lot like you so there wasn’t a lot of drama there.  Looking back I was probably part of small clique on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I’d  sit with friends in Karl’s Hall during an extended break and laugh at people.  We also laughed at ourselves plenty so it wasn’t like I was a completely horrible person.  And there were guys there to so it wasn’t like we were just a mean bunch of girls sitting there.  Even though my experiences were mild I still wasn’t sad to leave any of it behind. 

For the last 20 years I’ve been a pretty normal, level headed adult.  Then Cade entered 7^th Grade.  My Mean Girl has re-surfaced with a vengenance.  Actually I think its more mature version of the Mean Girl who is named Mean Perimenopausal Crazy Girl, otherwise known as MPCGirl...or like Jay calls it “when you yell a lot.”  What makes MPCGirl so much worse then Mean Girl is that when I was just the Mean Girl it was because Dayton said my new yellow shorts made my butt look big.  MPCGirl  comes out when Cade has an altercation with a Jr High girl AND I remember Dayton and the big butt, yellow shorts incident.  Really MPCGirl is like a steamroller in more ways than one.

Cade really doesn’t have too many issues with other kids.  I will say he’s got a pretty good self-esteem and he is secure in himself and his quirks.  But we all have our breaking point and Cade had his a few weeks ago.  He wore a new sweatshirt that he had gotten for Christmas to school.  It was from AE and it was a neon color.  The kids started teasing him that it looked gay.  Luckily I was picking him up early for an eye appointment so he wasn’t there all day.  We had a 30 minute drive to the eye doctor and Cade bared his 7^th Grade soul.  And I was pissed.  I read so many blogs of great Christian woman who are so encouraging and Godly and what not.  I am embarrassed to admit this – but I was definitely not one of them that day.  MPCGirl came out in full, full force.  I finally completely lost it and I said some things about this particular little girl that made Cade’s eyes about pop out of his head.  It shocked him enough that he quit being upset.  It was probably mostly because he realized his mom was saying words he’d never heard while hurtling down a two lane road in a black van at 75mph.  ( I find the thought of having these moments in a van make it seem even crazier.  There is just something crazy about a mad mother driving a mini van that makes me laugh)  He couldn’t escape.  I did get control a  few minutes later and said we needed to pray for her because obviously she had some ugly things going on in her life to say such ugly things to other people.  I think I redeemed myself, at least sort of.  Of course later I texted a few teacher friends at school to see what they knew about this little ______!  I also put Jay on the task of putting his eyeballs on this girl to see what we were dealing with.  This girl actually ran on to Jay and Cade one weekend and Jay gave her his teacher stare.  I don’t know if it registered with the girl or not, but she’s left Cade alone since then. 
MPCGirl got tucked away for a few weeks and things seemed to be fine.  Then she made an appearance last night.  For no reason really.  I think she thought she had to live up to the Crazy in her name. Cade said that the girls in his class were wearing that zig-zag print.  I said you mean Chevron?  He said yes, they’ve all been wearing Chevron lately.  I like Chevron, I still own it, I still wear it, I decorated Camryn’s room with it.  But something snapped last night when he said that.  I said “well if they are wearing Chevron they must not read the same fashion blogs I do because Chevron went out awhile ago.  The next time they tell you something you are wearing looks gay you tell them your mom says Chevron is so over!!!”  Cade looked so confused.  He had no idea what just happened.  Jay’s back was to me so I have no idea if any of our conversation registered with him.  I think I could’ve been classified as temporarily insane for about 30 seconds.  Which leads me in to a sub story going on yesterday…. 
When I dropped Camryn off yesterday Stacy told me that she had watched a 14 month old girl the day before for about an hour.  Camryn spent the whole time trying to scare this baby.  She found pictures of volcanoes and wolves to show the baby hoping she would scare it.  Stacy was laughing about it.  I hope she was laughing because she raised 8 kids and knows Camryn will grow out of it.  I was disturbed.  I called Jay and told him.  He was also disturbed.  What kind of 3 year old purposely scares a baby?  I worried about what kind of mean girl we were raising.  When I asked Camryn about it this morning she said that she wanted to scare the baby because the baby had touched something on the iPad and messed up her game.  I really wasn’t sure if this made me feel better or not.  I went from worrying about her being mean to wondering about a three year old feeling the need to retaliate.  I wasn’t going to blog about that because I was afraid someday people would say “I knew she had sociopathic tendencies from an early age.” Or “what kind of genetics did that girl come from.”     

When I told Tera, a work friend, about the baby scaring yesterday and then how I realized I am a mean girl today we did have a good laugh over it all.  Tera made some valid points.  She said that Cade telling some girls their clothes were out of style according to a fashion blog would not help his cause any.  MPCGirl had not thought that part out fully.  Tera also said her mom used to say “kill them with kindness” but the Shepherd way of hurtling fashion insults and showing scary pictures might also work.  Actually I probably should say it’s more the Moore/Ewing/Fowler way because the mean girl is definitely coming down my side of the family tree. Jay and Cade are still trying to figure out what Chevron looks like.    

So the moral of the post is everyone is quick to point out when you have a baby to cherish it because it goes fast....No one ever told me that having a child in Jr High/High School means your thoughts and feelings revert back to that time period and it's 1,000,000X worse when your child is going through it. 

 

Super Bowl Highlights

As most of you can tell by this blog, I have a real take it or leave it attitude about sports.  The majority of it is a leave it attitude, but I usually do make an effort to watch the Super Bowl.  Last night we had a church party.  This past fall we installed a huge TV screen in our sanctuary so we were able to watch it in there.  We also ate pizza and Camryn ran around and jumped off the stage while were watching the big screen.  There are some 1700's era Pilgrims rolling over in their graves about now.  There are some things that happened last night that will go down in my mind as the biggest memories from Super Bowl 49.  And none of them had anything to do with the last play that cost the Seahawks the win.

1.  The Fiat commercial.  That was the one with the little blue pill.  There is nothing like every head in our church sanctuary watching that little blue pill bounce all over the place until it ended up in the car's gas tank.  It was completely silent in the church, except for the snickering of one older gentlemen.  I happened to be coming out of the bathroom so I got to watch the back of every head bounce up and down along with the pill.

2.  At the beginning of the game we were talking about Tom Brady and wondered how old he was.  Jay said he was in college at the same time we were so he figured he was around our age - 36, 37ish.  I was surprised he was that old.  People our age don't need to be playing football!!!   Cade was having some teenage moments last night so his parents were the dumbest things in the world.  Jay had a little talk with him by the snacks.  While they were gone one of those info screens popped up and had some facts about Tom Brady.  He's 37.  When Jay got back I told him that Tom Brady was 37 so we were all the same age.  Cade, with his teenage angst, said "Look at Tom Brady....(head swivels back and forth between Jay and I) and then look at you people."  Jay missed it but I had to look away because I was laughing.  Later I told Cade I was hurt that he didn't think I looked like Tom Brady.  He said "well I just meant I can't imagine you and dad playing football."  Yeah right!!!     

Our neighbor obviously doesn't read our blog...

Because he asked Jay and Cade to cat sit this week. 

I worked in Joplin yesterday so after work I did some "grocery" shopping. Which we all know that means I returned something at Old Navy, checked out the additional 60% off rack at AE and tried on a pair of boots 1/2 a size too big In the off chance they might fit just because they were a good deal at Macys.  Then I hurriedly ran through Aldis and Wal Mart, but then lingered in Target. What is it about that store?  By the time I got home it was almost 10 pm.

Camryn was already in bed and Cade was doing his own thing so that gave Jay and I time to talk without interruption and catch up on our days. Surprisingly we were also able to stay awake. 

Jay said they were leaving school yesterday and our neighbor Glenn called to see what "you boys were doing."  Glenn is a great neighbor who lets Jay borrow his tractor. Glenn and his wife are going on a cruise so we are returning the favor by feeding their cat. I say we, but actually it mean them. We all know there is no way, barring an extreme emergency, that I'll be feeding this cat.

So the boys went to Glenn's to meet the cat and learn the expectations. When Jay told me what all happened I laughed so hard. Cade's first question...how old is the cat. Glenn said she's old, really really old. Cade's response "that's good because our cats didn't make it past two months."  Glenn said "oh..." Glenn's wife heard and this and she reassured Cade. She told him if the cat died while they were gone it wouldn't be his fault. She is just a really old cat. Cade said "good."  

Cade also has this way of blurting out questions he has. He physically can't hold back a question once it enters his head. Jay needed to leave so he could get Camryn and be at a students house to take Proficiency Award pictures at 5:30. But Cade needed to know something about a gun he knew Glenn had so the question came out. Then they spent the next several minutes looking at guns. I think Cade has spotted the next gun he wants. Jay told him to save up his money. (That might be a birthday idea for the grandparents.)

I just hope we have better luck with this cat then we did with our last experience. 

A Trip to the Doctor

For the past week Camryn has been down with something.  When it first started I thought it was the flu because her fever was so high and she was lethargic.  I called the doctor and got her in that afternoon because we were getting on Tamiflu if that was in fact what it was.  He said it was just a virus.  I stayed home with her the next day and she seemed to be better.  Then over the weekend she got lethargic again and looked like she was running a fever but yet didn’t really feel hot.  After several more days of her moping around I thought she might have a bladder infection.

 I called the doctor again and they could get her in this past Wednesday at 3:45. Awesome!  Jay could take her after school and no one would have to miss work.  On my soapbox here for a minute – but I get tired of people commenting on how often I take my kids to the doctor vs. how their kids never had to go.  These are usually from men who’s wives stayed home.  It’s a whole lot easier when you are at home to wait out an illness.  When you are a working mom you don’t have the luxury of letting time do it’s thing.  We may each get 1 day to stay home with the kids so they need to be over this illness in 2 days tops – 3 if we can pull in Memo.  And it’s not that we don’t have flexible jobs where we can’t take off, but all working people know how there is an unwritten understanding that if you miss more than 1 day of work for illness someone must be dying.  So if my kids get sick then yes, I need to take them to the doctor because if they need on an antibiotic they need it sooner rather than later.  Ok, off my soapbox.

I called Jay after I made the appointment and told him what time he needed to have Camryn there.  Later I got to thinking about how I needed to explain some things to him.  I sent him a text and told him to call when he had a moment so I could walk him through what was going to take place that afternoon.  Remember – we thought she had a bladder infection.  All women now know where I’m going with this.  I explained the “hat” they’d put on the toilet.  I explained how he’d get the towelette and the direction he needed to wipe.  I told him to be extra patient with her and promise her the moon and the stars to get her to go.  He acted like a pro and said “I got it.”  Part of me wanted to leave work so I could handle it, part of me wanted him to deal with it and all of me wanted to be fly on the wall to see what would happen with the two of them in the bathroom at the doctors office. 

When Jay called me after the appointment he said our doctor was shocked when he walked in the room and saw that Jay was by himself.  He couldn’t believe that Jay had braved that kind of an appointment without me.  Jay said “yeah, my wife said you’d have a hat to put on the toilet, but you were out.”  “I had to hold the cup for her!”  The doctor was really impressed with that.  He said there was no way he could’ve done that.  Which as a side note I thought was kind of weird.  He’s a doctor but he gathering urine makes him cringe?? 

That evening when I asked Jay about how it all went he said it was fine except that gathering the urine was like a moving target.  I said “welcome to the world of being a girl.”  Apparently Camryn was not too traumatized by it all.  Afterwards they went to Sonic to get the slushie Jay promised her.

She did not have a bladder infection, but she was running a low grade fever while they were there.  The doctor thought one ear might be a shade redder than the other but it wasn’t time to call it an infection yet.  Today she woke up saying something was in her ear.  Thankfully we have a low key weekend ahead of us to rest and recover!!!  

Why We Are Done With Pets!!!!

I’ve seen a pattern developing the last couple of times we’ve had pets.  We either have them for a very short amount of time….or we have them forever.  Charlie has been irritating Jay for 8 years this past Christmas, but any of our other pets don’t seem to make it past three months.  Do you all remember Sadie? (Make sure you click the link to see the pictures. I forgot how little and cute she was and how tiny Cade was sniff sniff)  Yeah, I hardly do either.  She was with us only about three months.  Then there were Lucy and Blackie.  I think they topped out at two months….and oh what a dramatic two months it was….

One thing to remember about this story - Jay and I grew up on farms.  Unless an animal was making you money you never, ever called the vet.  In fact Charity and I were only allowed male cats while growing up because that meant Dad and my 2 uncles could neuter them themselves.  We probably had a couple of cats that did end up at the vet but it was few and far between.  I know Jay was also raised the same way.  Vets were only called in the case of stuck calves or something of the sort.  And they were usually only called after all the resources at the farm had been exhausted.  Then we got the kittens…      

Within the first week we thought the cats ate mouse poison due to the appearance of blood in their litter box.  That caused Jay to have to take them to school and lock them in the greenhouse.  It also caused him to have to call the vet about it.  I think in Jay’s world every call to the vet puts a dent in his manhood armor.  Having to call the vet about two little kittens took a chunk out of it.  The vet told us to feed them hydrogen peroxide until they puked.  We fed it to them, we never knew if they puked but somehow they survived. 

Then less than two weeks later we had another tragedy.  It was supposed to snow that Sunday evening/Monday morning so I moved the van in to the garage.  Monday morning I was loading my stuff in the van and calling “here kitty kitty” so I could catch them before I backed the van out.   Well I have a tendency to shut my van doors pretty hard and unfortunately like his name suggests, Blackie was black and I didn’t see him trying to jump in the passenger side of the van.  I slammed the van door on his head.  He fell down and started having a seizure.  About the time I’m staring open mouthed at the cat Jay opens the door and starts to walk into the garage with Camryn.  I told him I thought I had killed Blackie.  He says “Oh my Gosh” then  we all three stand there watching this cat have a seizure.  Camryn kept saying over and over is he dead?  I think he’s dead.  Is he dead? Yeah, he’s dead.

 Finally Jay told me to get Camryn out of there.  I loaded her in the van and backed out then Jay and I tried to decide what to do.  I said we couldn’t leave him there to die by himself.  I told Jay to take him to the vet.  Jay loaded up the cat,  who had all four limbs jutting out at different angles,  and did as his wife asked.  When I got back in the van Camryn said something about Blackie being dead but at least we still had Lucy.  I was traumatized all day but I was never sure if it was because of what I had done or the fact that Camryn saw her dying cat and it didn’t bother her in the slightest. 

Several hours later I got a phone call from Jay.  The vet had diagnosed Blackie as having a severe neurological trauma.  When I got home that night I thought there was no way that cat was going to make it.  He couldn’t even walk straight.  Camryn kept asking if Blackie was dead or alive.  Jay’s manhood armor got multiple dings that day….he carried in a kitten, in a kitten basket, to the vet and left with 21 days of steroids he was responsible for giving the cat.  He knew there was no way Cade and I were going to be able to doctor the cat.  He also wasn’t too happy about the dent that was left in his wallet. 

Then less than 6 weeks later tragedy struck again.  Cade called and texted me numerous times because he was at home and something was wrong with Lucy (his cat).  I was able to get ahold of Jay and he checked on it.  He called me back and confirmed something was in deed wrong with the cat.  I got home and thought maybe she had been injured somehow because  her back legs weren’t working.  We put her in the laundry room in a basket and kept her there overnight.  I told Cade if she made it through the night we’d take her to the vet the next morning. 

She somehow made it though the night even though I didn’t think she looked good.  Then Cade went out to feed Blackie and found him the same way.  It was like they couldn’t control their bodies.  When I say it was funny, I’m not referring the fact the cats were sick – that was awful.  But when Cade carried in Blackie and I saw the shape he was in I realized later I said “well add him to the basket.”  Jay was in the shower so after I picked the lock on the bathroom door (I can’t imagine why he locked us out of the bathroom that day) I told him what was going on.  We both felt bad because we were afraid it was mouse poison again. 

That morning Jay had to carry a laundry basket with two kittens into the vets office.  He  told them that if they couldn’t do anything  for them put them to sleep.  That morning Cade asked if all cats needed this much doctoring.  Jay responded with “only ours.”    Later in the day he got a call that Lucy had died but Blackie was stable.  The vet did make us feel better because he said there was no way that was mouse poison because it caused them to do “psychedelic things”.  Vets words exactly. But then we wondered what in the world did they get in to?  The only thing Jay could find was a bottle of cattle wormer that had fallen down.  We wondered if they had somehow eaten that?

Later on that evening Blackie also passed away.  I was on the phone with my sister when Jay and Cade found him.  I had been wondering all day how to handle the death thing but Cade took care of that while I was still on the phone.  He told Camryn Blackie had died.  Her response – “Again?!”  So that was a little comic relief for the evening. 

The next morning Jay and I were looking at the itemized vet bill.  They had charged us a $25 cremation fee for Lucy.  Jay asked me if he called the vet and told them we’d take Lucy back did I think  they’d credit $25 back on our card?  I wasn’t sure.  I kind of forgot about it until later in the week.  I asked if he ever called the vet.  He said he decided not to.  He thought it was probably a little weird and then the vets office would talk and laugh about him for awhile….as opposed to how they already were??? 

Then just a week and a day later Jay made an appointment with the same vet to preg check our Mini Hereford (not a common breed).  I don’t know if the vet had to get on his knees.  Later the same day he had to call the vet to pull one of Bonnie’s pigs (not a common occurrence).  This is also the same vet that Jay talked into ultrasounding Bonnie a year ago to see if she was bred (definitely abnormal for SW Mo).  It probably wouldn’t have mattered if Jay had called the office to see about getting a refund on his dead cat.  There’s a good chance we were already being laughed at.  

When I told my dad this whole story all he could say was “you mean you took them to the vet?”  When I told Jay that he asked if I had told dad that it was all my idea to take them?   There went a whole chunk of the manhood armor.  All for two free kittens.              

Jay and his Barn of Many Colors

Over Christmas break Jay and Cade built a barn to put Bonnie in when she farrowed. I know when I say barn you might be conjuring up some red thing trimmed in white sitting on a hill. Or maybe just a three sided building covered in tin.

I'm not sure your mind went to this....

This is Jays pride and joy. Aside from the concrete he had to pour the rest of this only cost him a couple of hundred $$. He built it with leftover scraps and a $30 pile of lumber he bought at an auction. I think the biggest investment was in the nails and screws. We jokingly call it farming on a $0 budget but I do believe there is a little part of Jay that enjoys making stuff from nothing. Anyone can build a barn... But the real story is taking scrap lumber and cutting your own 2x4's then covering it with 3 different colors of tin. That my friends takes real talent.  And that is how a farrowing house is born. Thank goodness for wooded lots that hide this from the general public. 

But the farrowing hose served its purpose. Bonnie had her pigs exactly one year to the day of our last litter. Thankfully the date was the only thing in common. This went much better. Jay stayed with her all night the first night and we had no pigtastrophes. The only problem was that the last pig got stuck. He end d up calling the vet to have him pull the pig. Later on that day it dawned on me.. Within a week the vet had pulled a pig (not common) preg checked a mini Hereford and saw our drugged cats (another story). I'm sure he wondered what kind of opeartion we were running. 

Blog Catch Up

I There are so many things that I need to blog about...shutting the cats head in my van door, Bonnie having another litter of pigs, Jay's barn, killing both cats on the same day from an unknown substance, the vet preg checking our mini Hereford, the vet pulling a pig, etc.  Where do I start??

I think I will back up and document Christmas 2014. 

Our first Christmas was celebrated the Saturday before with the Shepherds. We wore our ugly sweaters!!  Except for Camryn and Hilly. Little girls don't wear ugly sweaters. 

It was also Cade's first time to see his new baby cousin Hilly. I think he was pretty taken with her. He asked me if seeing Hilly made me want another baby. He seemed shocked when I said it in fact made me feel the opposite.  She is sweet to hold but at the end of the day she goes home with someone else.  Some day when he is staring at 38 it will make sense. 

And because it why would you not try out your new waders in a stock tank with a camel looking on. I can't make this stuff up. Luckily we have the picture for proof. 

The next day we celebrated with Dad and Lynn. We started out at the church Christmas program. I invited my own kids to be in it. Hey, it's one advantage of a small church. I wanted my kids to be in a program with their cousins. And they were pretty cute. 

Then we went to Papa Kerry's and Lynn's newly remodeled house 

That afternoon we decorated Gingerbread houses. Or mostly I decorated and Camryn asked to help. I was good with that as long as she put the stuff where I wanted it....

The weekend after Christmas we went to Oklahoma City to celebrate with my mom and Steve. That meant me, my sister and 4 kids. In our van. Big fun!!! We had a good time. And like normal I got very few pictures. 

Make sure you keep reading for the Christmas Eve/Day post.