Thursday, September 9, 2010

Fingerprints Never Change….

and apparently neither does my stress level this time of year.

Over the last few days I looked back at some of my posts concerning our home study and the two updates we've done since September 2007. A common theme is that my stress level goes through the roof. I try to stay calm, but it seems to become overwhelming with all the scheduling that has to take place. At least this year we didn't have to do the medical exams because that quadruples my anxiety. You have to get it all fit in around your own personal schedule and this year we've added football practice and the ice business to the mix. Plus Jay's normal schedule of teacher meetings and running the football concession stand….it makes me a bit crazy.

Last Tuesday morning (August 31) I woke up at 3 am and all I could think about was the financial paperwork I needed to fill out. Where were our statements? When was the last time I saw anything on Jay's retirement fund? What about the truck – where is our last statement on that? Have I got one recently? Why did the county change our road number? I don't think I'm getting my mail…No, I'm positive I'm not getting everything, how much should I say the ice business is worth? What about the cattle, what are they worth? Is Jay asleep? I have to remember to ask him about this tomorrow? Would he mind if I asked him now? Why have I not changed our road number on all of our bills yet? FINGERPRINTS, oh my gosh I have to schedule that appointment, Can I get online and get Jay's retirement balance? How much should I say the house is worth? What did I put down last year? I think I'll go with that same value, What about debts..have we acquired anything new? Oh crap, that stupid furniture we bought for Cade that we don't need now. Boy, I really got mad at Hanks. I will never again shop for any furniture at that place. Oh the irritation of paying for that furniture when we have a perfectly good set shoved in different closets all over this house, We have some Icebox events coming up, how can I schedule this around those dates? When will I get the house cleaned for the visit? Do we need more sugar? How many bags did we buy last time? The Icebox account – when will we get a new statement on that? Should I send Jay to the bank to get a printout so I can include that as an asset?….That line of thinking went on for two hours. Finally at 5 am I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and rummaged through every basket in the kitchen and the computer cabinet looking for the information. Luckily I found most of everything that I needed and yes, I was able to get Jay's retirement balance on the internet.

When I got to work that morning I made the fingerprint appointment and everything was going so smoothly. Then Jay tells me he has a teachers meeting that night so I had to reschedule his appointment. Still everything is good. Then Tuesday happened and I had to schedule both our appointments for Wednesday the 15th. Then I got the e-mail from Clydene so I had to reschedule the rescheduled appointment for yesterday. I had printed off the proof that we had paid online for Jay's fingerprints because of originally rescheduling it, but didn't think about printing off mine. In the four times I've had this done I've never had a problem. Until last night…

There was a skinny boy with a ponytail working at the fingerprint place. We had a hard time finding the Springfield location so that had me stressed. Then we get in there and tell them who we are and they tell us we haven't paid. I will admit that I lost my cool at that moment and probably said a little too loudly and excitedly that "OH YES WE HAVE PAID". I dug out Jay's receipt but I didn't have mine. I told Ponytail that I had also paid. In a very patronizing voice he says "It says you have not paid, it is my job to ask if you have paid, you say you've paid but yet you only have proof that you paid for one, how do I know that you paid". At that point I turned my back on him and called the company. I was not going to listen to him any longer because he kept talking on and on in the same irritating voice. Because of us changing appointments it didn't transfer over that we had paid. It took the company awhile to find it, but finally it was all taken care of. That was a relief because I was afraid I might have a melt down right there in the Mailbox It backroom. I don't think Ponytail liked me much. I just hope he didn't hit delete after I walked out!

Jay was pretty quiet through the whole incident. I really wasn't sure whose side he was on. When we got to the car he did say he thought he was going to have to grab Ponytail by the ponytail and make him scan my prints. Luckily no one had to use physical force last night. But then Jay made a fatal error, one that it will take him quite some time to live down. He said "what were you thinking by not printing the receipt". I'd like to direct everyone's attention back to paragraph two. What am I not thinking about right now? As soon as the words were out of his mouth I'm pretty sure he regretted it. I let him know that next time he was more than welcome to fill out all the paperwork and make the appointments and did I need to remind him that he had not told me about that teachers meeting so I had to reschedule his appointment a grand total of three times. Yes, the phrase "what were you thinking" will be brought up frequently for the next few weeks.

Later that night I asked Jay if I ever look as crazy as I feel during this time of the year. He said I was close to looking deranged while getting the fingerprints done, but most of the other times I'm ok. That's good to know. I also realized that Cade was really quiet during that time. I'm not sure he sensed that his mother was about to go off the deep end or what. Jay said it was because he was reading a comic book.

I wonder what kind of repressed memories Cade has that will hit him one day as an adult. Will he remember the time I lost my mind at the fingerprint place? I just hope that when that memory does surface he'll be able to call his brother/sister and say "you know, I just remembered the last time mom and dad were fingerprinted for your adoption, mom really lost her mind that day" or "I also remember mom losing her mind at Hanks one day when they couldn't find the part to my new bed for the second time" (do you see a common theme with the times I've totally lost it?). Then I hope they are able to laugh over the crazy things I did while they were growing up and the nutty conversation that one of them had with me that morning. I have that with my sister, I so want that for Cade.

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