Every year for the past several years my mom, Charity and all the kids have gone to Branson for a weekend sometime during the summer. Every trip is an adventure. Every year Jay asks why I continue to go. For one I keep thinking each year will be better and secondly it is definitly a memory maker....good and bad.
We've delt with Avery's eye swelling shut and spending time at urgent care and then waiting on a prescription for 4 hours....Avery falling through the back of a bench and getting stuck. I think everyone thought I was terrible but I was laughing so hard I could barely help get her unstuck. That was the year it rained most of the time...trying different restaurants that always turn into disaster. Always. Those are a few of the highlights.
This year was no exception. Except this year instead of keeping up with Cade I was keeping up with Camryn. It's been awhile for me to be in this situation. I'm also 9 years older than I was when I was chasing Cade in Branson. I'm totally rethinking our vacation plans. Cade decided he was too old to be on the girl's weekend so he stayed home. Probably the best for him.
Friday night was ok. We went to a kiddie ride area. Camryn was too short for any of the rides so she learned about those rides that cost $.25-$.50 and she didn't appreciate when they quit moving. That made her mad. Then she wanted to run down a steep incline. All I could see was a skinned nose. Keeping her away from that was a full time job. Oh, I should also mention it's been HOT here! Finally mom and I were done so we walked back to our room with Lawson and Camrym....up and down the hills in their strollers. We also stopped for ice cream for the kids - but Camryn wouldn't eat hers (surprise surprise).
Saturday was an ok day until we got to the Landing that night. It was crowded. We picked the first restaurant we came to because it didn't look too busy. Mistake #1. We didn't mean to be high maintenance but that seems to follow us around. They took our drink order then we waited at least 15 minutes and no one came back with the drinks. Lawson was upset because he was thirsty. Charity finally went to the drink station to see if we could get our drinks. That caused the manager to come over and check with us. Then Charity ordered fries for her kids to share. Lawson got restless so she took him outside. We must've made the waiter nervous because he kept trying to pick the trash up off our table. Poor guy....I let Camryn play with the sweetner/sugar holder because it was keeping her occupied. It was all great until she stuffed about 5 of them in her mouth. The waiter picked up those wet. soppy, nasty, kid spit packets with his bare hands. I bet her won't be ask quick to pick trash up off a table with kids again....not to mention it is a loosing battle. He was either new or had no idea about kids because when I asked for extra napkins (before our food came) he kind of glanced at our unused napkins and said ok....Newbie.
When they brought us our food it was someone else delivering it. I noticed there were no fries so I asked about them. He said they would be out in a bit. Then the manager came over to make sure we had everything, mom told her we were missing the fries. Then the waiter came back to make sure everything looked ok and refill Avery's drink. Mom said something about we were just waiting on the fries. Charity was getting back to the table with Lawson as the waiter came back with the refill. We hadn't had a chance to explain about the fries. She asked the waiter again about them. We laughed about it because we asked 4 times about those fries. I'm sure we were marked as the trouble table of the evening. Then Charity tasted he Ceaser Salad. They used fish oil for the dressing. It was awful. She ate a little of it but then couldn't eat any more. I tasted it and it definitely tasted like fish. Mom did ask our waiter if it was supposed to be made with fish oil....he didn't know what we were talking about. At that point mom asked for the ticket so we could get out of here. We walked around for awhile before anyone noticed that I had Camryn sized pot roast fingerprints on my back.
As we were walking around the landing Camryn was in one of those moods where she was so tired she didn't know what she wanted - except she didn't want to do what she was supposed to do. I don't know how many times she sat down in the middle of the sidewalk and dramatically cried. I was exhausted. Finally we were about ready to leave the Landing but we were going to get Orange Leaf first. I saw a table outside big enough for us so I made a beeline for it. I noticed there was a group of skinny teenage girls wearing too short of shorts coming out of Orange Leaf and heading for the same table. Technically it was a tie between me and one of the teenagers, except I sat down first and wasn't going to budge. I heard one of them say as they walked away "I guess we got our table stolen". Under normal circumstances I try to not be rude but like I told my mom they weren't chasing a crying one year old. Someday when they have kids of their own they will understand - I also wanted to yell at them they were going to have to give up those short shorts and go to Maxi Dresses when that times comes.
If the night hadn't already been picture perfect this is where it started to go downhill even faster. When Mom and Charity sat down with their yogurt I was ready to get mine when I realized I didn't have my wallet. Mom had paid for dinner so this was the first time I had needed it. Of course I got that sick feeling. Then I remembered I had gone through a drive thru earlier to get milk. I hoped maybe I had forgot to put it back in the diaper bag. Camryn wouldn't stay with mom so she walked with me so I could check my car. Did I mention we were in the gravel lot at the Landing??? We got to the end of the Landing and Camryn had settled down so she stayed there with mom while I raced to the car. My wallet was in the front seat. Whew.
We went back to Orange Leaf and Charity and her kids were just leaving. They decided to walk by the lake on the way back to their car. I got my yogurt and mom and I were heading back to the hotel together. She was going to stay in the car with Camryn so I could get milk. Camryn was so tired and fussy. We tried to put her in her stroller and she wouldn't stay. Finally about half way through the Landing I picked her up for the 500th time. We got almost to the parking lot and I looked down and saw Camryn was wearing 1 shoe. I say this not to sound snotty but so you will fully understand my pain...she was wearing her $32 dollar, only white sandals I could find to fit her fat feet and still be able to walk in them, Striderite sandals. Ticked doesn't begin to describe what I felt. If I was a cartoon character I would've had the drawing above my head with all the scribbles. I threw Camryn at mom and took out to retrace our steps. Finally I saw it at about the area where I had got her out of the stroller the last time. I must've had a crazed out of control look because I saw a woman stop and stare at the sandal then she saw me and asked if it was mine. When I got back to mom she said that about 4 people had stopped to tell her that they saw the sandal but they hadn't wanted to pick it up because they knew we'd be coming back for it, which I appreciate. I'm sure the red faced screaming toddler wearing one white shoe with a grandma trying to circle the stroller was pretty obvious.
I was exhausted and sweating profusely by this point. I had on a Maxi Dress that had chocolate yogurt down the front, it had something wet on the bottom (not sure about that), I had finger prints on my back, my hair was stuck to my head like it does when I get hot and I was done. As we were walking across the parking lot and Camryn threw down her paci I was almost to my breaking point. I wanted to just sit down and never move again.
I was the perfect picture of someone to put on a Sex Ed poster....Abstinence - the only way to avoid looking like this when you are 15....Actually next year we should hire a filmmaker to follow us around all weekend. It would be a great anti-sex film for schoools. 48 hours of screaming kids....and no short shorts in sight!
