Thursday, May 13, 2010

Embryo Adoption Questions…

I've had a few questions about Embryo Adoption, which is great!! I love answering questions about it, but there are a few things I feel like I need to make more clear about it. If anyone has any questions about it or the process please feel free to e-mail me or leave a comment. I'm really not to shy about answering anything related to our infertility because the more people know and understand about it, the better it is for those going through it.

Embryo Adoption is exactly what it sounds like – we are adopting an embryo(s) that are from another couple. These, babies who are in storage right now, are more than likely left over from an In-Vitro (IVF) cycle(s). These couples are willing to do something that I don't know that I could do – they are donating them so these babies can have a chance at life and couples can have the chance to grow their families.

One thing I've been asked a lot is if these babies will be half Jay. Not sure why people assume I'm the one with the problem! Ha Ha, but the answer is NO. The embryos that will be implanted will not be genetically related to either one of us. It's just like what would happen in an adoption, except we would get the baby sooner. No genetic ties whatsoever.

I think some of this misconception comes from not knowing or incorrectly using the reproductive terms. You have an Egg and a Sperm and when they meet it becomes the Embryo. I've had to correct Jay a few times because I've heard him use these terms incorrectly in relation to cattle. And he's not the only one I've heard. So when you flush a cow, you are getting embryos – not eggs (or at least that's what the cattleman is hoping for). The eggs are already fertilized and what's being flushed out should be the embryos (like Buttons). So those of you who flush cattle if I hear you using the wrong term I'll correct you!!! Only because the best way for us to explain this process is to make sure everyone is one the same page with using the terms correctly. And if one of these embryos sticks and becomes a baby it will be vitally important to them for all of us to understand how they came to be in our family.

And I have to include this conversation between Cade and I last Friday. The first time I saw him after we got back was Friday morning on his field trip. I took him home with me after we were done so the first thing he asked when he got in the car was why we had gone to Tennessee. We hadn't discussed anything with him earlier, he hadn't asked so we never volunteered why. I didn't quite know what to say when he asked because Jay and I hadn't talked about what we were going to tell him. I didn't want to just say it was a doctors appointment because I was afraid that would worry him. I ended up trying to approach it in Buttons terms.

Me: Well we are going to try to get a baby like Sally had Buttons.

Cade: A baby for who?

Me: Us

Cade: Why?

Me: Well, because we still want a baby so we are going to try this

Cade: How are the babies made

Me: (at this point I didn't know what to say, we haven't explained reproduction to him and we aren't too interested in doing it yet) Uh..the babies are made in test tubes…

Cade: But I thought God made babies.

Me: Uh, yeah, well, uhm…So did you have a great time on your field trip?

I got the conversation diverted for the time being. I'm sure it will whirl around in his brain and come out again at another inopportune time.



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