Birthday Update

I had planned on writing about this birthday planning story earlier in the week. But then I had the whole pant thing happen and I wanted to record it for our memories. Then I had the adoption breakdown yesterday so today I'll tell about the latest on Cade's party……

Last Friday I had planned on emailing Janella about the cake. Then I realized that Cade and I had not really discussed what we wanted to put on the cake. I had thought a football for sure, but then I didn't know if he wanted to add an Arrowhead and a Razorback. I was ok with adding those two to the cake, I just didn't want to commit to a full fledged combo of the two, especially with my paper supplies. Too much red.

So Friday night I brought up the cake while we were eating dinner. For some reason the day's mail was on the table and Jay could not keep himself from flipping through a sale ad of something that he had no intention of buying. He had some sort of weird obsession that night with reading every piece of junk mail that came that day. In fact I said a couple of things to him but he was so intent on the mail that he didn't hear me. I gave up and asked Cade about the cake and started to tell him my idea. All of a sudden, while still flipping through the sale ad, Jay pipes up and says the cake was taken care of. He said it in such a way that it implied it really wasn't a big deal. And he just kept on turning pages in the sale ad. I almost quit breathing – the cake was ordered and we had not talked about what would be on the cake. So I tried to get his attention away from the sale ad to find out what had been ordered. Jay said Oh, it's a Razorback…again not a big deal to him. My mind flashed to the color issue…and the stuff I had ordered had different NFL teams and we were just going to throw some Razorback down on the table. Deep Breaths, Deep Breaths. I asked why he ordered a Razorback. He said that Janella called him for a 4-H issue and since she was on the phone already he decided to take care of the cake. He asked Cade what he wanted so that's how we ended up with the Razorback. I can imagine that phone call…It probably took place in the truck…Janella called and instead of wiping one thing off her to do list she got to add another…Jay probably had to pause in the conversation to ask Cade what he wanted which then would've led to another big pause while Cade thought about it…then to speed up the process Jay would've thrown out the Razorback idea…Cade would've agreed and it would be ordered. Cake ordering was wiped off of Jay's to do list, the matter was temporarily forgotten ...until I found out about it. Then I had lots of questions that Jay wasn't sure about…what size did you order, when are we picking it up, what day will it be ready, etc. I was trying to adjust my thinking to the Razorback idea – since that was what Cade wanted I was going to make myself be ok with it. But then Cade must've known I was unsure about my whole decorating scheme because he said "Well, actually I like your idea". Jay just shrugged his shoulders and kept looking at his sale ad. I think he is used to me getting a little crazy this time of year. It doesn't phase him anymore. I emailed Janella Monday and got the details lined out on the cake.

The other issue we are having is who/# of kids to invite over. My first plan was to have Cade pick 1 friend. I would take Cade and this one friend to do something that day and then they'd stay for the party and spend the night. Then Cade wanted to stretch it to 2. I wasn't as crazy about taking 3 boys into public by myself, but I thought I could make it work. Then I felt guilty about leaving out another boy so I thought about adding another one, but then I started running out of seatbelts and safe places to put kids in my car. Now I don't know what to do with them all….me alone all day with 4 boys seems like a good way to give me a nervous breakdown…especially while getting ready for a party. But I'd have to take out a loan to take them to the movies, but yet I can't tie any of them to the trunk of the car so there is no way to even get them there. THEN last night Cade mentioned adding another boy. My head was about to explode so I told him we'd table that discussion until a later date. Five boys in my home for the day. I must be a weak parent because the thought of that makes me kind of crazy. I am so used to the 2 on 1 parenting style that 1 on 5 sounds terrifying. Since Jay will be at a FFA contest in Mac County that day he's decided to step out of this planning and do the classic "I'll be gone so you do what you think is best" thing – which I'm wise to that trick, because I've used it myself. It really means "I don't want to make a decision about this so I'm leaving it up to you".

Things like this happen to me all the time. I have no idea at what point I tend to loose control of situations….you start things out small and the next thing you know your ordering 8 identical red dresses for wedding attendants and Jay's running out of men to have stand up with him…or you find yourself out in the backyard twisting the tail of a cow and pushing on her rump while staring at a hog house in the woods while an annoying dog barks around your ankles…or your driving all over Joplin trying to chase down the helium tank that did not get delivered to the school as promised so that you can air up the balloons that you purchased for your child's first birthday party….or you decide that just changing up the mantle decorations is not enough so you buy 14 yards of material for new curtains and then decide that new pillows would also be a good thing and then think that putting piping on the pillows would be even better so then your setting up a sweat shop in your living room and enlisting the help of your mother so that you can get it done before the 4 little boys and the rest of your family converge on your house….I could go on and on about all the times I've lost control of situations. That's probably why I freaked out a little about the cake….