Annoyed…and thankful

I've stumbled onto some adoption blogs lately that have highly annoyed me. Why? I'm honestly not sure….Some annoy me by the way they talk about adoption…some annoy me by the way they so boldly announce how many weeks until the baby they are matched with is due…complete with baby's name (weird!)…some of the comments left really annoy me because they don't know what they are talking about even when I think they should know what they are saying. I understand comments from people who know nothing about adoption asking questions, but good grief if you admit to being a waiting family you should not find the fact that an agency encourages an expecting family to wait until at least the 7-8 month of pregnancy to start looking at profiles "interesting". I'm annoyed because so many of them either waited exactly 9 months for a placement or they strongly believe it will only take a few months…I'm also annoyed that they refer to themselves as "preggers on paper"…which the term preggers already annoys me so putting it with "on paper" doubly annoys me. …even though I haven't read it yet I'm sure at least one of them needed exactly $1, 678.14 to complete their adoption fund and today they walked out to the mail and there was a check for that exact amount down to the penny waiting for them.

And I know that me being annoyed by all of these positive people thanking God for their blessings of babies, and short waits, and checks with exact amounts needed sounds so crabby of me. And I know that I don't know their whole stories so I don't know they pain they have endured…but most of them haven't even been married for as long as we've been trying for #2 so even that annoys me…BUT how easy is it to thank God and praise Him when everything seems to go so smoothly with adoption?

I think maybe that is what is annoying me. And I don't want to say this and it sound like I'm a horrible person, but I'm so tired of the sticky sweet gagging blogs I've read about adoption. I'm tired of those matched after a short period of time going on and on about how great God is and how those of us still waiting need to be patient because He really does have a plan in mind. That last line really annoyed me because they've only been married for about the same amount of time Jay and I have been working with BCS.

So we are waiting, we've been waiting for a loooong time, we've put our hearts and our profiles out there a million times and had them broke about every time, things have definitely not been easy for us, I still get nervous every time I know our profile is being shown and I still shed a tear or two when we aren't picked… But God is still good . He has still blessed us over and over even when we don't deserve it. Even when I'm not getting my way I can say thank you God for what you've done for me. I can even thank Him for this horribly long wait because I've learned so much about adoption and myself. I'm not a sticky sweet kind of person so this is the best I can do – God is good all the time!!! And I definitely know he has a plan for all of this and I am OK with that.

And I'm so glad I never referred to myself as "preggers on paper" because you all realize I could've give birth to an elephant 1.5 times by now….