Some regrets of a closed adoption

Camryn is a smart little girl.  I know all parents think their kids are smart, so I'm not saying that to brag. I'm also not saying she is going to be a genius someday, because she may just be reaching her peak quicker than other kids - but right now she seems to be very intelligent.  I think it is her advanced vocabulary that makes her seem so smart.  I'm amazed at the words and phrases she uses and they are pretty clear. 

I've been thinking about her adoption more and more lately.  I kind of went through a period of needing to step away from it for awhile and just be a normal family.  But I'm quickly realizing that she is picking up on things so quickly that we've got to start getting serious about talking about adoption with her.  It has to become something that isn't our main focus, all we live and breathe sort of thing, but more like something that is just there and we are comfortable with.... something that is a part of Camryn, like her blue eyes and blonde hair.  Since we are in a closed adoption and we don't even have a picture of her birthmom it makes all of this more challenging. 

The fact that Camryn is so smart actually makes me sad for her birthparents.  If she is smart then you know at least one of them is very intelligent.  I really think that circumstances beyond their control kept them from reaching their full potential.  That is what makes me sad....I'm sad for them maybe not knowing or believing how smart they really are....I'm sad for them that they can't see this awesome litte girl and know that no matter how wrong things might be for them she is so perfect.  It makes me sad that there are kids who don't get to grow up in households like Jay and I did.  Every time I read those short situation emails I'd think "But by the grace of God...."  So many of those were due in part to their situations and the home lives they'd had and probably that their own parents and even grandparents had growing up.  I'd love to be able to show Camryn to her birthparents and let them see how perfect she is.  I'd love to show them her blonde hair and blue eyes and say look how adorable she is - that is part of you!!

I know there is the nature vs nurture debate with adopted kids. Regardless of what side of the fence you are on with that - her birth parents are responsible for her genetics. Yes, we (hopefully) have brought out the best of her...well us and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse . But the basics came from them. I just pray that somehow God gives them a peace about Camryn and they know she is well loved, well taken care of and never lacks for attention. I also still hope that someday they may get to know all of this personally.

We are also trying to make more of an effort to talk about adoption with her. It is really hard when you work and get home and do dinner and clean up and homework, etc to purposely remember to talk about it. I already struggle with remembering to feed the kids when Jay is gone :) I've been looking at adoption books for awhile but haven't bought any because she was still young enough but it is time!!! Hopefully my first order will be in today. I'm looking forward to reading them to her. But we do have a photo album I've made of her adoption and we
look at that frequently. I show her the picture of us holding her the 1st time and explain how she grew in Courtney's tummy.

I know there is a quote by someone famous who said in response to the question of which kids of theirs were adopted....they said "I don't even remember". I can completely relate to that.