About the adoption – We do have a closed adoption. That was at the request of Camryn’s birthfamily. I always figured we would have at least a semi-open or even a fully open adoption because that is becoming more and more common. I’m having to readjust my thinking a little since we are in a closed adoption. There are pros and cons to either way so we will make the best of it. For me right now one of the biggest questions I have is how we will relay to her that she is adopted. If you have regular contact with the family I can see how that makes explaining it easier. I’ve got some ideas floating around so we’ll see how that works out. At least I’ve got some time! We do hope that at some point her birthfamily will contact us.
What we do know – We do have a pretty complete health history on both birthparents. I know that’s always a big question for most people. We are fortunate that both parents were involved in the adoption so we have that information for both of them. We also know some other personal information that we are going to save for Camryn. We will honor their wishes for the adoption to remain closed. If Camryn wants to contact them when she is older we will give her the information we have and then support her in every way we can.
About the blog – I had wondered what to do about the blog once we got Camryn. Should I make I private? Should I not show pictures of her out of respect for her birthfamily? I’ve seen it done a variety of ways over the years. I’ve decided to leave it the way it is. It’s as much about our family as it is adoption. Camryn is part of the family so I will include her. My other reasoning for this is I’m not sure how much the birthfamily knows about us. I don’t know if they know what we named her or what our names are. I guess I have hope that maybe they do know her name and if someday that decide they’d like to know how she is but don’t feel up to contacting the agency maybe they would stumble across this blog? I know that’ s a longshot, but who knows. We don’t fear them at all and I would love for them to know how wonderful she is.
About her name – We’ve also had some questions about her name. Yes, Camryn is probably a little more unusual than some names. Jay and I had never discussed girl names so we had to pick one in a very short amount of time. We went to the hospital with a list of a few that we were going to try out on her – Camryn was one of them. Charity actually came up with Cade’s name in the beginning of my pregnancy so I told Charity to submit some of her favorite girl C names. Camryn was also on her list so it seemed like it was meant to be. It took me awhile to actually give her that name. The nurses asked me several times what we were naming her and I would tell them we hadn’t decided. Finally on Sunday, before we could leave, we had to name her. It was very scary putting a name on a baby we weren’t sure was going to be ours. Her middle name is Lee, which was Jay’s grandmother’s maiden name. Both Cade and Camryn have middle names that come from their great-grandparents. Cade’s middle name is Ewing. Camryn’s birthmom’s name does start with a C so I may refer to her as C from time to time. Or maybe I should pick another letter? We’ve got a lot of C’s running around here!
How she is doing – She is such a wonderful baby. She is sleeping 4-6 hours at night and after she eats she goes back to sleep. She is so calm and doesn’t seem to get too upset about anything except bath time. Bath time makes her very mad. She has a cry that ends in a pig snort which is so cute I don’t mind when she gets mad. I’m sure that part of the reason Camryn is such an easy baby is that Jay and I are much more relaxed than we were 9 years ago. I look back at things I did to poor Cade and I feel really bad and think man, was I dumb! Also, being a mother at 34 vs 25 is a different experience. I’m just relaxing and trying to enjoy every moment with her because the 9 year old proof is right in front of me that it goes way too fast (Cade has grown almost 2 inches in 3 months).
How Cade is adjusting – So far he is still thrilled with his sister . We haven’t seen any jealously or anything along those lines from him. He will still crawl in my lap so sometimes I have both of them and it’s great! He spent the night with Jay’s parents this week and he told them he missed Camryn but he didn’t miss us! Yesterday she did have a fussy period for about an hour and I think it was the first time she irritated him. He told me he was tired of her crying! I'm sure that was the first of many times she will manage to annoy him. Another funny thing is this picture. I wanted a picture to put in our company newsletter so I had Cade wear one that coordinated with Camryn's dress. As soon as the picture was done Cade had to change. We were going to the library and it was too embarassing to wear the same color clothes! I guess the matching outfit boat sailed years ago!
1 comment:
I enjoy your updates. Your daughter just fits right in. You mentioned not knowing how to talk to her about being adopted. I recomend the getting the book, Life Books, Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child by Beth O'Malley. It gives really good examples for creating a life book that differs from a baby book and has more information for her. That is what we plan to do for Josie.
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