The Shepherd's Flock: Again

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Again

As most of you know by now we had another failed placement last week. I will probably have several posts about the experience this week. Obviously there are a lot of things floating around my mind right now. Not only is this a record that I still hope to be able to look back on some day and think "wow, we were going through that and our baby was..." But this is also good therapy for me. Writing about my experiences has always been a way for me to deal with whatever I am going through.

I want to start out all of the posts with a verse from Job I happened to read last week. I decided in 2011 I wanted to read through the Bible. I've tried this before by starting in Genesis and I always get caught around Leviticus. This time I found a plan where it was chronological which means you read Job after you read about Noah. I thought this plan would help me. The last day I read from the plan was on Tuesday morning before I knew anything about Baby C or what the week had in store for us....for some reason this verse really stuck out to me.

Job 2:13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

I know as humans our first instinct is to want to say something profound to those who are suffering or at the very least hopefully not say something stupid. We would like to say the perfect words to ease their pain, but we all know we can't. I've had numerous people tell me over the last year that they don't know what to say. And I want everyone to know that is ok. If it were reversed I know that I would not have the right words to say to you either. I guess I feel like Job in the fact that we are surrounded by friends and family who don't have the words and they don't need to have them - they know how great our suffering is. I know you all hurt for us and you are all praying for us. I know you all were disappointed for us. I also know that you are hurting for Baby C and for his mom right now.

Even if you don't say anything we know...we understand...we feel your prayers....we love you to....

1 comment:

Kelly Pinson said...: I'm so sorry Crystal. That must be so hard. We are praying for your family.; January 10, 2011 at 5:27 PM

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03/02 - Birth of our son after an uneventful pregnancy and delivery

07/05 – Decided we were ready for another baby

06/06 - Had the “we’ve been trying for 12 months” convo with my dr

07/06 – Ultrasound #1 – perfect follicle. Dr thought we just weren’t timing it right.

08/06 – Clear HSG test and good S/A

08/06 – US #2 – perfect follicle, used HCG shot

09/06 – cycle cancelled because of cyst

10/06 – 50 mg Clomid, HCG shot, IUI #1

11/06 – 50 mg Clomid, HCG Shot, IUI #2, Progesterone supplement, Day 20 Progesterone draw came back at 31, doctor told me he was sure I was pregnant

Thanksgiving Day 06 – Chemical Pregnancy

12/06 – 50 mg Clomid – no response

01/07- Attended informational meeting with Agency #1, sent application to them right after, put on waiting list

02/07 – 100 mg Clomid – too many follicles, cycle cancelled

03/07- 50 mg Clomid, HCG Shot, IUI #3, Progesterone supplement

05/07- Got first round of paperwork from agency to start for homestudy

07/07 – Got second round of paperwork

09/07 – Doctors appts and home study interview

10/13/07 – Turned in profile and officially became a waiting family

09/08 – Completed 1st HS update

07/09 – Turned in embryo adoption application to the NEDC

09/09 – Updated medical information for both embryo and adoption home study and had 2nd HS update interview

12/09 – Officially on the NEDC waiting list

02/10 – First ever call about a baby. Failed placement 2 hours before we were to get him.

02/10- Day after failed placement NEDC called and said they had an opening in May

04/10 - Signed with a 2nd adoption agency

05/10- NEDC initial appointment

07/10 – Transferred 3 blasts – negative beta 9 days later

09/10 – 3rd HS update

11/10 – Transferred 3 more blasts – negative beta day before Thanksgiving

01/11 – Another failed placement

05/19/11 - Found out we were matched with our soon to be daughter

6/3/11 - Baby girl is born without complications

6/14/11 - Go to court for TPR, we finally get to bring Camryn Lee home!

Future date we are looking forward to...December 21, 2011 FINALIZATION!!

We were a family of three who was in the infertility/adoption cycle for almost 6 years. During that time we experienced 5 failed treatement cycles, 2 failed adoption placements and the loss of 6 adopted embryos. After officially waiting with our agency for 3 years, 8 months and 1 day we were blessed with the birth and adoption of our daughter Camryn Lee. Our adoption was a long journey, but looking back I know there is nothing I would change. God really worked on me during those years and I'm grateful for that. Every time I look at Cade and Camryn I know that God's timing was absolutely perfect!