And I Forgot To Say…

I needed to add this to the last post.

Jay has been in charge of giving me my Lupron shots. Last night we realized we were out of needles. I lost my mind for a moment. It wasn't a mad lost my mind, it was a crazy lost my mind feeling. I was frantically searching through our bedroom hoping that one escaped somewhere. I bet I looked in the box a million times. I was blaming Caremark, because a person's mail away pharmacy that their insurance requires them to use is always at fault for any type of medication mess up. I kept asking over and over "What are we going to do, really What are we going to do? Can a person just walk into a pharmacy and purchase more needles. WHAT DID WE NEED TO DO? Jay was trying to be the rational one and tell me it will be ok. He'd take care of the needle situation on Friday. I kept saying "yeah, but can you just walk into a pharmacy and buy needles". It was a mess. He said he was going to take in the bottle of Lupron and he's would beg the owner if he had to.

We were desperate so we pulled a needle out that had already been used and boiled it. Like Jay said I was the only one it was used on. I know that, but I worried about bacteria and what not. But the alternative was not getting the shot and risk cancelling the cycle. I went with the bacteria and used the needle. Hopefully my stomach won't rot off. Today Jay walked into our local pharmacy and purchased 10 needles for $3.27….so just FYI, the next time you have the sniffles and aches and have to sign over your firstborn child to buy some Sudafed just remember that anyone can go into a pharmacy and buy needles. I just found that to be strange. Or then again, maybe it's not just anybody, maybe it is a man dragging in his wife's Lupron prescription who's neck is bent at an odd angle so to look them in the eye he had to turn his whole body. Yeah, maybe that was it….

I really think though that the crazies are 20% medication and 80% stress, nerves, hopes, prayers, dreams, longings, etc. It's really a crazy place to be in and probably not many who haven't gone through it completely understand. Even Jay, who's always the optimist, isn't sure what we'll do after this. We are just continuing to pray every day for this cycle. I'm not sure anyone would want to be around me if I had to do this again.