Today......

Yesterday we got an e-mail update from our agency. Year to date there have been 7 placements. That is the highest number we've seen placed since we were officially put in the program October 2007. On one hand it is great to know that 6 (there was a set of twins placed) couples finally had their dreams of becoming parents fulfilled. On the the other hand it is a little stinky because our profile was shown in about all of those situations and we weren't picked. I know the whole spill of that wasn't our baby, God has our baby picked out, etc, but still I question what in the heck is wrong with us???? Seriously....did someone draw moustaches on the pictures in our profile books? Did someone write on the front "these people don't use deodorant". Since I'm such a people pleaser and I don't like for people not to like me - I want to know why these people don't like me. Our Social Worker has assured us many times that our profile looks good, we don't need to change anything but still I wonder....

But not all hope is lost. Also on yesterday's e-mail there are still 4 potential situations where the expectant parents are either looking at profiles or are waiting to look at profiles. We aren't giving up hope yet....In fact we are being shown in two different situations today.

If you have a chance please say a prayer for us and the expectant parents today. The expectant parents are making one of the hardest decisions of their lives today, they need to feel that God is really leading them into what ever decision they make. Jay and I are starting to get pretty discouraged - so patience for us would be a good place to start. Also, please pray for our hearts to be able to take whatever comes of today's situations. It gets harder and harder each time we aren't picked. Even though we know God has His reasons, it's hard not to feel rejected and that we will never ever get to adopt.

Also, another thing I'm having some issues with is what do people think.....I know we shouldn't worry about what others think, but I've thought a lot about it. We've been doing this for so long so do other's think we are still trying to do this? Do they wonder if we were just all talk and never followed through on our plan to adopt? Do they think we are being too picky and will only accept the perfect child? I know if anyone is thinking this they really aren't our close friends so it shouldn't matter but it does. You all know those people in life who are all talk and never follow through on anything. If we never get to adopt will people think that is the way we are? These are just some very minor fears/thoughts/concerns I've been mulling over occasionally.

Looking back on some of these posts since the first of the year they haven't been too funny or entertaining. The weather has got to warm up so I can get some new Jay/Charlie stories to sprinkle in with the semi-depressing nothings changed posts about the adoption.