Blog Backup-Sip & See

On August 7th Charity and my friend Leslie hosted a shower for Camryn. It was so nice to be in the church I grew up in celebrating Camryn's birth with my family and close friends. It was a great day. Thank you Charity and Leslie! I know it was a lot of work, but we really appreciated it.

Unfortunately I forgot our camera. Here are a few shots from my phone...




The guest of honor looked so pretty in her pink dress.





Aunt Jeanie getting to know Camryn.





Aunt Helen





All the gifts





Leslie and Josie. Josie is exactly 6 weeks older than Camryn. It
Will be fun having a friend to go through this raising a girl with.

And Lawson wrestling Cade not once but twice that day. Lawson is like a banty rooster.  He doesn't have a clue that Cade is 8 years older and 70 pounds heavier than him! 









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Three Months

 Camryn was 3 months last Saturday.  So I'm only a week behind on updating her current stats.

She has changed a lot between 2 & 3 months.  She is now playing with her feet all the time.  As soon as you lay her on her back both feet are up in the air and she will grab them.

Also, as you can see from all of these pictures, if her feet aren't in her mouth then her hands are.  She is constantly sucking and chewing on them. 

We've also started consistantly trying to feed her cereal every night.  And I use the term feed very loosely.  Really, I think she could care less about it.  Usually I pop the spoon in when she has a smile and she keeps that open mouth look for  a bit until she swallows a quarter of it and spits the rest out.  We've been putting cereal in her bottles since the first of August but I've been trying to give her cereal on a spoon while we are eating dinner.  We'll keep working on that skill. 

The week before I came back to work she had a very snotty nose with a cough and sneezing.  I figured it was a cold or allergies.  I wasn't going to take her to the doctor but Charity suggested that I should.  I decided that was a good idea.  I'm used to having a 9 year old.  When he gets a snotty green nose I always give him a time frame....if that's not looking any better in XX days then I will call the doctor.  I was forgetting that little ones need to go before it gets bad.  I'm so out of practice!  So I loaded her up and took her to the doctor.  And she either had a cold, allergies or possibly teething.  But at least I was able to start work Tuesday without wondering if she had pneumonia or something.  And it also gave me a chance to have her weight checked...13 lbs and 6 oz! 

The day she turned 3 months old we put her in the Miller Fall Festival Baby Show.  The outfit she has on in these pictures was her "show" outift.  My plan was to get the biggest bow I could find to attract the judges attention.  It must have worked because she won 1st place!  I think Jay was pretty proud of the plaque. That afternoon I took a nap and I could hear hammering.  When I woke up Jay said he didn't know where I wanted the plaque but it was going on her wall for now.  After hours and hours of decorating her room it's not exactly where I would've placed it, but I'll rearrange it later. 

She hasn't rolled over yet, but I think she is getting very close.  But her talking and screaming skills have improved.  She is starting to scream just to scream.  She is also able to hold her head up and she likes sitting on your lap with just your hands around her waist. 

I had to include this one with Cade.  He stuck his head in her first picture I took at 2 weeks so I have him do it on everyone.  He is still very proud of her.

Are you going to have anymore?

I’ve already been asked this question, actually several times. I’ve also been asked if we are going to adopt again. That one I can understand, but the other one…not so much. I remember that before the ink was dry on Cade’s birth certificate I was asked that question, only it was phrased when are you going to have more. They are lucky they didn’t catch me in the right PPD mood or I might have told them exactly when…it would’ve involved a temperature drop in a normally very hot place. Cade was three before I could even entertain the thought of wanting another child. That kid wore me out.


The first time I was asked if we were going to have anymore I don’t think Camryn was much older than 3 weeks. I hope I kept a normal looking face because I really like that person and I know they didn’t mean anything by it. But I felt like my jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes bugged out of my head. If only it were as simple as making a decision to have more….

Every one has their struggles in life, we all have our problems and issues, but infertility is one that completely strips you of your ability to make something happen on command. I know that God owes us nothing, but having a baby is an act of nature. It is the way our bodies were designed to operate. And when that doesn’t happen when you want it to, it just plain stinks! It is really hard to wrap your head around why that has happened to you. And I really don’t think until you’ve been through it you really understand how the overwhelming hurt of it all can actually take your breath away sometimes. Oh sure, plenty of people can and will sympathize with you because it’s our nature to hurt when those we love hurt, but it’s still not quite the same.

So will we have more kids? I honestly don’t know because I have no idea what God has planned for us. But I can say that after our 6 year ordeal I know He is in complete control of the situation. What I also know is that  Jay and I will never just decide to have another baby. I vowed during those 6 years that I would never again knowingly try for a baby once we finally had a 2nd child. Neither of us has any desire to go back to that waiting game. Will we adopt again? More than likely no. I don’t think I could knowingly put myself through that agony again. But who knows, if something were to sort of fall in our laps we might be open to it. We have left our name on a list with an attorney to call us back in a couple of years. I just hated the thought of closing every door on adoption…so we left a crack in it.

But all in all I am very happy. I’m just enjoying my life where it is at right now. Whatever happens will happen. But If I could make one request of God..if He does decide we need another baby someday I hope He doesn’t stick with the 9 year rule. Could you imagine….18 yr old, 9 yr old, infant, 43 yr old parents….that gives me chills.

Another Bus Story

It's been "that time of year" for a few weeks now.  Thankfully the weather has cooled off, kids are getting back into the grind of school, and thousands of yellow buses are travleing all over the place with sub drivers who have no clue where they are going.  Yes, fall is in the air.

Jay has already sub drove 3 or 4 times this year.  Every trip is usually full of laughs.  Or at least I laugh when he tells me.  I'm not sure he thinks it's quite as funny sometimes. 

One day he came home and said there was a boy on one route that if he were in his 30th year of teaching he would've jerked off the bus and screamed at him.  Thankfully, since Jay's not in his 30th year and we like it here, he refrained from doing that.  I really didn't take the story much farther at the time.  Jay didn't volunteer what happened and I got involved with something else and didn't ask.  A few days later we were walking around the festival and we passed a group of kids.  Jay made his irritated face and said he'd like to grab that kid and do some damage.  I asked why.  He said that was the kid that purposely told him the wrong way to go numerous times on the bus route.  It's really hard to not laugh over that kind of stuff because I can picture it so clearly...I'm sure most of you are also picturing Jay driving the wrong way on a bus and then having to turn it around...

We happened to get our 2011 Yearbook the same day he sub drove on another route.  He told me to turn to the 3rd grade page (which was Cade's class last year) and look for Nathan M.  The name did not ring a bell with me at all.  When I saw his picture I recognized his face but not the name.  Clearly he and Cade don't share the same interests because I've never heard him talk about this kid.  Jay looked at his picture somewhat in awe.  He said that kid knew the route like the back of his hand.  Every turn, every stop.  He led me the whole way.  Jay was clearly impressed.  A few days later this wonder kid got brought up again and we asked Cade why he didn't play with him.  Cade said he was kind of a troublemaker and he says bad words and watches inappropriate shows (his exact words).  All Jay could say was "but he knows that route like the back of his hand"....

Sub bus driving...the hardest $20 you'll ever make.

Yesterday was my first day back at work. I guess it’s going ok. I have a good job, I work with people I like, I’ve been here 10.5 years so I’ve got a lot of good benefits built up (sick leave, vacation time, etc), and I have insurance, which with Jay’s job and the state of Missouri, is becoming ever more important….BUT, and there is always a but….it’s really hard to work and leave a baby.


We have a great sitter for Camryn, I’ve been able to leave her every day without worrying about her – at least outside of what mom’s usually worry about. Actually, that is what I feel the best about. I know Camryn is being taken care of very well. It’s the other stuff that bothers me. Like getting back into a cleaning, laundry, cooking routine where I don’t neglect my family. Or being worried about being so tired that I can’t function at work. Or the fact that I didn’t have one single bout of insomnia for 12 weeks, then Monday night it was like welcoming an old unwanted friend back – Hello insomnia…hello 2 am where my thoughts race around like hamsters on a wheel and I want to go back to sleep but I can’t because I’m worried about that loan I just did, did I figure the collateral right and how in the world am I going to get this week’s laundry done because we have a school function going on every night and why is Cade snoring, does he have apnea and should I be concerned about Camryn favoring her right side of her head and didn’t we get Cade’s fair check in the mail, where did I put it, did I throw it away, etc. I don’t know how many times I’ve been awake tearing through our mail basket and trash at 2 am because I can’t remember if I’ve paid a bill and what if it’s late and I get a late charge? That’s the stuff that bothers me about returning to work.

Actually, the insomnia is what really bothers me. I notice all these issues related to my health that I didn’t have when I was at home. Is it really healthy to be awake 3-4 times a week at 2 am for at least an hour? Why does stress do that to me? Things are fairly slow at work right now, so I’m not swamped. I think I should be able to get back into it without to much stress. So why the heck am I not sleeping at night??? Drives me crazy!

But then on the other hand I think that if I wasn’t working I’d probably still have insomnia eventually. There would be something that would come up to cause me enough stress I’d loose sleep over it. During the day I can fight off all those unwanted worries pretty easily, but there is something about 2am where it is very hard. But that is Satan’s plan, so I’ve really got to work on it. And I have to remember that I managed the baby stage with Cade just fine and I will manage this stage with Camryn just fine. But I am 9 years older so I may be just a little slower this time around.

But these two don’t seemed concerned about anything. Our highchair has wheels on it. After breakfast I was in our room finishing getting ready and I heard the wheels on the hardwood. This is how I found them. I’m not sure if Cade thought she needed the company or if he wanted the company – but either way he rolled her into the family room so they could watch TV for a few minutes. I have a feeling I’ll be fighting TV with this one a lot. Cade didn’t have a bad influence like he is to her when it came to TV.




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Does this bear make my butt look big?



Like Cade said...She's showing her "bear" butt to the world!




I dont think she minds.

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Tolerance

Yesterday I got a huge box of great hand me downs from Kelly, a friend from college. I would link back to Kelly's blog but I'm on my phone. They brought home their daughter, Josie, from Russia earlier this year. Josie had some great clothes she was willing to share with Camryn. Most of them are winter and since it's 100 degrees here today I didn't think I should try them on Camryn. But I couldn't resist this hat, which also has a matching coat. Hopefully Camryn's head will slow down a bit or I'm not sure she will be able to wear the hat when the coat fits.

Does it not look like she is barely tolerating me and the hat?




Actually I'm not sure which one is tolerating more...Camryn wearing the hat or Cade being a part of torturing his sister (which is what he thinks any sort of head gear does to her)



Kelly, she really us excited...even if she doesn't look like it. Thanks so much!!!

Here is another one from earlier in the day. She's getting big!



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