Friday, December 30, 2011
First Date vs Last Night
First Date: Barely eating because of nerves and not wanting to drop food on my dress before the Block & Bridle formal
Last night: Barely talking because we were both so hungry that we concentrated on eating. When we did talk it was to repeat over and over how much Cade would love Hu Hot and how we needed to bring him here sometime
First Date: Being part of the “wild” crowd at the B&B formal
Last Night: Looking at the weirdly dressed kids with 15 facial piercings and a hole in their ear lobe the size of a dinner plate and discussing how we hope none of ours want to do that to themselves
First Date: Wore a dress that was a little more low cut than I realized until I saw some of the infamous “Party Pics”
Last Night: Looking at the awful pre-teen clothes and praying Camryn won’t want to dress like a hussy someday
First Date: Pretty much stayed by each other the whole night
Last Night: When I needed to go upstairs at Macys to see about exchanging something for Camryn, Jay asked if he could stay downstairs - There was a lady making an ugly scene at one of the perfume counters and he wanted to watch the show
First Date: Perfectly applied make-up and checked to make sure there was no food on my face or in my teeth after dinner
Last Night: When Jay finally made it upstairs after the “show” I looked up and he had something black smeared from the top of his lip and along his nose all the way to his forehead. I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants (that was certainly something that didn’t happen 13 years ago). Thought it was grease from the escalator????
First Date: Discussed in person the arrangements for the evening (went with 3 other couples) and then during the evening talked with them
Last Night: Texted a friend to get directions to some wild Christmas lights – then Jay texted them back once we found them about what he really thought of the lights
Fist Date: Jay paid for everything...Dinner at Nakatos, drinks, B&B admission charge - everything - and willingly brought me anything I wanted or needed
Last Night: When we stopped at Krispy Kreme I asked him to get me a donught because my feet were hurting and I had already removed one of my boots - All he said was "if you're not going in that's going to cut down my number of free ones"
First Date: After a wonderful evening Jay dropped me off at my apartment door
Last Night: After getting almost home we remembered his truck was at my office so we had to add 20 minutes on to the drive before we could even get home. Then once in the door we were greeted with a crying baby still awake at 10 pm and another child hyped up and not ready for bed.
I’ll take last night over 13 years ago any day.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Forever Party
Thursday morning we did sleep in until about 6. After that, we were up and moving and didn't stop until after the party. My mom came over early to help me, which was mostly trying to keep Camryn happy. She is definitley a Mommy/Daddy's girl right now. She would be fine until one of us would walk through the room and then she would cry. I think my mom was pretty tired by the end of the night also...We also had a lot of help from Jim and Sharon and my Dad and Lynn. Thanks to them and my mom I didn't actually have to cook anything. That was a huge help. I don't think I would've got everything done if I hadn't had their help (see comment about laundry on previous post).
We had about 75 people total at the party...and they were all here at one time! Our house is about 1500-1600 square feet. You can imagine how crowded it was. We opened up our garage and put the food, some tables and space heaters out there. That helped a lot with the space issue. Maybe I was just to happy and in denial, but it never seemed that bad. The guests might have a different story....But it was so great to know how loved Camryn is in our community. I often think about how I didn't want to move here at first, but now I'm so thankful God brought us here. He definitely knew best!
Janella made the cake (of course!). Notice how it matches Camryn's dress? The napkins and plates for the cake were the reverse of her tights. I'm big on matching themes, and No, no one can remind me of that when Camryn is a pill about her clothes matching in a few years. The day I bought stamps for her invitations I went to the Post Office to get my stamps and the mail for work. I was so excited that they had ornament stamps this year that would match both our party invitations and Christmas cards. In fact I was so excited that when I got back to work I realized I had forgot to get the work mail. I had to go back to the PO. It was embarrasing explaining that in the office...
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Christmas Confessions
I had so many people tell me my Christmas was going to be so much fun this year. I really truly believed that it would be a whole lot of fun. I had visions of Camryn happily sitting at my side playing with bows and ribbon while we calmly opened presents. Even 2nd time mothers have unreal expectations because that is exactly what did not happen. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not complaining at all….There are many adjectives I would use to describe our Christmas…Wonderful, Blessed, Happy, Content, Magical, Extraordinary, etc. I loved putting out presents for 2 kids, seeing all the family, showing off Camryn, opening up all the cute outfits that everyone gave her, watching my dad hold her while he told everyone on Christmas Day about how she was an answered prayer that we started praying for years ago, etc. But I don’t know that I’d necessarily use the word fun to describe Christmas. I guess I either forgot or didn’t realize how overstimulating Christmas is for little ones. Or at least it seemed to really bother our little one a lot. As Jay and I like to put it – Camryn was a total wreck last week.
I’m just trying to be totally honest. I’ve read so many blogs lately about Christmas and the Santa debate and how they celebrated Advent and all the perfect, wonderful stuff they’ve done. I even read about a baby 2 months older than Camryn who will pet baby Jesus’ head in the nativity scene if you say Baby Jesus to her. Yeah…none of that stuff went on in our household this year. So for all of you mothers who felt less than perfect this year because you had good intentions of doing great things, but didn’t get past day 2 or 3 on you Advent calendar – this is for you.
• I wanted to do some Advent stuff with Cade – I found something really cool to use on November 30. I didn’t get it printed out that day and I never thought about it again until somewhere around December 15th.
• We have a Nativity set that was part of our 12 days of Christmas gifts last year. It was one of my favorite things from those gifts and I loved doing it last year. It didn’t happen this year. In fact on Thursday, while cleaning for the party, all the numbered boxes filled with the wonderful Nativity characters sat on the end table mocking me. I didn’t know what to do. Should I leave it alone, or take out the characters up to day 5 so it looks we tried even if it would be lying? Finally I took the figures out of the box and set them up. I shoved the numbered boxes and book to read along with it in a drawer.
• We do Santa in our house. We are also involved very heavily in our church’s Christmas program which is a live Nativity. I think we do a good job balancing all of it. For any one who does Santa and worries about the long term damage it will do to their children - Cade and I had a talk about it this year. I asked him if when he found out Santa wasn’t real did it make him question if God was real. He gave me a look that said “that’s crazy”. He informed me he’s never doubted that God was real.
• Everyone has different opinions on how many gifts is the “right” number to give your kids. Some say 3 because of the Wise Men, some say 1. I don’t have a clue what the magic number is. I think it’s different every year in our house. Every year I set a budget and then go from there. Mostly the number of gifts correlates to their attention span. Obviously I didn’t get Cade, as a toddler, 20 presents to open. That would be insane. I had spent my allotted budget on Cade this year…until Christmas Eve. He told me that morning that if he would get Madden 12 for the Wii it would be a dream come true. So what did Jay and I do? Stopped at Wal-Mart, lied to Cade we had to buy chips for Grandma’s house, and bought the Wii game.
• Christmas night we let Cade stay up thinking he would fall asleep. I sat up during the middle of the night and heard the Wii still going. Jay got up and it was 2:30 am. Cade had played the Wii non-stop from 7pm until 2:30am while wearing his good slacks and sweater he had wore to church. It’s a wonder he didn’t have a seizure from staring at the TV for too long.
• My house has been so cluttered the month of December I haven’t been able to enjoy my Christmas decorations….mostly because I can’t see them because of all the clean laundry that is perpetually piled on the couch. It has been so bad that Cade even said he was tired of the house being a mess. So are we – I just can’t seem to get a handle on it. Cade told me that it made him feel claustrophobic. Join the club. I’ve felt that way for months. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will manage to get control of the house again? Maybe by next Christmas????
I guess what I’m saying is that I’m a totally imperfect mother. Christmas was really hard this year with a baby. It wasn’t necessarily fun, at least not the kind where you want to do it every day of the year – honestly it was quite exhausting. Our Christmas celebrations also spanned from Saturday through Tuesday and involved lots of traveling….which correlated into lots of diaper bag packing and unpacking…and an overwhelmed 6 month old. Also our trip to St Louis and the Forever Party Thursday night did nothing to help all of this craziness. So for those of you who may be feeling a little tired, or stressed or quite honestly glad to see the tree is down and life is back to normal don’t despair – those feelings are normal and they are ok to have. I think sometimes, especially for those who’ve waited years to have kids, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect. And that’s just not possible.
But as I survey the living room and kitchen scattered with different gifts and things drug in from the car from our travels….my son planted in front of the TV playing too many Wii games….my daughter who has no interest in petting baby Jesus’ head from her Little People Nativity set, only tossing him as hard as she can…. I’d sum up our Christmas with two more words….Imperfectly Perfect.
Finalization
We waited for a very long time that day. Our time was 10:30 so we got there at 10. We didn't go in to see the judge until almost 12:30. They only finalize adoptions on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month and this one was the last day possible of 2011. There were a lot of happy families waiting that day. Since we had already waited so long what was a few more hours?
Camryn didn't care for the waiting much. Our trip to St Louis seemed to be the start of her holiday craziness. That poor girl hasn't been herself in a week. I think she is way way overstimulated. She goes back to Stacy's today - I think she is ready for her routine again.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Six Months
This was a pretty big month...
- November 5 her other front bottom tooth started coming in
- Started noticing the buttons on the remote and our phones
- Likes to stand up
- Started holding her own bottle
- November 12 she was able to sit up for a few seconds unassisted before toppling over
- November 19 was the day that nothing on the table because safe. I now eat with my plate 3 feet in front of me. I also have to watch my hair and jewelry. She loves to grab it.
- November 25 she started saying her MMMM sounds. It sounds very close to Mama
- November 26 she started sitting on her own with now help, but still no rolling over or any indication she wants to crawl.
- Noticed November 27 she can stand while holding on to something.
- December 1 Jay said 'oh boy' to her and it sounded like she repeated it back to him
On the evening of the 3rd Cade was staying with Jim and Sharon. Jay needed to get something at the school so we went to Miller and ate pizza before stopping at the school. Everything in the restaurant was fine. Camryn was all smiles and her normal sweet self. When we were done we put her in her car seat and left like normal. We drove the few blocks to the school and everything was good. As Jay was getting out of the car she startedf fussing a little. It was about bed time so I made her a bottle. I was trying to hold it from the front seat and it was really uncomfortable. I took the bottle out so I could move around in the front seat and prop it up for her. She started screaming. At first I thought she was just tired and mad. But the crying continued. Jay got in the car and we started for home with her still screaming. After a couple of miles the crying changed to a scream that was awful. Something was wrong. We stopped the car and I took her out of the seat. We thought maybe she was pinched or something. That didn't seem to help. We didn't know what else to do so we put her back in the seat and she screamed the rest of the way home. When we got home she was still screaming. At this point we had no idea what was wrong. I thought maybe it was her stomach. Jay and my tempers were getting short with each other by that point because we couldn't get her to stop crying. We forced some gripe water down her, which she hates, and that was an ugly disaster. Jay was doing it and too much came out and she got choked. I got mad at Jay because I thought he did it on purpose, etc. You can probably imagine what it was like. Finally she went to sleep and we thought it was over. She slept so-so that night. When we got up the next morning I gaver her a bottle and then I moved her and she started crying again. That's when I realized something was wrong with her left arm. She wasn't using it and it was limp. I freaked out. I knew something was dislocated. All I could picture was us taking her the the ER and a big ugly scene with child services developing and not being able to finalize on the 21st. I think what bothered me the most is that we had no idea what had happened. It would've been one thing if we could've said we jerked too hard on her arm getting her in her seat or putting her jacket on or something. But we had no clue. Still don't have a clue what happened. I think she must've moved her arm just right and did it herself in her car seat. Jay and I took her the ER and I was scared. What she ended up having was a Nursemaid elbow. It is fairly common and the hospital treated it like it wasn't a big deal. When we got in the room I ran into the bathroom which was across the hall. I was gone less than 3 minutes and when I got back in the room the doctor already had it in place. We handed her paci to her and she grabbed it with her left arm and was as good as new. We even managed to get Cade picked up and make it to church on time that day. We just have to be careful because now she will be prone to it.
After the whole ordeal was over and we knew everything was ok, Jay and I had a good laugh about the night before. Here we were fighting with each other forcing that gripe water down her. Can you imagine what Camryn was thinking - you idiots, it's my arm, not my stomach!!!! I felt like such a horrible mother. I'll never forget putting her on our bed while we were getting ready to go to the hospital. She was on her back and her other three appendages were moving like normal. Her left arm though was just laying there. How did we not notice it the night before? Since we've had it happen though we've talked to several other people who's kids had it happen. Our doctor did it to his own child on a slide. That made me feel better.
Five Months
Her 5th month was a pretty slow one. She spent a large part of the month pretty crabby. But by the end of the month we knew why...her first tooth popped through on October 26. Also that morning she rolled over twice. She did it once for me and then I put her back on her stomach and she did it again for Cade. Up to this date (December 26) she has yet to do it for Jay. People ask me if she can roll over - I tell them she can and Jay basically says I'm lying. But I have seen her do it a time or two since then. Why move much when you have plenty of people to hold you???
I didn't push the solid foods much this month. She exasperated me. We come from a long line of good eaters....I think my sister and I ate good, Cade was good, Jay was good, Avery and Lawson were good...so having a non-eater was driving me crazy! I finally decided to quit trying for awhile. I just hope she's not eating because she's not ready...not because she's going to be a picky eater!
We took her to the doctor on October 18. At that appointment she weighed almost 17 pounds. She is almost out of 3-6 month clothes and is moving into 6-9. She seems to be carrying all of her weight in her thighs. So far her eyes are still very blue and her hair is a light brown to almost strawberry blonde color.
5EESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS5ES
Monday, December 19, 2011
12 Years
When we discussed what we were going to do for our anniversary earlier in the week Jay said he’d thought about getting a hotel somewhere but then realized we couldn’t fit it into our schedules. Yes, that is the joy of getting married in December. We usually spend our anniversary involved in a school or church activity. We do try to at least go out to eat, but that just didn’t happen this year. But we are both in agreement – all we need for our anniversary (and Christmas) is our trip to St Louis and the party Thursday night.
We spent the day of our 12th Anniversary and church and then had a hectic lunch at home. After lunch Jay took the kids to the school’s Christmas program and I went to Wal-Mart. When we all got home I sat down for a few minutes because I was exhausted then I made food for our church party. After the church party last night we drove around Miller and looked a Christmas lights, while Camryn slept in her carseat. There was one house that deserved a 2nd drive-by. I’ve never seen so many Christmas blow-ups in one yard in all my life. Cade asked why we didn’t have any of those blow-ups. I told him they were too expensive. He said “wow, that family must be rich then”. Even with nothing special happening the day still seemed perfect.
If you are someone who has big dreams of doing something big for your anniversary every year (or at least the majority of them) don’t get married in December. If you are someone who knows that things are hectic like this for only a season in your life – then go for it! Christmas weddings are beautiful!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Our Weekend and Week So Far...
Friday Camryn had her 6 month check-up then we went Christmas shopping. It was pretty uneventful.
Saturday morning I wrapped Christmas presents and then tried to bake cookies. The cookies were for church Sunday night. They were a disaster. Absolute mess. Finally I figured out I only put in 1 cup of flour and I needed 3. I really don’t care for baking.
Saturday afternoon we went to church to get everyone dressed to walk in the Miller Christmas parade. It was several wild minutes of fitting angel wings and shepherd head dress things over winter coats. Then we watched the parade. After the parade we went back to the church to run through our live Nativity which was going to be held Sunday night. I’m sure our new preacher thinks I’m bossy because I spent a lot of time yelling (only because Jay was far away and has an ear infection and couldn’t hear very well) where the kids needed to be. I assume everyone else already knew I was bossy.
Cade rode home from the parade with me. When we pulled up to the house Cade said “Dad did a really good job with the lights”. I agreed with him. Then Cade said “I believe I need to compliment him”. Cade pronounced every syllable distinctly. He sounded like Rob Lowe’s character on Parks & Rec. I had to try very hard to keep from laughing.
That evening I finally got Camryn’s stocking cut out. I got out my sewing machine to stitch it together and the regular foot was gone. Sometimes I think I need a new hobby. Every time I try to sew, something goes wrong. I looked everywhere for the foot and couldn’t find it. I had taken my machine to dad’s last weekend so I figured the foot was gone.
I woke up at 5 am Sunday morning to try making yet another batch of cookies for Sunday night. They were another flop. In the less than 24 hours I had wasted 4 sticks of butter and countless cups of sugar and flour. Did I mention I don’t care to bake?
Sunday after church Camryn and I went to Springfield to the store where I bought my machine so I could get a new foot. I think I had tears in my eyes when the lady seemed very surprised I was missing the foot and then told me it would have to be ordered. Great. I left the store and went back out to the car and did another check to make sure it wasn’t there. Right on the passenger floor board was the foot. I think I was as excited as I’d ever been. I went back into the store to tell the lady never mind, I found it. Jay asked if I started the conversation by saying “yes, I am a little crazy right now…” At least I did get Jay’s Christmas taken care of while we were in Springfield.
When I got home that afternoon I decided to try baking one more time. I decided if this one didn’t work the good citizens of Miller would have to do without cookies from me. I had a Brownie mix in the pantry. Unbelievable….a brownie mix from Aldi’s turned out when all of my cookies didn’t.
The live Nativity went very well. I didn’t take any pictures because quite frankly my hands were too cold. Getting my phone out seemed like too much effort.
Cade started getting sick Sunday afternoon. Like any good parents we medicated him and told him not to tell anyone at church he didn’t feel good. Don’t you hate parents that do that? Usually I do to, but there were not other options Sunday. That provided me with a day off on Monday. You never want your kids to be sick but the timing of this was pretty good….
I spent Monday cleaning the house because our LAST home visit was Monday night. If Cade hadn’t been sick I’m not sure when the house would’ve been cleaned.
Over the weekend Jay and I discovered that one of the pillows on our bed with the sham that matches our quilt is missing. We noticed it last week and at first we thought it was misplaced. We’ve finally came to the conclusion it was accidently put in one of our give away sacks last week. Our bed is now lopsided. Jay went to the Service Center yesterday to see if he could possibly buy back our pillow and sham. He didn’t see it. We aren’t sure if someone bought it already or if the people at the Service Center thought why in the world would someone think someone else would want this nasty pillow and threw it away. If anyone happens/happened to see or buy a red sham with blue ruffle at the service center recently, please let me know. Our other sham is lonely.
Tuesday night I remembered I had signed up to make more cookies for our church fruit baskets. I must’ve been temporarily insane that Sunday. Why in the world would I ever sign up to bake something. Camryn didn’t seem to care last night that I had things to do. She was not interested in letting me bake.
Today I woke up at 5am again to bake more cookies. The getting up at 5 doesn’t bother me, that’s my normal time….but getting up that early to do something I strongly dislike (bake) irritated me. They also flopped. I do not like baking!! But I do not understand what is wrong. I’ve made cookies before, I am not incompetent at baking. I’m beginning to wonder if something is wrong with my oven??? But since the brownies turned out I’m not sure that is the case.
Now I'm stuck with a dilemma. I have to have cookies at the church by 7 pm. Do I go to Summer Fresh and buy some from the bakery or buy the Nestle already made ones you only have to bake. What to do…what to do….
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Finalization Funny
I guess we are all a little worked up about finalization….or at least Cade and I are. I knew I was. Jay doesn't say much about it so I'm not sure his thoughts. After last night we now know Cade is worked up. Why oh why was this one of the gene's I managed to pass on to him.
Scene: Dinner table last night
Cade: I have homework but I don't have to do it tonight.
Me: (confused) Why don't you have to do it?
Jay: Apparently he told his teacher he wouldn't be at school on Friday
Me: Why did you think you weren't going to be at school Friday?
(Jay was giving me the look that he does whenever he already knows how the story is going to end)
Cade: It felt like Friday was the 21st so I told my teacher I wouldn't be at school
Time to start working on how to read a calendar….
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Some Random Holiday Pictures
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Monday, December 5, 2011
Comments from Cade
Me: your clothes for today are on your bed
Cade:(while wearing a towel around his waist) Good! I can get
Out of this thing that makes me look like a Greek God.
Jay: why are you wearing
Sunglasses? It's
Dark outside
Cade: because it makes me
Look dashing.
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Friday, December 2, 2011
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
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Jay and I’ve been working on the Great Muck Out of 2011 over the last week. This enormous project all started because of looking for 1 little computer CD in the computer cabinet.
I do go through our closets and drawers frequently. I try to give our house a good scrubbing every 6 months. But I don’t get through everything all at the same time. This is probably the most heavy duty sort out we’ve done since we moved in 7 years ago. Really, I do keep our house clean…this is just the hidden stuff.
I don’t think I’m a hoarder. I throw things out on a regular basis. By 7pm on Wednesday evenings I’m asking Jay if he’s read the paper and if I can throw it out. But there are things I’ve collected over the years that’s really hard for me to turn loose of. It seems like the older I get the worse I get. I think it may have something to do with the fact that I've think about my Depression Era Grandma’s more and more for some reason. I can hear their voices saying….you never know when you might need that.
• 16 rolls of Christmas wrapping paper. I like a good variety. Some of these rolls I’ve had for years. I only wrap one or two presents from each kind every year. Five of them have never been opened. Not sure when I got them.
• 7 packages of unopened name tags. After finding them it all came back to me-in 2009 I bought several after Christmas. In 2010 I didn’t remember any of that and bought more.
• Countless gift boxes. I know I hoard boxes. I can’t help myself. If someone is going to throw it out I’ll take it. I may need that exact size next year. My problem is so bad that even though I know I’ve got plenty at home I will still get one from the store if they happen to be giving them out….and I’ll also keep it for the next year.
• Ribbons. Very similar to the box obsession. I use real ribbon on my packages. It actually pains me to see someone throw away one of my ribbons. I find myself watching what happens to the ribbon when the present is being opened – much like a mother can’t take her eyes off of her baby when someone else is holding it. Now our families are trained – they give them back to me as soon as they untie them. Jay said I’m sick….People give them back before they even enjoy opening their gifts. Again, I know I have a problem. The gift wrap/box/ribbon thing came from my Grandma Ewing. It’s so similar it’s scary.
• About a billion coats – including several that I had in HS. Jay made me get rid of them. I know other people need them more than I do, but what if I do need them some day?
• Old sheets and curtains. I can’t part with them. What if I need them some day because I need to sew a dress out of them or something….or if we move or paint. They do make good drop cloths. He at least got me to move them out of the hall closet and into a tub in the garage.
• Craft supplies of any sort…ribbons, paper, fabric. Jay tried to throw some of my paper away. I almost passed out (actually I said what if we have no money some day and need to write a letter to our families? Jay said if that was the case we wouldn't have money for a stamp so there was no need to keep the paper). We did find a home for it in the hall closet. It’s amazing how much room you have when you move out old curtains. But Jay hasn’t looked behind our bed yet. That’s the blessing/curse of angling your bed in a corner. It’s makes a great hiding spot for all the material that was in Camryn’s closet that I had to move when we brought her home. I need all of that material for all the projects floating around in my head (that I will never actually have time to do).
We are probably a little more than halfway through the great muck out. Last night we tackled our closet, but Jay had just as much stuff to get rid of in there. I think we had 5 large garbage bags of clothes. Embarrassing. It has gone so much faster with Jay’s help. We only started a week ago and we very likely could be finished by this weekend.
After taking one load of stuff out to the truck to give away that included some FFA and FCS stuff Jay said that if anyone who knew us at all happened to go through the stuff they’d be able to figure out who it belonged to. A little while later I had a diaper box full of various books on infertility(everything from how to survive it to a fertility diet) and an A-Z guide on Adoption. I agreed with Jay that someone could figure it out. Jay said “yeah, especially with our name and address on the diaper box”. Whoops! I had to rip that off. I don’t actually want anyone to know who’s responsible for the Christian Service Center’s
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Black Friday
Here she was at 5am. She was ready to shop in her special jammies that say Best Gift Ever!! People kept calling her a boy.
This is nap #2 for the day. Bargain hunting is hard work.
Very happy after her nap. We put her bow on to avoid anymore gender mistakes.
Finally we were on the way home. Mom and I wanted to do the same thing.
We made it home for the 2nd half of the Razorback/LSU game. Too bad it was the worst half of the game. But still it was a great day for all of us.
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